thefootslut Posted September 20 Got me thinking the other day, when starting a new relationship, with someone you’ve not met on here, how soon do you you either explain your kinks to your new partner, or start acting them out? Is it something you mention soon in a relationship? I’ve always found it very awkward to mention certain kinks, but at the same time I feel it’s important to talk about them as soon as possible, just so we’re both on the same page so to speak.
Sk**** Posted September 20 It's been my experience that if youre not getting what you need in the way of kinks...it won't last. I bring my kinks up almost immediately ish. For me...certain needs not met is a deal breaker.
La**** Posted September 20 Yes. Immediately after casual getting to know conversation. Sort of uncomfortable it may seems but prevent you from further heartbreaks and wasted time. I learned the hard way. Dont wait until you get too invested to a person while it wont even work out in the future. Save yourself from the: ‘Well they/I might explore. Who knows’ trap. Most of the time, human already know what theyre into and not. It takes maturity to admit that most human stay on their fundamental preference from the beginning. Thats my take.
24**** Posted September 20 The sooner the better. Just play it cool as things come up. Otherwise it will get established as something you don’t feel connected with.
24**** Posted September 20 I agree with Lady King. Most men especially have their preferences established early on in development. Doesn’t mean that they can’t lean or learn. Just be honest.
My**** Posted September 20 Never too soon to discuss likes or dislikes and to discuss your kinks if it's not meant to be you're better off being alone than with someone judging you or simply wasting your time
Cu**** Posted September 20 I put kinky and friendly if not more in my bios. It’s then a topic you can bring up easier because if they read your profile they swiped knowing you are kinky.
He**** Posted September 20 I find ppl bring up kinks within the first few msgs on here. I mean its good to get it out of the way but sometimes I wanna know you before I -know- you, yanno?
ey**** Posted September 20 I think this has been a big reason why a lot of people moved to fetish sites, or communities to find potential partners because stuff like "so, I have these fetishes..." wasn't as often a dealbreaker or big issue But yeah, you meet someone from other circles and at some point you have to have the conversation about kink and that can go one of many ways including rejection and misunderstanding I guess a lot of context is in what your kinks *are* and in how much of a dealbreaker they are. The more of a dealbreaker they are, the sooner it's worth raising them - because if you're with someone 6, 9, 12 months and you really like the other person and they say no to your kinks - or you're afraid they'll say no - it brings up more problems
SirLee85 Posted September 20 I find that it is easier and more natural to discuss my kinks after we connect on other levels first.
thefootslut Posted September 21 Author Wow I honestly didn’t expect everyone to say almost immediately. I’ve always taken an age to reveal my kinks to partners 😂😂
ey**** Posted September 21 Like there's a lot of context and some does depend on who they are, where did you meet them, how long have you known them - and of course, what your kinks are and which are dealbreakers - and - how easy some are to introduce but the ideal - if something is a dealbreaker the sooner the better. if it's a "would like to have" then there's less harm in waiting, but you have to make sure you're happy if it's a no.
en**** Posted September 22 Personally, I'm capable of being perfectly content in a vanilla relationship, so I don't rush it. It comes up either whenever feels natural or whenever I'm really in a particular mood to try something. In my last serious relationship, there were plenty of kinks I *never* told my partner about, and that was fine, though to be fair I was still figuring myself out anyway. I think the "right time" really depends on how big a part of your life/relationship those kinks are. If you feel like it's a heavy secret you're hiding then of course you'll want to get it off your chest sooner, or if you're afraid they might reject you for it then you should get it out of the way ASAP. But if it's just a casual interest then I think it's fine to wait until it comes up more naturally.
4R**** Posted September 22 As soon as I’m able to I’ll move the conversation in the direction of kink. There’s no point wasting time building a relationship that’s not going to work because you’re not a match.
SissyBiCouple Posted September 22 Yesterday at 12:47 AM, SweetAmaretto86 said: Before or on the first date The first day we spoke and I wen back to his. He told me then that he likes to crossdress. It excited me and turned me on. I asked him if he had anything to put on and to go and put it on. He did! We then f***ed all night!
thefootslut Posted September 22 Author 5 hours ago, SissyBiCouple said: The first day we spoke and I wen back to his. He told me then that he likes to crossdress. It excited me and turned me on. I asked him if he had anything to put on and to go and put it on. He did! We then f***ed all night! That’s amazing, and proof that there’s a place for being up front straight away!
Ca**** Posted October 6 My kink is cuckold I have been in two cuckold relationships the first evolved that way after several years of a "normal relationship" so I've only had one relationship where I've had to bring up links so take this with a pinch of salt. I knew I wanted a cuckold relationship and was looking on traditional dating sites , I did have a line saying "previously being in cuckold relationships and looking for another" but I never ronce brought the topic up first, choosing to get to know the person first
Recommended Posts