Attraction

[Wo****]

What attracts you to people?

 

Physical attraction? Personality? Status?....

 

Personally, for me it's your brain. I'm a sapiosexual. It took me years to figure out that my "type" wasn't based on physical attraction. I rarely feel that. It's intelligence, that spark..

 

So, what attracts you?

[Moz-5308]

To be able to hold a conversation, not meaning how clever you are, but how you respond. Little things said that spark another topic, interest in what you are saying. But also I find being able to be silent together and feel comfortable just being in a persons presence is just as important. You want to share things about yourself and let them into your weird colourful life. The small things that you find out about each other that no one else knows you only find out through engaging with beautiful people! But that’s just my opinion

[Ar****]

Compassion, integrity, kindness, self-awareness...

[Wo****]

17 minutes ago, Moz said:

To be able to hold a conversation, not meaning how clever you are, but how you respond. Little things said that spark another topic, interest in what you are saying. But also I find being able to be silent together and feel comfortable just being in a persons presence is just as important. You want to share things about yourself and let them into your weird colourful life. The small things that you find out about each other that no one else knows you only find out through engaging with beautiful people! But that’s just my opinion

Love this! Yes!

15 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Compassion, integrity, kindness, self-awareness...

Self awareness... interesting one x

[Moz-5308]

To know yourself and push beyond your own boundaries is a wonderful thing, but also the most difficult I find! That’s a reason of getting to know the real person, if they are pushing you (in a good way of course) not so they can get something but for you. And they will expect nothing in return! That makes someone so attractive in my eyes, the ability to connect.

[Deleted Member]

Many things, too many to list and they can change from person to person. They can be physical or spiritual, a face on a page or a few words she may say. Her laugh, whether she likes dogs or ACDC. Some big and some small, but always she must smell nice and posess empathy.

[Deleted Member]

A certain amount of feistyness, nothing better than using a disagreement as pretext for some subtle flirting!

[Deleted Member]

Someone who I trust and is truly honest with me .I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s looking like I’m Asperger especially after talking with a fellow aspie , so I’ve struggled with communication and confusion at peoples responses. To be with someone who hides nothing gives me peace

[Ksub94]

Someone who accepts me for me and doesn't try to change me.

[Deleted Member]

There has to be some physical attraction but it’s not responsible for the spark. Not for me. It’s personality, intelligence and use of language that make me want to be with someone. And after decades with someone who lied and gaslighted - honesty is what I’m drawn to.

[Deleted Member]

47 minutes ago, TAROTT said:

Someone who I trust and is truly honest with me .I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s looking like I’m Asperger especially after talking with a fellow aspie , so I’ve struggled with communication and confusion at peoples responses. To be with someone who hides nothing gives me peace

I know a little about aspies - can understand why this is so important to you.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you, if only I knew that I was Asperger years ago it would have saved a lot of conflict that I could have avoided. Thank you Curvy Kate for your reply 

[Sm****]

What people physically look like does nothing for me. I don't tend to have fantasy crushes because of this. 

For a while, I identified as demi-sexual until someone pointed out that actually it was intelligent personalities that I went for. I like a debate on philosophy, science, movies and music so it takes a level of knowledge and confidence to get me interested. 

And yes as others have said honesty and self awareness are important. I can help expand that self-awareness to find hidden depths if they are willing to put in the work. That's sexy too. 

But ultimately if you have my head in the game then I am luckily to be turned on when I meet you in person. 

[Th****]

Totally with you on the Sapiosexual front @Bounty. There is nothing as sexy as to minds being in tune and sparking one another.

@Ksub94 I think someone accepting and appreciating all of my sides is incredibly important as well.

 

[Deleted Member]

I'm attracted to someone who is confident, smart, kind, funny and someone who is truly themselves and someone who makes me feel safe. There is many more but the ones i have mentioned are currently most important to me. 

Personality is more important to me than physical attraction, but i do have to have that physical attraction too. 

I also like it when someone calls me out on my feisty/sassyness 😂. 

[Pl****]

As a math guy, this is something I've always wanted to quantify, but I've consistently failed to do so. Every time I feel like I've got anything pinned down, there's an exception. I remember I used to think my perfect match would be a physics grad student (I like physics, they're still plenty good at math, but not pure math like me, which would be too masturbatory), and out of the blue, one messaged me on a dating site, and she was brilliant and had a more interesting life than almost anybody I know, and for some reason, I still found her boring. It seems like no matter what measurable qualities a person has, there's always something I can't put my finger on that still has an outsized impact. In practice, I seem to be more into industrial/organizational psychology girls, and I have no idea why.

That said, there are a number of things I tend to like, including intelligence/curiosity, emotional stability, honesty/openness, maturity, passion, shared interests/tastes, strength/confidence, physical attraction/athleticism, and probably a few others I'm forgetting.

I suppose I also end up finding damaged/emotionally needy people attractive too, because I'm very nurturing and sometimes try to help people if I see good in them, and there's a connection formed, but I think those attractions are probably too unhealthy, so I'm trying to change my tastes in that area.

[He****]

After the initial attraction which is usually eyes or arse , mmm can't help it,  it's how you challenge me. If you don't or can't I'm gone. Can't stand yes men, we don't have to think alike don't have to like the same things,  but he has to have a brain and know how to use it. Prefer someone who has lived and who has scars as I have plenty, it means you have empathy usually. Someone who doesn't just see black and white, and someone who will never try to change me, as I would never do it to them. Someone I can talk to about absolutely anything. Someone who can make me laugh, that bit is really important, as I don't think life should be taken that seriously that you can't laugh at it. 

[Mc1-3556]

Personality

[Brettsatin]

I'm attracted to smarts also. Looks aren't even a close second.

[0L****]

Chest, good humour, good heart, a bit crazy fly thoughts, smart, confidence, hands, eyes and mouth.Not necessarly all these at the same time. If all in one, its a dream coming true. Some tenderness is cute too, but with confidence

[Deleted Member]

Personality and a wicked sense of humour

[ol****]

In order

emotional intelligence

personality

self awareness

physical attraction.

[He****]

1 hour ago, MuffSparkle said:

Personality and a wicked sense of humour

Yeah wicked sense of humour,  if you've got that you've usually got the personality to go with it

[Koby]

Substance/Depth/ Sophistication

 

[charie]

In need depth and chemistry. The primitive thing that is going on is we attracted to people with the opposite immune system. To make next gen strong. But I love a nice juicy ass!