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Where's the effort?

Ny****

By Ny****
in Kink Academy

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Deleted Member

Posted
I can't get anyone to talk to me on here. They just read it and that's it. But then when you do talk to someone they want you to do all the work to keep the conversation going
Ny****

Ny****

Posted
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2 hours ago, omaha28774 said:
Nymphs nymph... nice username. Do you want to say something with it? Why not librarian.. you get messages from guys with kinks on a horny app. Ok..understand. Is It not as you get on a cooking app a recipe for meat and complain you are a vegan? Not right..Oh, this is unfair, this is already mansplaining??? Sorry. But men are men. And men behave like men. If you don't like their behavior and expect to find a tamed dog with good manners then it is something you should write under hard limits.

"Men are men" is the lamest excuse "men" use to justify their trashy behavior... If its that hard to show an ounce of respect for women maybe you and the other "men" should do some self reflection before trying to get laid...just saying🤷‍♀️

Ma****

Ma****

Posted
I’d love to see statistics on when, if ever, that approach is successful. I can’t imagine it’s very effective. But what do I know?
Ar****

Ar****

Posted
4 hours ago, omaha28774 said:
Nymphs nymph... nice username. Do you want to say something with it? Why not librarian.. you get messages from guys with kinks on a horny app. Ok..understand. Is It not as you get on a cooking app a recipe for meat and complain you are a vegan? Not right..Oh, this is unfair, this is already mansplaining??? Sorry. But men are men. And men behave like men. If you don't like their behavior and expect to find a tamed dog with good manners then it is something you should write under hard limits.

“Guys I’ve been getting harassed in my inbox” “men are men sweetie, get over it.” 🚩

Deleted Member

Posted
4 hours ago, omaha28774 said:
Nymphs nymph... nice username. Do you want to say something with it? Why not librarian.. you get messages from guys with kinks on a horny app. Ok..understand. Is It not as you get on a cooking app a recipe for meat and complain you are a vegan? Not right..Oh, this is unfair, this is already mansplaining??? Sorry. But men are men. And men behave like men. If you don't like their behavior and expect to find a tamed dog with good manners then it is something you should write under hard limits.

Was expecting this. So because women join a kink site because they're (duh) interested in BDSM, they have to accept disgusting messages from men.

Has it occurred to you that if this continues more and more women will just leave and you won't have anyone left to send the revolting messages to?

Deleted Member

Posted
3 hours ago, kingT36 said:
Yea… what are we measuring as effort??because you can be a gentlemen ask how’s your day going and try get to know someone… be patient be left on unread for days and still continue to put in effort and your perceived as a creep… or a woman will string along for a little bit for some attention and will ghost you afterwards… If women are going make all these demands for men putting in effort on any scene rather it’s in the kink world or dating… where do women put in there efforts??? sometimes it feels very double standard…

"All these demands" - really? It's too much to expect grown ass men to not send gruesome messages?

Ca****

Ca****

Posted
IMHO..I agree but then it's just the way it is for my kind of people. The vanilla dating world is the same once they know you have more kinks than a chain link fence. I can only do be very upfront about my requirements for respectful dialog and I'm very proactive about setting boundaries early. It's been moderately peaceful since I put multiple warning signs on my profile how bs won't be tolerated.
Ma****

Ma****

Posted
2 hours ago, killiney226186 said:
Im the complete gentleman

No, I am. 😊

PL****

PL****

Posted
I have met a few men in which we can have a meeting of the minds. My issue is their distance from my own. However, most I have met have been negative interactions sooner rather then later. But now my red flags are even on my page if you look, soooo.....Don't be a red flag, hahaha!
Ca****

Ca****

Posted
12 minutes ago, PLEASEandTEASEme said:
I have met a few men in which we can have a meeting of the minds. My issue is their distance from my own. However, most I have met have been negative interactions sooner rather then later. But now my red flags are even on my page if you look, soooo.....Don't be a red flag, hahaha!

My mama says I charge into red flags like a bull from Pamplona 😅. I try to warn as well

ph****

ph****

Posted
Do the community a favor and blast them in the main lobby. 👍
Post the cringe and maybe they will realize that there's a difference between an asshole and a dom
PL****

PL****

Posted
35 minutes ago, phillipsburg569663 said:
Do the community a favor and blast them in the main lobby. 👍
Post the cringe and maybe they will realize that there's a difference between an asshole and a dom

Idk if blasting someone or publicly shaming anyone solves the problem. By blasting someone, don't we then invite negative comments and possibly worse? Instead, I often give them a few lines, (My piece of mind) on how I would respond had they not been cringy.

FETMod-HG

FETMod-HG

Posted
49 minutes ago, phillipsburg569663 said:

Do the community a favor and blast them in the main lobby. 👍
Post the cringe and maybe they will realize that there's a difference between an asshole and a dom

In reality you'd then be liable for slanderous comments, as you would if outing someone on social media, and receive a warning for it.  If someone does something wrong in Fet, use the report function to report them to the support centre. If it is outside Fet then you need to deal with it outside the website/app.

mo****

mo****

Posted
That's why I like the IDEA of something like OkCupid. But I heard it's full of bots and scammed. It's hard out here, man. All I can say is I'm staying patient, I'm in it for the long game, I don't view this as the end all be all, just an area I can use amongst a sea of others.
9i****

9i****

Posted
That’s just bad luck or maybe it’s what you’re attracting. Have patience. You can’t expect to find anything good easily
ma****

ma****

Posted
You gotta look past Dong lol you’ll see the rest of this when ya looking in right
Th****

Th****

Posted

Well yeah but we can play the blame game all day. Why cant women try being a bit more *** in text instead of giving one word answers. I dont mean "Hey how are you". I mean if we ask you something specific like "Would you rather never use toilet paper or vote for trump once?" Im messing around, but you get it

ro****

ro****

Posted
Think of it this way. Those guys are giving you everything you need to know in the first message or two. Easy to block them and move on.
There is a few of us out there that put love over lust
ju****

ju****

Posted
I just made and account yesterday and its all I have seen already 🙃

Deleted Member

Posted
10 hours ago, 9inchesofun said:
That’s just bad luck or maybe it’s what you’re attracting. Have patience. You can’t expect to find anything good easily

Have you noticed that the other women in the thread are all saying the same thing? How is it "bad luck" that men send disgusting messages? Please explain. How do women "attract" dick pics? You've put the blame on women instead of the people who are acting badly - (some) men. Excusing and minimising bad behaviour is also bad behaviour.

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