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His strategy..........

Ta****

By Ta****
in BDSM Stories & Kinky Sex Confessions

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Ta****

Ta****

Posted
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He came in fast with "Good morning" texts, long messages, quick calls, promises of a future.
He mirrored my softness, borrowed my language & made me believe he'd finally seen me as I'd always wanted to be seen.
But once my guard was down, once I started asking for more consistency he would disappear, started being "busy".

He didnt fall in love............ he found an audience.

He studied the version of me he knew would melt, the way my eyes would soften when he spoke about ***, the way my heart opened when he said he'd never been truly loved.
He called it connection..................I called it fate.

But it was never love - it was strategy.

He never wanted to love me.
He wanted to be adored by me.
He wanted the version of himself reflected in my admiration.

This took a lot of healing to be able to write this.
Be****

Be****

Posted
Sadly too many men use this strategy to get what they want from us. Not many men want to love anymore. They just want a plaything.

Glad you have healed. And I hope you find a loving man that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. X
ol****

ol****

Posted
Omg gurl your singing to the choir! This has happened soooooooo many times to me. I don't get it. Who the hell has that much time to play like that. It hurt the first couple times but now I kinda expect it. They're not real until I actually meet them and even then the game continues . I've gotten really good at reading men! They all have a commonality when they're doing this. So I play back! Lol chatted with a guy for 11 days knowing it was one of them. My intuition is stellar! Lol
Mo****

Mo****

Posted
I understand this on a deep level. It made me think that true love didn't exist, and relationships and marriage must be endless exceptions and compromises, not magic. I'd like to say I have gotten to the point of seeing men as tools that serve specific purposes. However, I know I am still soft and squishy at my core. Naive and hopeful.
Ta****

Ta****

Posted
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5 minutes ago, lawofentropy said:
You should have strategy as well

I shouldnt have needed to, he should have been honest, he shouldnt have betrayed me like he did

JenNS

JenNS

Posted
2 minutes ago, Tasty_Confession11 said:

I shouldnt have needed to, he should have been honest, he shouldnt have betrayed me like he did

Man really just missed the point you made xp

la****

la****

Posted
I get your point… it’s just that we should be smart with ourselves and our decisions as well…
I don’t want to take out his guilty or responsibility. But if we have strategy as well, we can protect ourselves and find more meaningful relationships.
sw****

sw****

Posted
Profound and well written. But maybe one-sided though? I wonder his perspective. 9 times out of 10 we really don’t know what we are doing/feeling. Calling men narcissistic and manipulative is too often used as a way for women to deflect their part in the dynamic, or at least as a flawed way to heal. That said perhaps he was? In which case good on you for moving on. Either way your prose is powerful and does cause reflection. - thanks for sharing.
Ro****

Ro****

Posted
Sucks to have to encounter and survive manipulative AH, but I am proud of you for sharing your story and getting stronger. The trick to healing is not to get cynical because the good ones are worth the effort.
Se****

Se****

Posted
32 minutes ago, lawofentropy said:

You should have strategy as well

She shouldn’t need to. It isn’t difficult and, as I said to the same man, he’s “a big boy, he ought to use his words” to have an actual conversation. 

Ta****

Ta****

Posted
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12 minutes ago, lawofentropy said:
I get your point… it’s just that we should be smart with ourselves and our decisions as well…
I don’t want to take out his guilty or responsibility. But if we have strategy as well, we can protect ourselves and find more meaningful relationships.

Im not going into details bt after 4 yrs i was owed more than the betrayal & lies so no i shouldnt have needed a strategy as the trust was there, he broke that trust, he caused my heart to break, he's the reason i spent time hurting & questioning myself so no i shouldnt have needed any strategy

Se****

Se****

Posted
12 minutes ago, lawofentropy said:

I get your point… it’s just that we should be smart with ourselves and our decisions as well…
I don’t want to take out his guilty or responsibility. But if we have strategy as well, we can protect ourselves and find more meaningful relationships.

No. We shouldn’t need to be “smart with ourselves” this is the whole damn problem. People ought to just say what they mean/think/want. There are appropriate ways to do it but messing about with someone’s feelings definitely isn’t ok. 

Se****

Se****

Posted
10 minutes ago, swm3642 said:

Profound and well written. But maybe one-sided though? I wonder his perspective. 9 times out of 10 we really don’t know what we are doing/feeling. Calling men narcissistic and manipulative is too often used as a way for women to deflect their part in the dynamic, or at least as a flawed way to heal. That said perhaps he was? In which case good on you for moving on. Either way your prose is powerful and does cause reflection. - thanks for sharing.

It wasn’t mentioned once that this person was narcissistic (even if it was possibly implied), however putting guilt on a person surviving trauma (by saying or implying that they are trying to deflect any part of their responsibility) - because make no mistake that was at the VERY LEAST what this was - is not ok. You’re correct, you don’t know the situation and it is solely a one sided version. That said, I DO know the situation and the parties involved and it is a highly accurate depiction of the person. Unfortunately it is also a highly accurate depiction of far, far too many people.

 

la****

la****

Posted
Then you’re bound to always make the same mistakes…
And so is he, since he doesn’t speak out his feelings.
Relationships are two-way, and personal growth should come from solely ourselves
sw****

sw****

Posted
14 minutes ago, SerendipitousKeeper said:

It wasn’t mentioned once that this person was narcissistic (even if it was possibly implied), however putting guilt on a person surviving trauma (by saying or implying that they are trying to deflect any part of their responsibility) - because make no mistake that was at the VERY LEAST what this was - is not ok. You’re correct, you don’t know the situation and it is solely a one sided version. That said, I DO know the situation and the parties involved and it is a highly accurate depiction of the person. Unfortunately it is also a highly accurate depiction of far, far too many people.

 

Narcissism is defined as a lack of empathy and a compulsive need for admiration. It was completely implied and my point is it is very commonly accused. At any rate heartbreak sucks, this forum hopefully helps. Just because we are ask to consider other perspective does not mean we are guilting, shaming, or saying we disagree - I think this part of self awareness. Sounds like this guy was one of the calculating ones. Glad she has a friend like you to help though. Cheers

ol****

ol****

Posted
44 minutes ago, swm3642 said:
Profound and well written. But maybe one-sided though? I wonder his perspective. 9 times out of 10 we really don’t know what we are doing/feeling. Calling men narcissistic and manipulative is too often used as a way for women to deflect their part in the dynamic, or at least as a flawed way to heal. That said perhaps he was? In which case good on you for moving on. Either way your prose is powerful and does cause reflection. - thanks for sharing.

Of course it's one sided. She's sharing her experience. And you would not believe how many men do this! It's really weird and disturbing. That's why knowing your worth and not being a victim to someone's behavior is so important. This crushes woman's spirits then men wonder why women are how they are, cautious and untrusting.

ca****

ca****

Posted
Umm my past self feels a little called out. I’ve done this in the past. Not knowingly with intention but not knowing what I wanted and just doing what I thought I should do till I knew.
I’ve long since learned it’s better to be harsh upfront
Ta****

Ta****

Posted
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1 hour ago, swm3642 said:
Profound and well written. But maybe one-sided though? I wonder his perspective. 9 times out of 10 we really don’t know what we are doing/feeling. Calling men narcissistic and manipulative is too often used as a way for women to deflect their part in the dynamic, or at least as a flawed way to heal. That said perhaps he was? In which case good on you for moving on. Either way your prose is powerful and does cause reflection. - thanks for sharing.

I never once called him a narcassist or manipulative i stated facts of what he did & the realisation as I'm healing of his actions. I don't hate him but this was a reflection of my healing journey & nothing more

Ta****

Ta****

Posted
  • Author
1 hour ago, RopeLamb said:
Sucks to have to encounter and survive manipulative AH, but I am proud of you for sharing your story and getting stronger. The trick to healing is not to get cynical because the good ones are worth the effort.

It really is & this was in no way about bashing him it was more about the progress i have made in being able to face the reality & how far i have come since it all came crashing down.

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