Website Logo
LoginSignup
English

Sex Coach Interview | Dr. Celina Criss on Sex Coaching, Bratting and Kink

While the urge for sex is naturally built-in for most of us, knowing how to enjoy it or be a great lover isn't. Similarly, learning to enjoy sex through individual experience can expose us to insecurities, traumatic incidences, ***, and shame. This kinky education month, Molly Moore talks to certified sex coach and educator Dr. Celina Criss about what a sex coach does, bratting, and how kink fits into her work.

 

MM: Let's start at the beginning. What led you to study human sexuality?
CC: Fascination! I was working with a coach through a career transition, and it came up in one of our sessions that I'd love to do what she was doing (sex coaching.) So we started Googling, which is how I found Sex Coach U and where I did my training. When I met the founders, Dr. Patti Britton and Dr. Robert Dunlap - I knew I was home.

MM: I love that feeling when you know you've found your people! So help our readers with the big question; what is a sex coach?
CC: A sex coach is someone who has studied sexology as well as coaching. We support people with various concerns about sexuality, expression, identity, and relationships. It's goal and results-oriented; the client sets their goals, and we help the client reach them.

Some of us focus on BDSM; others do not. Each coach has their areas of specialty. BDSM is one of my favorite areas of sexuality to discuss, but it isn't the only thing I address. For example, I focus on sexual expression and freedom in my practice. I also provide support for parents, including supervision and mentorship to other sex coaches. I also facilitate SAR (Sexual Attitude Reassessment), training for sexological professionals, and am the Director of Curriculum at Sex Coach U.

MM: What are some of the most common reasons/problems that bring people to your practice?
CC: I'd describe my clients as explorers. They're usually looking to expand their sexual repertoire, and it's not always about kink. Problems often center around communication, and the most common question is, "am I normal?" But we can talk about nearly anything or refer a client to a colleague if we realize we're not a good fit.

MM: Finding a sex coach that you fit with is essential. How can people go about doing that? 
CC: The first stop would be WASC (World Association of Sex Coaches), of course. Also, the NCSF (National Coalition for Sexual Freedom) has a list of Kink-Aware Professionals.

MM: Tell us a little more about WASC
CC: WASC is the first international professional organization dedicated to sex coaching. Our field is relatively young, and we needed a professional home. WASC provides networking and development opportunities for members and a directory for potential clients seeking a service provider. We vet all our members and confirm their credentials and skill sets – so that when clients come to us, they know they're connecting with a skilled professional with legitimate training and degrees. WASC is a perfect resource for anyone out there looking for a sex coach.


THE_MORE_YOU_LEARN_468X60_EN.gif


MM: If someone came to you new to kink and asked where to start, what would be your top three things you'd advise them to do first?
CC:  First, get to know your local BDSM community—they're a terrific resource. Second, take classes if available – a terrific way to develop your skills AND make friends. Third, go slowly and learn your limits. It's OK to have limits, and it's OK to say no to anyone who makes you uncomfortable.

MM: In your experience, what are some common mistakes people make when starting a kink relationship?
CC: The theme throughout has to do with two main things: 1. Know yourself: desires, limits, needs. 2. Communication & negotiation. These are consistently the two main things I help people with when they are new to kink. They'll ask me about gear, rope, or how to suspend a person. But, we almost always land back on one or both of these topics.

MM: Agree. While writing my regular Fetish.com column, I've found that many questions people ask can be linked back to these central themes. When it comes to the broader world, what do you think is most commonly misunderstood about kinky people?
CC:  We're just like anyone else – educated, professional, and family-oriented with hopes, dreams, and goals for early retirement. It's not all kink all the time unless it is.

MM: Let's talk about the course you have at Fetish.com's BDSM Training School on bratting because it's a kink I think many people don't understand. How do you define bratting?
CC: Bratting is like kinky chess in a way... you're looking for ways to outsmart your partner, but always with fun and joy at the center - this isn't about making people upset or angry; it's about deliberately playing with the rules and breaking them because it's fun.

MM: Why did you decide to offer a course in this aspect of kink?
CC: It was a hot topic when we created this course – I was getting a lot of questions about bratting at the time, so it was a lot of fun to make this and put some of these ideas into the world.

MM: What do you love about bratting?
CC: So, I don't define myself as a brat or submissive... the closest you'll get out of me is that I prefer to bottom. I am none of these things all of the time, so it isn't an identity. I enjoy BDSM play because of its freedom and creativity – you can explore various aspects of your expression and power and different flavors of sensation and connection with your partner(s). I enjoy bratting because it makes me giggle. I like the challenge; it's like a puzzle – how can I lose and still win?

MM: I love "How can I lose and still win." I can strongly identify with this statement and love the playful element of this dynamic. Do you think people often misunderstand Brats?
CC: I think brats are unfairly labeled "naughty subs" or "topping from the bottom ." Not all brats are subs, and bratting is its own flavor of power play. No outside observer gets to label the players in a scene, and if the people playing together are having fun, who cares what they call it?

MM: Regarding your bratting course at the BDSM Training School, is it for brats or people in a relationship with brats?
CC: This course is for anyone interested in bratting! If you are playing with a brat dynamic, there are some ideas for negotiating and establishing your field of play. Enjoy!

MM: Finally, a little about you: I know you're an American living in Germany, but what do you miss about the US?
CC: My family, watching the fog rolling through San Francisco and over the Bay, the smell of the ocean.

MM: What's your favorite thing about living in Germany?
CC: Bavaria is beautiful! There are so many things to love about living here - let's just say it fits!

 

Huge thanks to Dr. Celina for taking the time to chat. Hopefully, this article will help shine a light on what a sex coach does and the benefits of sex coaching. Keep it kinky! 
 

 

Discover more about bratting with Dr. Celina's course at the BDSM Training School.
 

Academy_BDSMTrainingSchoolNEW(11)_1.jpeg


Cover image: via Shutterstock.com

4 Comments

Add a comment


    Related Discussions

    Related Discussions

    Textures Of Intimacy    ♾

    . Textures Of Intimacy ♾ . In the depths of her plea, I hear her call, Her whispers entwined, a siren's thrall. Each syllable dances, igniting the flame, A wild, passionate spark, calling my name. . With every soft murmur, she offers her heart, A canvas for dreams, where our worlds can start. In this sacred exchange, where boundaries dissolve, We plunge into depths, where our spirits evolve. . I, her Daddy Dominant Fiend, stand tall, A guardian of secrets, I heed her enthrall. My voice, a soothing balm, or a tempest unchained, In the fabric of trust, our connection is gained. . Her surrender, a treasure, a gift to behold, In the warmth of my grasp, her essence unfolds. I am the ravenous beast, yet tender and kind, In the dance of our shadows, our souls intertwined. . As our fingers first touched, electric and raw, The universe shifted, as if time withdrew its jaw. Her skin, soft as silk, ignited with fire, Each caress a promise, each glance a desire. . With every heartbeat, I feel her divine, In this realm of submission, her spirit aligns. Her walls gently crumble, as I guide her through, In the depths of her longing, I find something true. . She craves the sweet tension, the thrill of the chase, In the dance of our passion, we find our embrace. Her cries, like music, resonate in my core, A symphony of longing, a primal encore. . In her eyes, I see galaxies, endless and bright, As we navigate darkness, we birth our own light. Her laughter, a melody, that soothes and ignites, In the rhythm of passion, we reach soaring heights. . Her heart on a leash, yet free in my hold, In the warmth of our dynamic, our stories unfold. Each moment a treasure, each sigh a decree, In this beautiful chaos, we flourish, we flee. . We explore the abyss where pleasure meets ***, In the dance of our spirits, we both feel the gain. With respect as our anchor, and limits defined, In the sacred exchange, our souls are aligned. . I watch as she blossoms, a flower in bloom, In the garden of trust, we banish the gloom. With every soft whisper, I guide her anew, In the depths of our feeling, we find what is true. . So let us embrace this intoxicating call, In the vastness of longing, we shatter the wall. In the texture of intimacy, we weave our own fate, In this world of devotion, we carve out our state. . With each breath we share, a universe spins, In the alchemy of passion, our journey begins. Her spirit, my canvas, my heart, her domain, In the depths of our darkness, we dance through the rain. . As we rise from the ashes, reborn in the night, In the embrace of our dynamic, everything feels right. With trust as our compass, and care as our guide, In the essence of this union, we will never hide. . So here in this moment, let the world fade away, In the depths of our ardor, forever we'll stay. In this tapestry woven with threads of our souls, Together we flourish, as each story unfolds. . 🫆 🎩 By: OsPando ✍️ 🫆 😇 Be Nice And Play Nasty 😈 🫆 . 27 Likes· 20 days ago

    Kink Education: Barbie Edition

    Recently started exploring the kink lifestyle and had one of those unexpected lightbulb moments… I heard Aqua’s Barbie Girl again for the first time in years and suddenly thought: “Wait a minute… was Barbie the submissive all along?” Now I’m listening to the lyrics with completely different ears and wondering how I missed the dynamic before. 😹 Either I’ve spent too much time learning about kink recently, or there are a lot more hidden D/s references in mainstream songs than I ever realised. Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s had innocent songs completely ruined… or improved… by discovering kink. 😂 25 Likes 6 Replies· 5 months ago

    Dynamic with no Intimacy

    My Dom and I never have any scenes and we haven't had physical intimacy in over a year despite him having fwb to meet those needs. I states that he has been having difficulty getting into the right headspace for kink play. Is it time to put our exit strategy into action? 176 Likes 58 Replies· 6 months ago

    Managing intimacy differences

    I’m quite new into a dynamic (two-ish weeks in maybe more who knows🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️), and I’m looking for outside perspective because I feel like I’m hitting a fundamental mismatch in experiences and expectations around intimacy. I’ve set three clear boundaries in this dynamic: no cuddling/ intimacy, no kissing, and no associating with or f**king any Subs, just vanilla's. For me, structure around intimacy is very important because I separate emotional/physical intimacy very strongly from sex. Where the difficulty is coming in is specifically around kissing, because we view it very differently. When I say kissing, I am not talking about a peck or casual contact. I am referring specifically to deep, prolonged, passionate kissing with close physical proximity of course including tongue kissing. For me, that level of contact is highly intimate and exclusive. In my experience, I do not engage in that kind of intimacy casually or across multiple people. So the idea of it happening in a sexual context, or potentially happening outside of me in other interactions, creates a strong emotional response for me. It doesn’t feel casual in any way—it feels like a significant emotional marker. I am experienced in BDSM dynamics and have had multiple Doms before, whereas my current Dom, I'm he's first sub experience. From his perspective, kissing is something that IS casual and part of sexual interaction and foreplay, and it does not carry the same weight or exclusivity that it does for me. This difference in interpretation is where I’m struggling, because I am realising we are not attaching the same meaning or boundaries to the same actions. I also want to be honest about my own emotional responses: I know I can experience insecurity and jealousy, and I don’t like the headspace those feelings put me in. Because of that, I tend to structure my boundaries quite firmly so I can avoid situations that trigger those feelings where possible. In terms of the wider dynamic, it is also an open arrangement where both of us are free to engage sexually with other people. My personal approach to that is very direct and simple if it’s sexual, I prefer it to be clear, minimal emotional build-up, and to the point. That is what feels safest and most comfortable for me. Because of that, I find things like prolonged dating-style interaction, going for drinks, extended build-up, or/and romantic-style/ vanilla physical progression uncomfortable for me personally. But That is his natural way of engaging, and i under no circumstances would want to get in the way of the way he gets pussy! Okay, so: How do people navigate completely different definitions of intimacy in Dom/sub dynamics? When one person experiences something as deeply exclusive and the other experiences it as casual, is that usually workable or a sign of incompatibility? And how do I distinguish between adjusting expectations vs trying to fit into something that fundamentally doesn’t align? Any insight would be appreciated, and I’d prefer to keep this thread constructive as I’m being quite open and *** sharing this. 25 Replies· 6 months ago

    BDSM and emotional intimacy

    How do you balance kink with a romantic relationship so neither feels neglected? 40 Likes 13 Replies· 6 months ago