Treatment of subs, when they’re on their periods

[Katenka]

Say your sub is female and has a period, & it can hurt and they can be moody, even aggressive. What do you two do during that time of the month? Do you leave them alone? Do you comfort them? What tasks, if any, do you still expect them to do?

[DR29]

I’m still new but I would say it’s something that needs to be agreed before hand as everyone is different. I think an extra bit of aftercare would be good, back rubs snack cuddles and movies

[Deleted Member]

More aftercare, less penetration, more teasing and plenty of comfort. Especially if you are really aggressive then give her this time to heal.

[Sw****]

I have end stage endometriosis and am a 24/7 sub. Generally this time is all about focusing on taking care of my body for him, not doing things that will worsen my ***.. a lot of focus on the more logistical components of the dynamic, which for me means asking him for permission before doing chores or picking up extra work since I tend to overestimate my body. I have had expert excision surgery (the only permanent/legitimate  treatment for endometriosis)  so my *** levels aren’t as bad as they used to be, but we still use it as a time to focus on the mental aspects of things more. During my (chronically ill, very ***ful) period, my dom is my Godsend, he’s the only one who truly understands how bad my *** is, and goes above and beyond to protect me from both the physical ***, and the mental component of being reminded I live with disabling chronic ***.  
Fortunately since my  excision surgery, sex alleviates my *** for several hours. 😎 adds a whole new level when I can literally put my prescriptions away and skip the stomach ulcers in exchange for gentle penetration and some fun dirty talk. 

 

 

[typhoon2]

A sub is a human being, first and foremost. BDSM labels don't overrule basic human empathy/sympathy and dignity. If my subs have their period then everything changes to suit them, just as with a broken leg, family bereavement or whatever. They will know best what can be done, depending on their own unique circumstances, and it's inferred that they will always do their best to maintain whatever relationship exists. If they don't, then the D/s relationship is failing anyway. If there is inadequate communication so that both parties are unsure or ignorant then that's also a failing, albeit one that is all too common generally.

[Koby]

Typhoon2 - well said.

 

BDSM is not held in isolation. As a holistic relationship involving 'Nilla and kink elements, there will be times when the relationship is not kinky at all and we just have our relationship hat on.

 

[Deleted Member]

The healthy thing to do would be to respect your sub and comfort them in that situation, however a sub shouldn’t overstep a boundary of respect for their Dom outside of the bedroom anyway unless they are purposely being bratty and deserve punishment.

[Dreamaway]

All the way through your feed you seem to be having problems with your other. Before the *** takes off you need to address your relationship from ground up. Don't confuse domestic *** with BDSM, sorry but it's how it sounds to me. Do take care but also, ask yourself if you seriously still have any deep feelings for him first and foremost.

[Deleted Member]

Orgasms can help period *** (;

Seriously thou, limits during periods can be different from other times of the cycle. So it all depends on your sub. Some women enjoy period sex, some dont want to be touched in anyway during. So what you do with her will depend on her own limits and preferences during that time. If sex is off the table, other intimate acts can be done, or even try something new for the body- for example wax, rope, impact, sensory play etc. If no touching, you can encourage visual tasks, (pictures, dress up etc) or writing tasks. Maybe even encourage and join in self care - baths, cuddles etc. If the sub is aggressive or suffers mood swings, the best you can do is understanding and go from there. 

[TeeJay_98]

I think this is something that should be discussed between the people involved and hopefully a mutual agreement will be formed. 

 

But from my own experience, when it's that time of the month, I prefer little to no play, mainly just aftercare procedures. But I know of a few that carry on as normal. I think it merely depends on how it affects you and what each person is comfortable with. 

[Si****]

Doesn't this depend on the sub, the period, the dynamic?
In my particular situation, if the little one is on her period she gets it in the ass 😊

[TeeJay_98]

3 hours ago, SirPhileasFlogg said:

Doesn't this depend on the sub, the period, the dynamic?
In my particular situation, if the little one is on her period she gets it in the ass 😊

Definitely depends on those involved. Isnt the same for everyone of course. 

[Deleted Member]

Depends on subs, be discussed before

[Th****]

I know this is not really an answer as such.

Every persons menstrual cycle and ovulation have vastly differing effects both physically and in how they prefer it to be dealt with. 

It is one of those very unique areas that is best dealt with individually. Needs and wants during this time can vary so widely that the best person to discuss it with is the person you are with.

From the male perspective, it is often best to be ready to forget lifestyle for a little while and use the time  to show your partner the care taking side of the dynamic. 

[Deleted Member]

It all depends on the D/s relationship. Communication is the key. She has to set her limits. Not all periods are the same. The bottom line is an open line of communication.

[Secretbee]

My ‘problems’ are before the bleed, after that it’s ‘game on’, yes sir, please sir and thank you very much sir all the way. I think people engaged in D S relationships know each other way more than yer average Claire n Dave do

Edited August 7, 2020 by Secretbee

[Mary_Banastre]

I do the things they want to do. If they don't fancy something because they're on their period, we probably won't do it. That seems like being an arse for the sake of it otherwise.

I tend to avoid oral when she's on her period. I'm not so into that.