Where's the effort?

[Curiously_Exploring]

38 minutes ago, IrishPride9 said:

I cannot speak for the women, bi, trans and non-binary but As a man, I hear this story all too often across all apps. As a gender we need to do better. And to be perfectly blunt about it, it seems that it’s a mostly men problem and we’re only hurting ourselves and our fellow man behind us. If we can treat women better, have better manners, better pickup lines and a lot more fucking class, then women would probably be more comfortable, able to feel safer, and in turn probably be hornier or more willing to share their bodies with you. This abandonment of the Campsite Rule is a travesty and saddens me deeply. If you don’t know, “leave the place better than you left it”.
This use and *** mentality has to stop. (Unless that’s you’re kink, fair play)

And if you guys and gals can’t figure it out or don’t know what to say or how to put in the effort, I am always available for a DM discussion for what has worked very well for me in the past.

Please stay safe out there brothers and ***s of kink. Be kind. Be sexy. 😘

Absolutely.
Ultimately, feminism benefits everyone.
Until women feel safe and respected in society, we always have to keep our guard up.

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, naples851 said:

What partner?you do know most man are single and haven't had a partner. The younger and older you go from 30 the most noticeable it becomes

That's just incompetence. Come on - men aren't excused from being polite and human because they haven't had a partner!

[Ar****]

Sad to say I can't see much changing at this point. It didn't used to be like this, but with the advent of the app and the way Fet has since been marketed the floodgates have been opened to said "horndogs". There seems no stopping them now 😔

[Deleted Member]

I've been here a few months, I've had a mix of pleasant messages and rude ones - I'd say 60/40 in favour of polite approaches. To which I reply. And it is no different from any other app or site I've been on. Men who send a first polite message are making an effort. One that most women don't mirror because the majority of women won't initiate contact. I don't.

[Luna16]

My profile days im not sexually interested in men in like, 3 places and I still get helllaaaa creepy messages. Its the hardware CNC b3@t fantasy messages, like, your first message shouldn't be that in depth and intense, especially is someone says there a victim in there profile. I feel like a lot of problems would be fixed if people READ PROFILES BRFORE MESSAGING SOMEONE

[Ro****]

Unfortunately statistically speaking it’s bound to work at least once. Albeit it’s more or less just a blatant showing of how low the bar many men have set for the rest of us. Sucks because a lot of us are worried about coming off as that guy while there are guys acting like this is appropriate.

[be****]

Dudes on these sites are on here looking for an easy piece of ass and most women are on here needing something completely different. The disconnect is astronomical. Have a conversation, get intentions, be polite, not sure why that’s difficult

[Ia****]

43 minutes ago, ArtistandNymph said:

My profile is incredibly clear, I simply don’t answer harassment or abusive messages.

I will never in my life understand why guys think it's okay to be * gross. Like how has that *ever* worked out for literally any of them? But that is a good idea don't feed the gross degenerates.

[Ia****]

44 minutes ago, NorCal_Mav said:

That makes things a little more clear.
I have always wondered why women join a group designed to meet people and then hide behind walls/refuse to meet.
I still think the majority of women here have no intention of meeting, they are here simply for the online attention.
I think a full grown woman’s mind is capable of quickly distinguishing between a creep hiding behind an online identity/anonymity and a regular man who was married and raised his own *** who would like to get to know her over tacos at midday in a public place.
So thanks to the ***er for ruining it for all of us and my advice to the women is be honest about why you are really here.

They're either here simply for the attention, to shill their OF, or are actually guys. I do agree that the majority of men are fucking disgusting degenerates.

[Deleted Member]

Nymphs nymph... nice username. Do you want to say something with it? Why not librarian.. you get messages from guys with kinks on a horny app. Ok..understand. Is It not as you get on a cooking app a recipe for meat and complain you are a vegan? Not right..Oh, this is unfair, this is already mansplaining??? Sorry. But men are men. And men behave like men. If you don't like their behavior and expect to find a tamed dog with good manners then it is something you should write under hard limits.

[Ch****]

29 minutes ago, fififufu said:

I've been here a few months, I've had a mix of pleasant messages and rude ones - I'd say 60/40 in favour of polite approaches. To which I reply. And it is no different from any other app or site I've been on. Men who send a first polite message are making an effort. One that most women don't mirror because the majority of women won't initiate contact. I don't.

Most times I don't either, and I suppose it's not entirely fair. I don't simply because in my mind, if they were interested, they'd reach out. I'm not a huge fan of rejection or feeling like I'm bothering someone. If I'm really intrigued by a profile or picture, I will drop a note just saying hi. Opening the door a bit.

[Ro****]

16 minutes ago, beaumont868648 said:

Dudes on these sites are on here looking for an easy piece of ass and most women are on here needing something completely different. The disconnect is astronomical. Have a conversation, get intentions, be polite, not sure why that’s difficult

We both know unfortunately that many males are not men they’re stuck in an immature ***age mindset in a grown ass body :/

[na****]

Isn't the number one book of kinks for woman about a monster * her?

[sp****]

I can also see that theres alot of woman on here that cant say hello back. It definitely sucks when you want to have a conversation with someone and you get nothing. A simple answer to tell a person something is nice too.

[Mi****]

It's annoying. Getting ghosted because you don't instantly jump to their demands to send pics despite being willing to play/hookup IRL. Like are they just here to gather nudes but not find IRL play partners??? Sure we're all freaks but show some respect

[ba****]

I'm with u on this one girly. I often receive unsolicited dick pics,then again its men were dealing with. Don't be afraid to reach out to other women though.

[da****]

This has been backed up by a lot of the women I've talked to on here but also I'll say that there's a lot of guys that do send Pleasant meaningful messages that are completely ignored, or read but no response...this is what its become.

[da****]

A lot of the nice gentlemanly messages are just ignored so

[Deleted Member]

Yea… what are we measuring as effort??because you can be a gentlemen ask how’s your day going and try get to know someone… be patient be left on unread for days and still continue to put in effort and your perceived as a creep… or a woman will string along for a little bit for some attention and will ghost you afterwards… If women are going make all these demands for men putting in effort on any scene rather it’s in the kink world or dating… where do women put in there efforts??? sometimes it feels very double standard…

[JJ****]

As a guy messaging a woman on this app, it's also hard.... BECAUSE OF GUYS LIKE THIS! I have no ill intent for anyone, but since women are dealing with assholes like this on a daily basis, the ones who aren't trying to be assholes often get ghosted or deleted too. It can suck all around, apparently.

[Se****]

We are not all like that though. I am more patient than most. Me being a hunter, I can wait patiently for my prey.

Edited November 8, 2025 by FETMod-HG
deleted proposition

[bi****]

It's a catch 22. Most women do not want a simple hi or hello to start a chat. The amount of profiles I've seen that say they want engaging conversation, not a "how was your day" is very high as well. But it's very tough for a respectful male to open a conversation with someone that they do not know and not come across as rude or crass. This is part of the problem with online sites in general. There are more men on these than women, and the women get bombarded with messages. They get overwhelmed and many times the "actually good guy" slips through the cracks. Women, please tell me if there is a better way to get someones attention while sending an introductory message.

[Vt****]

I totally agree! I am very clear on my profile what I am looking for and still get constant messages either asking for something I stated I'm not into, or men just looking for an easy lay by claiming to be 'experienced BDSM kinksters'. I'm sorry, liking anal sex, blowjobs and slightly rough sex is NOT EXPERIENCED BDSM. Be honest about who you are, what you're looking for and what you have to offer!! stop trying to kink catfish us by making yourself out to be what you aren't just to try to get laid!!

[Is****]

I’m a man, I have deep and delicate desires for connection and comfort and I love to be emotionally trusted and supportive. It not just about my D It’s important and that doesn’t make me a pig and I have feelings and vulnerabilities and ***s and that doesn’t make me a child or weak. No one wins here.

[ja****]

Bwahahahaha