Not giving oral. Am i being selfish?

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, BaphBabe said:

Boundaries are boundaries. If you don’t like something, that’s completely okay. There’s nothing selfish about about not enjoying an activity! Please don’t *** yourself to keep trying, it can make your aversion even worse.

Well said

[bi****]

Its fine. But also allow people their preferences. I wouldn't get with someone who didn't perform oral.

[or****]

Not being selfish. It is your preference and your boundaries. As long as your partner knows before hand. If they can't handle that then they don't need to go any further. Me I am a giver. I am open to get head but not a must. I much rather be the one giving and love what I do even if I do get it in return. I get off getting my partner off. So I mean a few will be mad or say no. But there are people out there that are very ok with that

[DarkArts1066]

Sex - and kink is like every other aspect of our lives.
We shouldn’t feel we ‘have’ to do anything that we don’t wish to, or won’t tolerate just to please someone else.
There is nothing at all wrong with your stance on this.

As a slight caveat, for me personally, I would certainly appreciate it -if and when things progress and sex is on the agenda, a conversation were had, so that both partners understand each others hard limits.

It doesn’t have to be a whole ‘G7 summit’ kind of conversation, but a simple “just so you know, I don’t give head. It totally kills my mood”.

I’m actually not a big fan of receiving oral sex myself, and in my younger days, when a partners head would start heading south, a simple “you don’t need to do that….” followed by me manoeuvring her and turning the tables -so to speak would be enough…. but these days it’s important to be clear about these things -and people seem to be more open to having that short frank discussion than they were back then.

There is nothing worse when “getting your groove on”, and someone does something inadvertently that their partner finds a complete turn off… and you kill the mood instantly !

This is especially true where kink is concerned… because there are SO many ways one can overstep -without that conversation happening.

Informed consent at all times is the way forward. 👍🏼

[Ce****]

Next.....

[Al****]

Your aversion is more common than you realize. There are tips. For example the male consumption of pineapple juice can and does impact bitterness. If he eats lots of salts, meats, spices that will cause it to taste more bitter. Having preferences does not make you selfish, but it can be a strain on a relationship that wants/needs that form of expression. Be kind to yourself.

[Te****]

Every phobia has a source and a cause. The trick is finding it and over coming it. For example if you like receiving it but don't like giving it there is a contradiction and a reason for it. Until you solve that your stuck. At the end of the day. A lover should love playing and pleasing the one they are with. But if they are selfish intentions then it has. The reverse affect. So in short. You might like the domination kink of receiving but giving in affect is degrading. Good luck

[iz****]

Simple, you dont "suck it" ,you dont get ate. Give to receive

[Deleted Member]

10 hours ago, cherryville791495 said:

Can ask if you like for a guy to go downom on you if yes he's probably would like the same in return

Not necessarily. It's all about preferences. It's been said before, and should be common knowledge at this point, especially on a kink site. Ffs...

For example, I myself, would rather munch box or actually be the one sucking D instead of receiving it. Does that mean I'm going to say no if my partner WANTS to do it, no. But if I never receive one, it's not going to hurt my feelings.

[ju****]

But did you try it

[Da****]

You gotta give to receive

[pr****]

We don’t care if you enjoy it we just want to tu to try your best and hopefully you will get to the point of enjoying your self but we don’t care aslong as we fell your mouth and feel wanted

[so****]

there is no such thing as sensitive when it comes to your preferences. will this boundary turn some people off? sure. but no one will be happy in a relationship where you are making yourself do something that you don’t want to do.

[Deleted Member]

That really just depends on you and your partner. As long as you’re both getting your needs met and are happy, then who cares?
That said, I’ve gone from dating women who love giving oral to those who hate it and essentially only did it on rare special occasions. For us, it was a minor issue. She knew it was an activity I desired and felt bad that she wasn’t doing it… so we talked about it and she did her best to make up for that in other ways we could both enjoy.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Satchmo420 said:

You gotta give to receive

No you dont

[ki****]

Easy Sweetheart , All u have to Do is let ANY Man know UPFRONT wht u are looking for !!! Tht U ARE A True Pillow Princess !! And wht U NEED is ur Own Personal Muncher' Man who Njoy just Eating Pussy for your pleasure Only ( No Reciprocation ). Plz Put tht in your Profile or tell Him that Straight UP !! And trust me, you will be successful.!!!!

[Ne****]

Yeah, if you’re not enjoying it then it’s not sexy. Enjoy your freedom to enjoy what feels good and turns you on, and to turn on your partner in ways that stimulate you in a good way. Follow what feels good, not what doesn’t.

[Br****]

I think it’s only selfish if you still expect him to go down on you because that isn’t fair at all. Can’t expect receiving if you ain’t giving

[Ti****]

16 hours ago, neomiami said:

You don’t like giving oral, do you like receiving? Does your partner feel the same way about Oral? This platform is for kinky people, with due respect, you seems vanilla. And there’s nothing wrong in vanilla sex as well, as far as both of you agree to it and enjoy it. Communication is the key and deliver how you feel about oral to your partner.

Not liking a single sexual act does not make you vanilla. And BJs are an incredibly vanilla act on their own. What a weird assumption for you to make.

[Ti****]

16 hours ago, MrDarkKnight said:

As a man who hates receiving I wouldn’t say your being selfish or inconsiderate. Not everyone is into the same things, having limits and different things were not exactly into is perfectly normal and fine

Thank you for saying this!!🤩 Now can all of the judgmental men on this thread who keep implying she is somehow unworthy of a sexual relationship, because all men MUST want the same thing, just shut up! 🙄

[Bl****]

There are plenty other things you can do,blow job isn't a must,at least not for me...

[Al****]

it’s only selfish if you judge anyone who wouldn’t date bc you didn’t

[Sweetestsadist]

I find it amusing that out of the men that said they wouldn't date anyone who didn't give oral, are all but one, single in their profiles.
I actually enjoy giving now. I changed with my own boundary of not cumming in my mouth, and me being explicit about not skull f**king me, or I WILL bite back. The biggest shift for me, was the outlook of the act itself. Tying them up and blindfolding them was a great feeling, because I was giving the pleasure I wanted to give. It wasn't out of obligation
or ...
***AHEM FOR THOSE IN THE BACK**
Doing it because I didn't want to lose the guy.

And it's on your profile that you don't like it. He can't really fault you for not wanting it, when it's there in black and white.
We all have different flavors. That's what makes this an adventure. Good luck to you on finding confidence with your limits or with the expansion of them.

[Lo****]

You do you. But like everything in life there are consequences.
For example we wouldn't date long.

Hopefully you find the right man.

[wh****]

Some people can just not like giving head so it's completely understandable