Sub in the Sheets, Boss in the Streets?

[Deleted Member]

As I embrace my submissive side, I find it sometimes clashes with my high-achieving, professional life outside the dynamic.

What is your best tip for separating your submissive self from your 'real world' identity (work, family, friends) without feeling like you are leading a double life, and how do you transition between those two mindsets effectively?

Seeking advice on mental compartmentalization to maintain balance.

[my****]

Designate an area to switch. A clear delimitation of where you are boss and where you are owned. Maybe it’s a bedroom, maybe it’s the house, maybe it’s your office door.

[lo****]

You can be both. Confident men love a high caliber woman. I like both in bed. I’m mostly a dom but part of that ownership if you wanna call it that is being secure In the relationship to give you the reigns. Or you can see it as we have the control to hand over to you when fit. You can be submissive and still communicate what you want

[Su****]

I'm exactly the same. Tbh it comes quite natural to be submissive only in my sex life. I often remind to myself that whatever happens in the bedroom it's just a game I shall play only with my partner. After that, everything should run as normal, being in charge of my work, families, duties etc

[cum4meSlowly]

You could try wearing a symbolic item like a collar, cuffs and anklets to help get your mind into being submissive when at home.

[In****]

So I'm the same as your title. Very much in control of my life and what happens/goes on. Well what can be controlled lol. With the right person I'm submissive. Then I found the term alpha submissive and realised that was me. Did some research and definitely felt more like I understood me. Cant really help with the mindset side as have no partner so no swapping. Maybe its telling yourself boundaries. If you need to be bossing it but feel like slipping maybe step to the side take some breaths and tell your inner bossy self I need you atm x

[Wh****]

Tbh being submissive to a Strong Dom in my personal life who respects my achievements and is not threatened by my success balances me in professional life. It makes me better in both. I compartmentalize my keeping my professional life professional and my personal life separate. I set boundaries early on that nothing can interfere with my work from my Dom and they respect that request. Then when I’m home I’m free to give up all that control that I carry around at work and just be free.

[fl****]

I’ve found a lot of people who have submissive leaning behind closed doors do so specifically for the reason that they are so driven, ambitious and in charge in their day to day lives that they crave the escape of relinquishing control to their dominant. Not all, but certainly not uncommon

[Curioustopeg]

I'm an engineer so my mind tends to compartmentalise things anyway, so at work, in meetings out and about, I'm me the engineer, father, provider, protector, but behind closed doors, in a scene, I'm a subby p@in slut, until the moment I'm not again. Sorry if that doesn't help, I have know people that use tokens such as cuffs or collars or even just certain clothes that signify the change find what works for you and you will find the strength that allows you to submit makes your RL dominant side stronger more confidant.

[ch****]

Separate your public and private life to some degree. By necessity the person i am at work is far from the person i am when I'm off. It balances my life pretty well

[fe****]

Im a manager where I work, always in charge and always serious, there's no room for play. At home i am also put in charge. That all changes the moment I see my Dom. Im no longer in charge and I can relax. It sometimes does feel like a double life as only one person knows and has seen both sides of me.

[Deleted Member]

That is part of what makes it so hot for me, most of the time I’m the person getting shit done at work, but then I get to be someone’s punching bag and that makes the submissiveness really strong for me.

[Deleted Member]

Here's something I realized that helped me understand myself better. I'm a boss. I work hard and get things done because I want certain things for myself and I'm unafraid to get them. You're looking at submission as an act, but ignore that for a second. Step back from what you're doing and focus on WHY you're doing it. You're submitting because you love it. It feels good and you want it. It's no different than working hard and taking what you want in your day-to-day life. You're not submitting to someone against your will, so it's a service to yourself as much as it's a service to them. Maybe even more! You don't have to compartmentalize anything, imo. You may behave differently in different contexts, but the motivation is the same in either case.

[Charms]

I have ocd and im very in control of everything in my day to day life . Being submissive and having a master helps me unwind I don't evne have to think its so refreshing . I know as soon as I  step threw the doors to masters home im free. 

[Deleted Member]

It’s good for the soul to be able to let some one else take over, well it is for me any way, no responsibility, not having to think just do as I’m told for a few hours I’m not the boss I feel free lol being punished being put in my place nothing makes me feel better it’s like therapy, no stress no important decisions just yes sir, and its of a sexual nature so what I do is nothing to do with family or friends it’s private I’ve never felt like it’s something I need to separate it’s just who I am in the bed room. My problem is I’m really good at understanding peoples weaknesses and what makes them tick understanding them and if I find weakness in a dominant it puts me off them, I have a very dominant personality

[gr****]

This isnt uncommon, some powerful people really enjoy submitting to a partner, it allows them to turn off and relax.

[fo****]

This is very common. I’m like this as well. I have so much responsibility and leadership in my everyday life that I seek the opposite in partners/relationships. I need that break.

[je****]

I am the same and agree with a lot of what others have said. I know for me I am in control of everything in my life and make sure everything runs smoothly. The term Alpha sub has also been used as another person mentioned. I want to give up that control but am only willing to do it in a scene or the bedroom. That being said there is still that part of me that knows even though I am willingly fully submitting I still have some control because if I use a safe word it stops or whatever we have determined that specific safe word means happens.

[Deleted Member]

Friday at 01:51 PM, Whiskeybandit49 said:

Tbh being submissive to a Strong Dom in my personal life who respects my achievements and is not threatened by my success balances me in professional life. It makes me better in both. I compartmentalize my keeping my professional life professional and my personal life separate. I set boundaries early on that nothing can interfere with my work from my Dom and they respect that request. Then when I’m home I’m free to give up all that control that I carry around at work and just be free.

Perfect. As it should be ! A power woman who works /with her partner to built up something great for the future and at home enjoys her life. I like it.

[ma****]

I find it very hard to be on these sites too as a business professional and public figure but sometimes we got to do what we got to do!

[to****]

Great question! I'm working on that myself. Can't wait to read the responses.

[to****]

All the comments is giving me more questions than answers lol. I'm more of a second in command. I don't want to be noticed but I control most things that go on however I give the credit to others. However I'm verbally dominant and aggressive in my day to day. Pretty good at compartmentalized. Just don't when feel the same when im wearing panties and lingerie. I feel like I want to be submissive cause I feel feminine and want to be treated as such. The problem is when I start getting active I can't figure out how not to be so verbally aggressive cause I end up taking over control. Then I feel silly because I'm just a masculine guy wearing panties and lingerie. It's just weird to me. How can someone find that thing to make ones submit I'm glad I read your comments and the question is on the top of my list. Thanks

[Ki****]

Most people relax at home or with a partner. How is kink that much different? I have many things private.