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Where's the effort?

Ny****

By Ny****
in Kink Academy

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Ny****

Ny****

Posted
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I'm aware this place is full of/made for horndogs...but cmon...you guys can do better than starting with "wanna see my dong?", "what're you wearing," etc...and get impatient if i don't reply within the hour at most and demand I talk to them... I havent heard from any women yet sadly (I am bi/pan)...but most men I am meeting on here so far are reminding me why I havent done the deed with a man/anyone in years...
Oc****

Oc****

Posted
I'm getting the same, and it sucks that you're so far away. I'm nonbinary, but I'm pretty femme and am afab. I put in the effort and expect the same back, but these men have been such disappointments.
qu****

qu****

Posted
You’re making a fair point. There’s a big difference between being open about desire and leading with zero effort or respect. A little curiosity, conversation, or even humor goes a long way. It’s wild how many people forget that chemistry usually starts in the mind. Sorry your experience here’s been like that so far — sounds like you’re just asking for some basic connection before the rest, which shouldn’t be too much to ask.
Ad****

Ad****

Posted
I can't seem to get any responses with being polite with a first message soo....
Bb****

Bb****

Posted
Girl I totally agree with this. The men in this dating era have all completely stopped putting in any effort.
na****

na****

Posted
Probably the desperation, man have been sidelined and supposed to be cucks or pleasers subs to woman so they haven't got much action since woman pick the same top 10% of man so it's more gooning trolling without caring for effort cuz that gets you nowhere as a man
Si****

Si****

Posted
Hello, I agree! Honestly this does go both ways. SO many fake profiles.....ughh
Oldbutgood

Oldbutgood

Posted
There's a lot of fake people on here and I apologize for them. For the most part when I start talking to a young lady, unless I'm responding to something specific in her bio. I just try to be polite and pleasant until she shows me that she wants me to be a little bit more spicy. Then I'll flirt a little bit. And then take it from there. I try to start off like a gentleman and treating her like a lady. There are few young ladies that have gotten upset that I didn't start off sounding like a egotistical person who thought they should be my slave or whatever?. But for the most part, people seem to be more receptive when your white and pleasant until it's time to be naughty.
do****

do****

Posted
I mean, you at least have to try with some talk and figure out what they are into
en****

en****

Posted
Seems to be the sentiment from the people I've met up with 3 people for FWB or casually chatting with people. They tell me the horror stories, probably by the same 90 guys on Fet who are relentlessly harassing women with weird shit about antennas in their assholes.

It would be funny if it weren't so cringe.
Ir****

Ir****

Posted
I cannot speak for the women, bi, trans and non-binary but As a man, I hear this story all too often across all apps. As a gender we need to do better. And to be perfectly blunt about it, it seems that it’s a mostly men problem and we’re only hurting ourselves and our fellow man behind us. If we can treat women better, have better manners, better pickup lines and a lot more fucking class, then women would probably be more comfortable, able to feel safer, and in turn probably be hornier or more willing to share their bodies with you. This abandonment of the Campsite Rule is a travesty and saddens me deeply. If you don’t know, “leave the place better than you left it”.
This use and *** mentality has to stop. (Unless that’s you’re kink, fair play)

And if you guys and gals can’t figure it out or don’t know what to say or how to put in the effort, I am always available for a DM discussion for what has worked very well for me in the past.

Please stay safe out there brothers and ***s of kink. Be kind. Be sexy. 😘

na****

na****

Posted
What's a good opening?let's have a universal opening for socially challenged people
Ar****

Ar****

Posted
13 minutes ago, naples851 said:
Probably the desperation, man have been sidelined and supposed to be cucks or pleasers subs to woman so they haven't got much action since woman pick the same top 10% of man so it's more gooning trolling without caring for effort cuz that gets you nowhere as a man

It’s almost as if men should make an effort for their partner beyond themselves.

na****

na****

Posted
What partner?you do know most man are single and haven't had a partner. The younger and older you go from 30 the most noticeable it becomes
en****

en****

Posted
30 minutes ago, Adam1984 said:

I can't seem to get any responses with being polite with a first message soo....

It's the same rules as Hinge, give the woman the opportunity for an open ended response. Even something as basic as 'have you been to any parties as of recent?', 'your makeup routine is divine, tell me what you did!' or even hell 'omg whats ur favorite anime' will be more likely to pull a response. The reason why alot of people don't log back in is because its so bad on here, me and them continue the discussion off platform.

Curiously_Exploring

Curiously_Exploring

Posted
I hear you!
I have always had friends in the kink scene, long before I started to develop my own interest in kink. Everyone I have ever known who's genuinely into the scene has been polite, well aware of how kink doesn't even have to be sexual, and 100% focused on consent.
You get people joining here who just think that it's a free flesh market, who haven't done their homework first, and they're awful.

I've found that being very specific on my profile, and setting message filters, has helped weed out a lot of them. But we shouldn't have to endure this.
fo****

fo****

Posted
I completely agree. I’m getting really tired of seeing it too. There isn’t any communication about contracts. There isn’t communication on how to help subs feel safe. I don’t think most of the ‘Doms’ on here even know what subspace is or realize the level of *** you are expecting to be someone when you are ‘submissive’.

Gentlemen. Maybe not for you, but when a woman has sex, she is in an extremely *** position. Expecting her to want to be in that position immediately shows how little you understand or care. If you want to throw kink into it, that’s EVEN MORE ***! Example: you want me to be tied up by a complete stranger so I can’t move while you have complete access to my body and we have just met?? WHAT?!

You need to focus on learning about and worshipping your subs before anything else. Dates. All the dates. Then minor scenes (training scenes). Check for their colors OFTEN. Fuck practice checking for their color when you are on the date!

I could go on and on.
No****

No****

Posted
That makes things a little more clear.
I have always wondered why women join a group designed to meet people and then hide behind walls/refuse to meet.
I still think the majority of women here have no intention of meeting, they are here simply for the online attention.
I think a full grown woman’s mind is capable of quickly distinguishing between a creep hiding behind an online identity/anonymity and a regular man who was married and raised his own *** who would like to get to know her over tacos at midday in a public place.
So thanks to the ***er for ruining it for all of us and my advice to the women is be honest about why you are really here.
Ar****

Ar****

Posted
12 minutes ago, naples851 said:
What partner?you do know most man are single and haven't had a partner. The younger and older you go from 30 the most noticeable it becomes

It doesn’t excuse abrasive behavior.

Ar****

Ar****

Posted
5 minutes ago, NorCal_Mav said:
That makes things a little more clear.
I have always wondered why women join a group designed to meet people and then hide behind walls/refuse to meet.
I still think the majority of women here have no intention of meeting, they are here simply for the online attention.
I think a full grown woman’s mind is capable of quickly distinguishing between a creep hiding behind an online identity/anonymity and a regular man who was married and raised his own *** who would like to get to know her over tacos at midday in a public place.
So thanks to the ***er for ruining it for all of us and my advice to the women is be honest about why you are really here.

My profile is incredibly clear, I simply don’t answer harassment or abusive messages.

Bo****

Bo****

Posted
At the same time I lost track of how many woman ghost me for approaching with respect years ago.

Deleted Member

Posted
I hear your frustration. There is absolutely nothing less attractive than a man who assumes that just because we're single and kinky, that we're just a piece of ass for a night or inspiration for a lonely hand job. I want my mind engaged and then my body follows. Good luck to you!
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