Co**** Posted August 30 As a man that has identified and practiced in the DD role for decades. The ones that get me are the ones that think DDs are looking to be a sugar daddy or pretend Subs. A true Dom seeks a PARTNER! One who craves the safety and much as the kink. This is because HE craves to be her safety, her champion in all aspects of her life. Not to control her but, to help her in every aspect she could imagine.
da**** Posted August 30 My first interactions are with appropriateness and introductions. Usually by saying hi, I'm in such and such location. I like your profile and please check out mine and let me know if we can work something out. (I want something long-term and permanent) I have once said, in response to an ad, so you want consensual kidn@pping? How does that work? And tell me more. And out of all the messages I've sent, I've only received one word answers or nothing at all or one interaction and they disappeared after a while after getting their number even. But I think they were trying to get me into crypto, but I know better and I set boundaries.
Ch**** Posted August 30 Wouldn't be useful, or worthwhile, to even try to remember inappropriate DMs...I generally try to have fun with them and respond. Our DMs are generally pretty respectful or complimentary otherwise. What we get, as a male dom/female sub couple, that's pretty comical, are the men, sub or otherwise...that assume they're going to be DMing with jenna and fantasy push. I dont want to speak for all MD/fs dynamics, but you can probably assume the dom runs the profile, unless otherwise stated. So the "you're so f.....g hot" DMs will be met with "im flattered" response...but not from her.
Zis Posted August 30 Hey you, as a FemDom I even get texts from men, who are telling me that I just need a reel man, who will show me my place. Love it!!! Always makes me giggle.
Re**** Posted August 30 2 hours ago, KYRIOSDominant702 said: I think this is an important discussion because D/s is built on mutual reverence, and when strangers bypass that, it feels violating... no matter which side you’re on. From the Dom’s perspective: true Dominance is never careless. A Dom who understands his role doesn’t throw power around like a blunt weapon... he holds it with precision, with respect, with an awareness that every word carries weight. A Dom leads with presence, not with shock value. From the sub’s perspective: true submission isn’t just a kink or a hobby it’s vulnerability, trust, a willingness to open one’s softest parts. That should be honored, not exploited. A sub’s surrender is something sacred, meant to be invited through safety and connection... not yanked out by a stranger’s demand. When someone bypasses all of that barges into the inbox with explicit words or orders... they’re not showing Dom or sub energy. They’re performing. They’re chasing a kink high, trying to get a reaction, using the title of Dom or sub as a mask for entitlement. For me, when that happens, it’s an instant red flag. My intuition kicks in, my discernment sharpens, and I choose to just observe. I don’t engage, I don’t take the bait... I watch, and what’s true about their energy always reveals itself quickly. Because respect is the first step in D/s not the afterthought. And anyone who can’t start there doesn’t belong in my space. You put it beautifully. Respect is not seasoning sprinkled on after, it is the foundation stone. Without it, there is no path worth walking, no matter how polished the language or how enticing the promise. Dominance without precision is just noise. Submission without safety is just exposure. What makes D/s profound is not the titles, it is the mutual choice to hold each other’s power carefully. The balance is tricky. In the app world there is an unrealistic expectation to stand out instantly while somehow not crossing lines. People are hungry to be noticed, but real connection is not built on shock value or gimmicks. It is built on presence, patience, and the willingness to let reverence grow at its own pace. So when someone storms past that with a barked order or vulgar opening, they are not leading or yielding. They are consuming. I would rather take my time, see if the current between us hums, and let it unfold naturally. Because what is given freely and honored properly endures. The rest burns out fast.
Ji**** Posted August 30 Can't say I have ever gotten an unprompted message from a woman. Plenty of men I have zero interest in however
jo**** Posted August 30 yup, i feel like the whole dom/sub dynamic gives a lot of doms the feeling like they can just be a**holes, oh the amount that I've blocked! - although tbf most of them are probably scammers as this app is riddled with garbage, probably deleting it soon as I have yet to meet a single person.
Ma**** Posted August 30 Well said, @KYRIOSDominant702 - although I would temper that slightly, with a reasonable desire to attract a response - and in that first message or two, not truly knowing what could be considered appropriate, and what not. Sometimes a message that seems wrong, is simply appropriate - for a different person. To answer the question, I never really get totally inappropriate msgs from subs. Very, very few make first contact. And I'm deliberately excluding scammers, as they aren't worth the electrons. Everyone is different, and what's suitable for one person (even on a first contact) won't be with someone else. Sometimes the only way to find out, is to try - and the lack of response is often the only indicator.
Deleted Member Posted August 30 My experience with unwanted messages on this site has been mostly rude Female doms demanding I submit. Clearly didn't read my profile or scammers trying to sell me something like cypto, real estate, or some other scam investment. I have accepted (sadly) there will be a level of this bad behavior no matter what site I use. That is a damn shame too.
sq**** Posted August 30 5 hours ago, KYRIOSDominant702 said: I think this is an important discussion because D/s is built on mutual reverence, and when strangers bypass that, it feels violating... no matter which side you’re on. From the Dom’s perspective: true Dominance is never careless. A Dom who understands his role doesn’t throw power around like a blunt weapon... he holds it with precision, with respect, with an awareness that every word carries weight. A Dom leads with presence, not with shock value. From the sub’s perspective: true submission isn’t just a kink or a hobby it’s vulnerability, trust, a willingness to open one’s softest parts. That should be honored, not exploited. A sub’s surrender is something sacred, meant to be invited through safety and connection... not yanked out by a stranger’s demand. When someone bypasses all of that barges into the inbox with explicit words or orders... they’re not showing Dom or sub energy. They’re performing. They’re chasing a kink high, trying to get a reaction, using the title of Dom or sub as a mask for entitlement. For me, when that happens, it’s an instant red flag. My intuition kicks in, my discernment sharpens, and I choose to just observe. I don’t engage, I don’t take the bait... I watch, and what’s true about their energy always reveals itself quickly. Because respect is the first step in D/s not the afterthought. And anyone who can’t start there doesn’t belong in my space. Incredibly well said
my**** Posted August 30 I don’t get unwanted messages. There was one I wasn’t compatible with, I explained that and we parted ways. Otherwise the subs who have messaged me have been respectful and interesting.
Da**** Posted August 30 No i have never gotten a message like that. And i normally just send a compliment or conversation starter. Kinky or not we are all just people.
DJWolfDaddy Posted August 30 No I don't normally get messages like that here on this platform speaking as a loving Daddy. You only messages that I prefer getting our respectable. And sincere from real submissive
ki**** Posted August 31 It’s a thing. I’ve seen the messages men send to women, and they’re horrible. Report them and get them off the site, for the good of the community. I think it goes beyond incel culture, but I don’t get it. But you’re right in all of your observations.
H0**** Posted August 31 No, I don’t. I also message try to make my messages directly responding to the persons profile or a photo in the most vanilla and personal way. I have had some profiles that “leave it wide open or ask for a more sexist nature” which I’ve often put and then have a message that’s normal.
re**** Posted August 31 I can confirm based on my experience that I have never received such behavior from any sub
Re**** Posted August 31 As someone who does a lot of things online. I have had people tell me to stop talking because my voice made her incredibly horny and didn't even know this girl and said that she fantasizes about me banging her just because she heard my voice. Now I am a heavy sub lean and never told her I was a Dom but she assumed I was. This actually turned into a full on obsession in the place I met her in which caused me to have to leave. So subs can be weird too, but I fully agree that many people shouldn't be doms
Vi**** Posted August 31 Back when i was a dom, i got those messages alot back in ***am or kik days but it was usually a once in a month occurrence didnt happen everyday
ya**** Posted August 31 As a Dom I have gotten random messages from female Doms demanding *** and that I submit. Most likely scam bots but weirdly it's happened more than once
Na**** Posted August 31 Everything seemed to be going a little too well and she ended up asking me to be her fifth for her gangbang with her boyfriend
xf**** Posted August 31 What I get in this world ( not specifically here , too short on here ) is either people claiming to be "subs or sluts" wanting to be it in play but are not in nature.... These women are often more dominant have high demands and want to be served and pampered like queens..... And acts more like brats ....Not that I'm not into that but don't call yourself a sub then say you're a brat or a queen....I will treat a good sub / slut whell that is willing to serve , I will pamper you at times yes etc I'm not a monster.....but I want devotion and dedication and to see you love it and do it naturally!!And most miss that they want to be submissive but only in the bedroom which falls short of my expectations to me it's a way of thinking and respect towards each other like a code of honour.....not a mask you put on for the night or a character you play for a night.... And in vanilla mode I'm very friendly caring that is part of my daddy Dom nature......it fools a lot of people....but when they try and take advantage and are more dominant I will put you in your place....or dismis you from my life. ...... other stuff I get is mistress wanting to enslave me....I'm guessing it's because I'm into all of that gear , clothes and stuff and we are like minded in that way and I guess they see that.....But I've learnt over time that I will never be submissive because my dominant side is way to strong ......Honestly I would love a good "fight" between me and a Mistress it's very arousing but I know from past experience I will always win that fight 😈😈😈 but the challenge is welcomed 😈😈
Wi**** Posted August 31 14 hours ago, daroota said: My first interactions are with appropriateness and introductions. Usually by saying hi, I'm in such and such location. I like your profile and please check out mine and let me know if we can work something out. (I want something long-term and permanent) I have once said, in response to an ad, so you want consensual kidn@pping? How does that work? And tell me more. And out of all the messages I've sent, I've only received one word answers or nothing at all or one interaction and they disappeared after a while after getting their number even. But I think they were trying to get me into crypto, but I know better and I set boundaries. My experience has been exactly the same and I’ve been considering leaving the app. My first message is similar, nothing sexual and it’s either no response mainly or barely interested ones that don’t last long. It’s very disappointing as I was hoping from this app not to find instant sexual gratification, but I was hoping women would be in touch with themselves intimately more and be more open instead of shying away.
Recommended Posts