Deleted Member Posted October 3, 2025 There is nothing more fulfilling than when two people meet in the “zone” where all of the parts fit together, where there is total acceptance and appreciation of roles; where each other’s needs are completely fulfilled. I’d like to know how other Domme’s and sub’s get into the zone? In my experience, it starts out with the right attitude in instant messaging. I appreciate it when I am addressed as Sir or Daddy when I am contacted; it set’s the tone for future possibilities. I think respectful online interaction is a precursor to a respectful physical interaction and supersedes any physical appearance. What are your thoughts?
in**** Posted October 3, 2025 I don’t think Sir or Daddy is ever really applicable in initial messaging, and if it is, it’s never with true soul and just word foreplay really. In effect, we’re all strangers. But… when the puzzle pieces are gravitating toward their place and start manoeuvring all by themselves and honorifics and titles become part of the conversation. And we feel the weight of the affection that comes with them terms when truly felt organically…. Holy shit. Strap the seatbelt in because it’s all go from there. Very heavy business indeed.
Do**** Posted October 3, 2025 I think there’s a gut feeling when messaging, whether you’re on the same track together. The conversation flows easily. Then when you feel the connection you arrange to meet. And on meeting it feels right and easy too. It’s hard to predict and measure. Or sometimes it’s like you’ve been blown over when you meet, and you can’t assemble your words properly. . It’s that magical something…….
Re**** Posted October 3, 2025 If there's a connection. You can feel it. Sometimes, I just had one that was so fucking intense. It last about 8 months, but our sexual chemistry was out of this fucking world. And we were feral for each other. Then shit happened.
al**** Posted October 4, 2025 12 hours ago, intellectualruffian said: I don’t think Sir or Daddy is ever really applicable in initial messaging, and if it is, it’s never with true soul and just word foreplay really. In effect, we’re all strangers. But… when the puzzle pieces are gravitating toward their place and start manoeuvring all by themselves and honorifics and titles become part of the conversation. And we feel the weight of the affection that comes with them terms when truly felt organically…. Holy shit. Strap the seatbelt in because it’s all go from there. Very heavy business indeed. I agree. I never start with Sir or Daddy. Those terms are only for those that I fully submit to. Being asked to use them from the beginning is putting the cart before the horse. I can be respectful without using honorifics.
Deleted Member Posted October 4, 2025 Author 1 hour ago, aligurl80 said: I agree. I never start with Sir or Daddy. Those terms are only for those that I fully submit to. Being asked to use them from the beginning is putting the cart before the horse. I can be respectful without using honorifics. I said I appreciated it when I am approached with an interested sub and she greets me that way. I don’t expect if but it certainly sets the tone that they are ready to serve.
in**** Posted October 5, 2025 8 minutes ago, MizzWAP said: Do you think someone can fake this type of chemistry? Never. And why would they? And I think to try and deceive in this lifestyle is unbelievably cruel too. Giving yourself to someone is sacred. Anything other than real is criminal to be honest.
Do**** Posted October 5, 2025 1 hour ago, MizzWAP said: Do you think someone can fake this type of chemistry? Surely if it’s not there you would be able to feel it?
Deleted Member Posted October 5, 2025 This!!! Yes this is what I believe should be the ideal of how to start any venture with someone/others. This type of connection is that feeling you wish you could bottle.
Ar**** Posted October 5, 2025 On 10/4/2025 at 3:03 AM, aligurl80 said: I agree. I never start with Sir or Daddy. Those terms are only for those that I fully submit to. Being asked to use them from the beginning is putting the cart before the horse. I can be respectful without using honorifics. I'll weigh in and agree with this sentiment too. Each to their own, there are exceptions and obviously few cases are absolute, but there are whole forum threads here already discussing the potential red flags of using an honorific before it has been discussed/agreed to.
Nylon-Nellie Posted October 6, 2025 (edited) On 04/10/2025 at 04:22, dfwdom said: I said I appreciated it when I am approached with an interested sub and she greets me that way. I don’t expect if but it certainly sets the tone that they are ready to serve. Honorifics from the get go, is a red flag for me and even more so for new submissives who are new to the lifestyle and gaining knowledge either from one to one interactions or answers on this forum. Person first kink second. Submissives are likely to get more of a response from you if they use honorifics. Are all submissives ready to serve when they contact a potential Dom, who may or may not be compatible with them? Edited October 6, 2025 by Nylon-Nellie Added a word for sentence to make sense.
Deleted Member Posted October 7, 2025 Author 20 hours ago, Nylon-Nellie said: Honorifics from the get go, is a red flag for me and even more so for new submissives who are new to the lifestyle and gaining knowledge either from one to one interactions or answers on this forum. Person first kink second. Submissives are likely to get more of a response from you if they use honorifics. Are all submissives ready to serve when they contact a potential Dom, who may or may not be compatible with them? I completely respect your opinion.
Tr**** Posted January 30 October 5, 2025, MizzWAP said: Do you think someone can fake this type of chemistry? I think many try. What the purpose of faking is tends to be an individual thing but I never care to find out. There is an energy or vibe that comes from the real, the honest, that can be picked up. It’s just a matter of, no matter how bad you may want the person to be real, you have to listen to your gut and if it’s questioning, well it’s actually answering. Submit to yourself in that case cause you know what’s best for you. Time isn’t something you can get back. Try not to waste it the best you can for the sake of what you want. But we all do at some point unfortunately. Live and learn ya know…good luck.
Tr**** Posted January 30 I def love and acknowledge a good early Sir in the messaging process. To me it doesn’t get taken as submission. And I don’t demand respect from anyone, until I do. But to call a dominant man Sir to me shows a level of respect that we all are taught from early ages and does show that the person acknowledges you as someone, like everyone, that deserves respect until they don’t. That being said I don’t notice it if the person doesn’t and think less of. And I never demand it until the mood, vibe and situation calls for it and usually sounds exactly like. I think now is a good time to put a sir at the end of that (yes or no) and most times it’s appropriate and acknowledged as so. Sometimes I get a reaction that lets me know this situation isn’t quite what I thought. And sometimes I get a reaction that leads to a discussion and an understanding on both sides and we carry on. And the good times where I get a “sorry sir, yes or no sir” which is followed by a 😏 on my side and the ball is then rolling. My favorite feeling for sure. Sorry so late with this but it’s what I do lol hope all is well
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