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Where's the effort?

Ny****

By Ny****
in Kink Academy

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Deleted Member

Posted
6 hours ago, The2ndEngineer said:

Well yeah but we can play the blame game all day. Why cant women try being a bit more *** in text instead of giving one word answers. I dont mean "Hey how are you". I mean if we ask you something specific like "Would you rather never use toilet paper or vote for trump once?" Im messing around, but you get it

If women get better at messaging - does that men will stop sending disgusting messages? All you've done is turned a thread about male behaviour into one about female behaviour. Start another thread.

qu****

qu****

Posted
There are real guys out here ! … on my end , as a guy, I’ve been dealing w so many scammers/ fake accounts .
Da****

Da****

Posted
A lot of people see this place as a place to talk nasty and find "hoes/easy" people.
No****

No****

Posted
Yesterday at 02:28 PM, Chaoticnerd said:
I hear your frustration. There is absolutely nothing less attractive than a man who assumes that just because we're single and kinky, that we're just a piece of ass for a night or inspiration for a lonely hand job. I want my mind engaged and then my body follows. Good luck to you!

That is not what I am talking about at all.
I read profiles, and reach out with a greeting and something unique to that person that shows I read the profile.
Usually there is no response at all. When there is I attempt to converse and receive only one to three word replies every twelve hours or so.
Why doesn’t a woman have any responsibility to engage my mind? Many seem to think they did enough by showing up.

Ma****

Ma****

Posted
I find it interesting that some of the women on here are saying men don’t put forth any effort on here. My main issue with any dating site here lately is that you have to spend extra *** to send gifts in order to even try to get some of your attention. That’s effort. You were expecting the guys who are nice genuine and real gangsters to have to spend extra *** so you have to wave through fewer unwanted messages. I’m curious just asking for the gifts or whatever silly thing that site has actually improved a guy’s chances with any of you? Does it prove he’s willing to spend *** on you? And if you are looking for females, then you’re asking them to do the same. I always send polite messages. Most of the time I go through and mention things from their profile or their likes or their interests and get no response.

To be honest what I have most success with is just saying hello.

From talking to some of my female friends who also have profiles on here, you guys don’t have to deal with as many fake or spam accounts AS the guys do. Online dating is like dating in real life. It’s all a shit show when we’re just doing the best we can.
th****

th****

Posted
Really depends on what you're looking for long-term, unfortunately a lot of people are not looking for long-term relationship adjust NSA that really should be where people look first. And I agree with you talking with people is a question by question. Unfortunately when you are like that you either are talking to somebody who asks for ***, And those who are looking for NSA don't want to get to know a person personally in my opinion
No****

No****

Posted
6 hours ago, fififufu said:

If women get better at messaging - does that men will stop sending disgusting messages? All you've done is turned a thread about male behaviour into one about female behaviour. Start another thread.

Everyone is for free s***ch until you say something they didn’t want to hear.

Deleted Member

Posted
2 hours ago, NorCal_Mav said:

Everyone is for free s***ch until you say something they didn’t want to hear.

Start another thread about your topic. I will be happy to contribute.

Deleted Member

Posted
6 hours ago, ThinkingPerson said:
You have no idea how burned out and traumatised men are rn

Start a thread about your topic. I'm sure plenty of people will add comments.

T-****

T-****

Posted
Out of line, some people’s ***. Kink friendly doesn’t mean there is no consideration or rules. Guys like that give us a bad name……

So, want to see my dong?
li****

li****

Posted
I’m new here and first impressions are: the message volume is high and it’s impossible to respond to everyone, especially if I’m trying to converse with someone else back and forth. I’m not always going to turn down offer of some spicy pics lol but that’s me. I appreciate when people are straight forward in the message . I don’t like cheesy pick up lines, but that’s just me. We all flirt in different ways. If someone says something strange that scares me, I just block them. It’s pretty simple
th****

th****

Posted
You shadow you talk about the passion being gone, passions like the first time you do something or the second or the third... But it's all usually with the same subject the problem is is after a while you get dull from overuse and they're not being any really substantial foundation keep the spark alive. It's like woodworking, if you have a passion for making ornaments for Christmas tree because you like to see how people's face will light up when they see it, the passion for creation just for a specific person is what made it special in the first place. But if you have to do that same thing for a job it becomes dull and boring repetitive I think is a word I'm looking for. Sparking passion again means a little bit more spontaneity. The same thing happens with other subject matters doing it for 30 years especially with multiple people it becomes boring, don't get me wrong it still feels good but what are you actually basing it on what are you actually tying it to bring out the passion. My opinion my thoughts
be****

be****

Posted
We are all here because we're horny, , and I don't care if it's a hard cock or a girl with a strap on

Deleted Member

Posted
So far on this thread I've seen men minimise women being sent rude introductory messages for the following reasons:
"too guarded"
men are "burned out and traumatised" "bad luck"
"it's what you're attracting"
"I never get the chance to"
"I can't get anyone to talk to me" "bwahahahaha"
"a lot of the nice gentlemanly messages are ignored so"
"men are men"
"I lost track of how many women ghost me"
"probably the desperation, men have been sidelined"
"I can't seem to get any responses with being polite with a first message soo..."
I've just received yer another long message detailing what a stranger to me would do to me s*xually. A LOT of detail. What's the reason? How will you minimise it?
I very much appreciate ALL the men who have called out this behaviour. It is not all men.
ja****

ja****

Posted
No offense but I guarantee you that guys have written you long thoughtful emails and you've ignored them. And at some point this trains guys not to put in effort
ja****

ja****

Posted
Yesterday at 02:42 AM, plankerton said:
Yeah it seems counter intuitive really like at least have a personality

Yeah but the women that complain about emails and effort almost never have an interesting profile themselves. 90% of the profiles on here is literally just High I'm looking to learn or something like that and that's it

Deleted Member

Posted
33 minutes ago, jaxboro58399 said:
No offense but I guarantee you that guys have written you long thoughtful emails and you've ignored them. And at some point this trains guys not to put in effort

Fine. Does that mean we have to put up with rude nasty messages? Did you even read what the OP wrote?

Deleted Member

Posted
33 minutes ago, jaxboro58399 said:

Yeah but the women that complain about emails and effort almost never have an interesting profile themselves. 90% of the profiles on here is literally just High I'm looking to learn or something like that and that's it

Your profile ain't that exciting tbh

Ropestone

Ropestone

Posted
On 11/8/2025 at 1:44 PM, KeziKarma said:

I had someone message me saying “I would love to kidnap you”. That’s it. That’s the opener lol

😳?? While one cannot, in all honesty, quibble with that person's taste - they clearly haven't studied Your profile at all!

Took one look at Your wonderful picture - leapt effortlessly to the wrongest conclusion possible. No attempt to engage with You as a human being..

Sigh...

La****

La****

Posted
How hard is it to take a minute or two to read someone's profile before sending them a message??? I've had my account for not even 48 hours and of the nearly 50 messages or so I've received, only a very small percentage of them have actually read my profile and understand that I don't want to be a kink-dispenser (honestly, who does?). The ironic thing is that I see so many people complaining about not getting responses to their messages. You can't send thirsty messages just wanting people to be your kink dispenser and expect to get a favorable response.
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