Trouble Expressing Sexuality

[mi****]

Hello to anyone who reads this. I’m looking for advice. I have a bit of sexual experience. Nothing to write home about. I have a lot of kinks and sex drive, but I have difficulty expressing my sexuality. Every opportunity presented to me has fallen into my lap, but I have difficulty initiating sexual interest and flirting in person unless I already know they like me in that way. When I see an attractive woman and I want to make a move, my mind goes blank on what to say. I don’t really know what to do about this. If anyone has some insight, it would be greatly appreciated.

[S0****]

Just need to conquer the *** of rejection. Isn't fun but with practice it gets easier. Life's too short to not pursue something you want, better to know where you both stand than ask, what if.

[S0****]

*** of rejection*

[S0****]

F. Ear.

[Deleted Member]

Shoot your shot bro. Who gives a shit. If they matter for you they'll love it if they hate it its not for you.

Its a rough road in our community. Some people find theirs quick and other spend half or more of their lives trying to click.

Just shoot your shot bro. Live in the now and be open to rejection.

[Deleted Member]

It could be a combination of things, or one. There IS sexuality wherein a person doesn't experience attraction unless they know they themselves are wanted by the other person(s.) And I'm sure some fluctuation therein.

I myself simply ask the questions. I don't typically go up to whomever out on the streets and ask if they like me, heh. However, being given no indication that someone fancies me and or it reads like pleasantness and basic human interaction to me, I won't make suggestions, nor any moves as it were.

🫂

[mo****]

You’re going to miss a lot of opportunities if you wait to find out if someone likes you. I don’t think you should lead with your sex drive unless you’re on the set of Eyes Wide Shut. Start with “what’s your name?”……”I had to stop and talk to you!”

[Mr****]

Haha welcome to being a guy. There's so many wrong things you can say. I just became attractive enough that I didn't have to talk.

[Mr****]

Honestly, take a chance. I think people will give you more leeway if you are real

[Dr****]

Just be direct say what you want and feel and real sure some will reject some will accept because you're being real and honest. Finding the right words is dependent on the exact moment it's not really a one thing fits all. Easy way is tell any woman you meet or talk with that hey I can't tell physical flirts or when there is mutual interests towards me . I have that issue myself and most knowing it upfront will just be direct and say hey I'm into you I want you now. Woman are all different and it's a crazy ride but I have found most will accept someone who is honest open and tell them there down falls or inability to see flirting they will almost always make it more direct with touch direct words of interest etc if they are into you.
If she keeps messaging back or first she is interested in you as for sexually if they are into you more than a friend and talk about things like relationship wise then they want sex as well maybe not the first moment or meet etc but they have thought about it in their head. So just be upfront what you really want with them either it's gonna go well or it's gonna end and we'll better now than later is how I look at it.

[Vt****]

I agree... I find truthfulness, trust and communication to be the sexiest features in a man

[OA****]

1 hour ago, VtKitten said:

I agree... I find truthfulness, trust and communication to be the sexiest features in a man

Agree. Be prepared to be turned down - it will happen - we’re not all everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s ok. I have a feeling you’ll come out on top 😉. You sound very thoughtful and earnest.

[Ry****]

Call me at my private number and we can discuss this deeper.

[Ch****]

girlie it just means you havent met the right person! i know thisnis a little silly but you should look at neurodivergent people

[mi****]

52 minutes ago, Chels2022 said:

girlie it just means you havent met the right person! i know thisnis a little silly but you should look at neurodivergent people

I am very much neurodivergent. This and trauma factor into this issue. I’m a man btw😜the pressure of which, I.e. not wanting to be perceived as a creep doesn’t help. I need me a kinky neurodiverse baddie or two who communicate differently like me for sure😂

[mi****]

5 hours ago, mozzarellastick said:

You’re going to miss a lot of opportunities if you wait to find out if someone likes you. I don’t think you should lead with your sex drive unless you’re on the set of Eyes Wide Shut. Start with “what’s your name?”……”I had to stop and talk to you!”

This comment made me laugh out loud and provided a great perspective that I will apply. 10/10 thank you sir🙏

[Submissive_summer]

My advice... lead with presence not the words that escape you when your mind goes blank.. Hold a gaze that lingers more than comfortable...
The way your voice slows down, while everyone else rushes to fill silence
... it's the tension you create that will have her breathe hitching not the words.. Best of Luck

[Deleted Member]

11 hours ago, MrAttainable said:

Haha welcome to being a guy. There's so many wrong things you can say. I just became attractive enough that I didn't have to talk.

What?! This would never work with someone like Me, who absolutely needs mental stimulation/interaction before and above anything else. Being attractive only goes so far and regardless of what someone wants at a given time, communicating effectively is going to become necessary. Doesn't have to be anything like what's shown in movies or how anyone else is doing it. If you're just trolling for sex, it won't ever feel right.

There are lots of approaches. Respectful, polite honesty is usually a good thing.

[Coupleforplay]

Remove the attraction/sex from the situation. You’re only struggling with how to approach because ultimately you have one goal and you *** rejection. So don’t make it about that at all. Approach the same way you would a person you’d never be attracted to, think about how you met your friends, you got talking because you didn’t have the pressure on yourself.

[mi****]

1 hour ago, Coupleforplay said:

Remove the attraction/sex from the situation. You’re only struggling with how to approach because ultimately you have one goal and you *** rejection. So don’t make it about that at all. Approach the same way you would a person you’d never be attracted to, think about how you met your friends, you got talking because you didn’t have the pressure on yourself.

So I’ve seen a lot of comments talking about *** of rejection. I’d like to address this. I’m okay with being rejected, I have been many times. It’s part of the process. I have no issue approaching in a friendly manner for the most part, aside from circumstantial awkwardness I really *** is making someone else uncomfortable with my advances. Seeming creepy or making someone uncomfortable. The issue isn’t removing it. It’s adding it. Because what I struggle with isn’t connecting with people platonically. But sexually.

[Deleted Member]

28 minutes ago, mikes1999 said:

So I’ve seen a lot of comments talking about *** of rejection. I’d like to address this. I’m okay with being rejected, I have been many times. It’s part of the process. I have no issue approaching in a friendly manner for the most part, aside from circumstantial awkwardness I really *** is making someone else uncomfortable with my advances. Seeming creepy or making someone uncomfortable. The issue isn’t removing it. It’s adding it. Because what I struggle with isn’t connecting with people platonically. But sexually.

...If you're saying you're trying to connect with potentials on a sexual level, as the first thing, that's problematic.
Regardless of what one wants out of an interaction/other person, initial greeting should be as one respectful being to another.

Do You, however, mean you struggle with words and/or moves once you've gotten to the point of mutual attraction?

[ce****]

Communication and limits:
Before any scene or activity, partners talk about what they like, what they’re curious about, and what they don’t want. Many people list soft limits (things they might try with trust) and hard limits (things they never want).

[ce****]

Respect and trust:
BDSM done responsibly is built on mutual respect. The goal is shared experience and trust, not harm or *** without consent.

[ce****]

BDSM or fetish lifestyles often follow a framework known as “safe, sane, and consensual” (SSC) or “risk-aware consensual kink” (RACK). Both emphasize that activities should be:
1. Safe – everyone takes steps to avoid physical or emotional harm.
2. Sane – actions are thoughtful and informed, not reckless or under the influence.
3. Consensual – everyone clearly agrees to what will happen.

Before any activity, partners usually negotiate—that means they talk openly about:
• What they enjoy or are curious about.
• What is off-limits (their “hard limits”).
• What safety words or signals to use.
• How they want to handle aftercare (comfort, reassurance, or time alone after).

In well-functioning BDSM communities, mutual respect is non-negotiable. Even when one partner takes a dominant or submissive role, both are equals in setting boundaries and giving consent.