Into something but not doing it out of respect for limits.

[Ch****]

Im curious. Are there any people out there into certain stuff that have been in or are currently in a kinky relationship with someone who isnt into something that you like? If you are, how does it impact your relationship? Is it or has it driven you to splitting with someone? This question applies to any and every kink/fetish btw, at leastin my book.

[Ma****]

I ask the question, if she says no, then I’ll park it up and leave it. Not fair for me to enjoy something she’s not keen on

[Lu****]

Idk if it would ever drive me to leave a partner, especially if it was one id been with for awhile and truly cared about, depending on the kink tho it may be something to discuss opening the relationship if its not already, and seeking satisfaction for it elsewhere.

[Za****]

Personally; Yes it’s hard when you like something they don’t. But leaving them because of that sounds a little over the top. Love and sex too me are too different things. you can love someone without sex. you can have sex without love. it just depends on what YOU want.

[x-Claudia-x]

It's very common to not be kink aligned. For some, the spicy side of relationships are only a small part of their relationship as a whole. For others, its a major part of their identity. Start with healthy communication geared towards accepting each others' likes / dislikes. If there's no common ground there then see if there's another interest that can be enjoyed together. If one partner is vanilla and the other is wired to explore kink & BDSM it is often a mismatch that never gets resolved unless there is permission to satisfy the urge outside tge relationship. Deceit is never the answer.

[Deleted Member]

haha what did you talk about at the beginning of your relationship? xD

[gu****]

Definitely. Most of my partnerships only align in parts with my own desires and kinks - And the same goes for my partners.
We communicate openly about that and since I live in open relationship contexts it is not often a problem. Quite the opposite, honestly. Because it gives safety in sharing those other things without the expectation of failure.
For me it's like any other kind of hobby - some people are good for hiking, others love sailing or theater plays. Some show me things I've never seen before.
Communication and understanding is the key - then you can find happiness for every person involved.

[jj****]

I think just about every relationship I’ve had has been with someone who isn’t a switch, so I’ve always been limited in the kinds of activities my partner would tolerate. Maybe it impacted the relationship? It’s not why any of my relationships ultimately ended though.

We all have to do some give and take in a relationship. It depends on what you prioritize with a partner. For me, I’m ok with not being 100% aligned on kinks as long as the relationship is a happy and healthy one. I mean like, honestly it is kind of hard to date someone who isn’t into kink AT ALL, but who knows? Maybe I’d be willing to date a celibate monk if there was something else there that I felt even more moved by.

[in****]

100% alignment in sexual and kink interest and limits is a rare thing to find, and it isn’t necessary for a relationship to be a very good thing. One of my current partners is the person with the highest sexual compatibility with me I have ever met, but there are still some kinky things I quite enjoy that are hard limits for her. Despite that, I am amazingly satisfied with what we have.

The question is, is there enough compatibility for a given pairing to be rewarding, and that’s something only the people involved can decide. Some people have multiple partners in part to be able to do/experience some things with one that another isn’t into.

[lo****]

Yes. It's hard to be in a relationship with a person who is not i to kink. Your giving up a lot if yourself and desire for this other person. And the hard question for yourself is, "Can you without your kink?" For me, I was with a guy who totally not into kink and then I learned he was not into sex at all! After a year with him, I had to end it.

[tu****]

It hasn't. I adapt to my partners needs & desires.

I do keep the channel of communication open & have found that as time, trust & bond strengthen, they are more open to things, but if not, it doesn't really bother me.

[Ro****]

Depends. Do they put effort into you in other ways? If so, I'd be okay with it. But not putting in effort or very little into any notable way will leave me feeling a certain way about the connection and rethinking continuing it.

[Sh****]

I've explored stuff that wasn't really my thing but my Domme was very excited to try. She enjoyed it quite a bit, I didn't feel strongly about it and it didn't really come up again. I think she enjoyed the act but without the reciprocal nature of that excited energy going back and forth she recognized it was something I could bring to her for her benefit but not really something I'm going to seek out myself.

I've had a similar experiences with myself in the dominate position that turned out well. Her body had a much stronger reaction than she expected she would. It shocked her but didn't become a normal thing either. Instead it was an exciting "backup" plan on a rainy day.

If the sub wants to experiment with their Dom/me that's good fun. If you are communicating well and have mutual respect you can play in spaces that may not yield the best results and you'll be fine. Doms shouldn't pressure their subs to perform. Suggest yes, pressure no.

[se****]

There are quite a few things I am into that my wife is not. So I'm allowed to go explore those things without her. That's how it works for us. We have also been ENM for almost our entire relationship, so I think that helps build the trust needed to be able to have your cake and eat it too... We weren't always like this with kink, it took a lot of time and patience and open communication to get here.

This also might be a good time to make sure all your partner's needs are being met as well. If they are not feeling loved enough, for example, they might not be as open to kink. It's all about trust and communication. And at the end of the day, they are the only one who gets to decide what happens to them.

If it doesn't work out, remember, They shouldn't have to change to be the person you want them to be, so you gotta decide whether to change your expectations of them or get out of the relationship and try to find someone more compatible to your interests

My wife and I have been together over 20 years....these things take time...

[Se****]

My last sub was at first open to anal training. One of my favorite kinks. After about a year of training, upon getting her comfortable for actual penetration she revolted and would not discuss it further! Yes it damaged our communication, confidence, trust, and mindset! I could not regain what was lost. Not the sex but the trust l thought l had! This was too much to overcome!

[st****]

proper communication is the key, sometimes, its just hard to some people to adapt it however, if both end is trying to help each other out and maybe train each other on how to play it with an assurance that you guys have each other through out the play.

[Ba****]

Well both me and former partners broke things off over my unwillingness to overextend myself

But just getting back to the title
Reasons i wear pants;
1) being „nice“ to strangers
2) pockets
3) protection from the more aggressive/defensive parts of nature

[NS****]

I don't have a partner atm, but to me, the enjoyment of my partner is one of the most (if not the most) important thing. If I want to do something she's not into, then I don't do it. Limits are limits, and should be respected. It's up to the partner to want to explore them or not.

I wouldn't personally leave over it, but I would just talk about it with my partner. If it's something I (or her for that matter) really want, we can perhaps explore. If two people are completely misaligned sexually, it could be a breaking point to some, depending on how important it is.

Communication and honesty are key

[ey****]

22 hours ago, Chalupin_III said:

Im curious. Are there any people out there into certain stuff that have been in or are currently in a kinky relationship with someone who isnt into something that you like? If you are, how does it impact your relationship? Is it or has it driven you to splitting with someone? This question applies to any and every kink/fetish btw, at leastin my book.

so, right now

myself and my partner have some fetishes which don't overlap 

so, we ahem, with the knowledge of the other - do those with other people.   

[ha****]

Serious question. Is your relationship monogamous? Can you go elsewhere for this specific need, or can you bring your sub along to help you? If monogamous, open communication and negotiating something between your desires and their comfort level needs to take place. Are your desires past their soft limits or hard limits?

[C3****]

Yep. But we are open, so we do it with other people instead with each others blessing.

I will say there’s a few things that were a no at first that once each of us got time to process and think on it, it became a yes with conditions. No pressure! Just time to think about why (usually ***. Research helps.).

[Mr****]

The real question would be are you okay with not having it for the rest of your life. If the answer is no then that relationship probably isn't for you. This applies to more than just kink. Most things to me break down into 3 categories. Needs and wants. And then wants breaks down into willing to give up and not willing to give up.

As someone people have pointed out you can potentially turn to Non-monogamy to have those desires met if you and your partner are open to that. But you can't open your relationship if monogamy is a need it will only end poorly.

[cn****]

Yes I am in that situation, it's ate me up from the inside out and now it seems like we may be getting a divorce. She won't say it's because of this, even though I've told her time and time again. Don't do it

[PowerCouple247]

6 hours ago, MrWrong00234 said:

The real question would be are you okay with not having it for the rest of your life. If the answer is no then that relationship probably isn't for you. This applies to more than just kink. Most things to me break down into 3 categories. Needs and wants. And then wants breaks down into willing to give up and not willing to give up.

As someone people have pointed out you can potentially turn to Non-monogamy to have those desires met if you and your partner are open to that. But you can't open your relationship if monogamy is a need it will only end poorly.

Probably the smartest reply I have read in a long, long time.
Absolutely correct.

[As****]

Great, wise reply! You may be Mr Wrong but for Challupin you were Mr Right…..