Trying to find online mistress

[Csub561]

Im new to this and wanna be dominated by a woman if anybody could give me any advice on how to get an online mistress that would be very helpful. Im open to try just about anything 

[Deleted Member]

I've talked with a few claiming to be mistresses. They start off giving you tasks and video yourself doing them. After a couple they will either say you need to buy sex toys to use for the meeting which will cost several hundred pound or start asking for you to buy them things. If you refuse they threaten to put the videos online if you don't pay. So you have been warned

[ey****]

first tip - always be wary of anything that seems to happen too easily.

It's actually not too difficult to find somebody - but if someone pops up in your inbox "hey, I'll be your Mistress" with, well, a minimum of effort on your part - I would be a little skeptical.

So, if that happens - do some research into them : check their profile holds up - and maybe don't dive straight into D/s play, because, as above - suddenly sending pictures and videos to strangers, yeah, there's a risk attached.

Like a lot of things, it has to be two way : and there's this disbelief there are women sitting around bored waiting for horny men to entertain them.  On a site like this, you can take some time to get to know people (use the chat!) but don't be like "hey, I'm new - who wants to be my Mistress?" talk to people for a bit and see what happens.  But, building a relationship can take time.

An option via a paid route can be a little easier, it's often easier to find someone who is looking for online subs in exchange for a payment - of course a lot of guys scoff at this : but it does require a lot less time and effort.

[ey****]

and yeah, if anyone wants you to see them sex toys "for our meeting" they're not going to meet you.  Because if they were there'd be no reason why the toys couldn't be delivered to you and you hand them over in person.

[ScreamHubbaHubba]

The big problem is that too many people are usually in too much hurry to fact check.  I have to say it is not so difficult to tell a fake

[Deleted Member]

I've only been looking for a couple of weeks and you can easily spot them now. I'm still looking haven't found the one yet 

[ey****]

well, after two whole weeks I'm surprised you haven't had your pick of the bunch  hehehe

[ey****]

sorry, but - aye - treat this as a long game, it's a lifestyle not something to dip out of.  Things will happen but it needs time, patience and effort

[DominatrixGoddessV]

Hi in a Domination And Submission and what I do best 

[Deleted Member]

On 2/16/2018 at 1:28 AM, swalesguy72 said:

I've talked with a few claiming to be mistresses. They start off giving you tasks and video yourself doing them. After a couple they will either say you need to buy sex toys to use for the meeting which will cost several hundred pound or start asking for you to buy them things. If you refuse they threaten to put the videos online if you don't pay. So you have been warned

Very useful Info thanks swaleguy

[Deleted Member]

I Also find it difficult to find Mistress. I would like to meet them in person. However, they ask me for my email and ask me personal questions then ask for tasks.

I am not aiming for pro-domme. I deal case for me is to first meet that lady. get dominated be friends with her meet her on regular bases and If we both like each other move for LTR.

It's really hard.

[ey****]

Right - first off... if you're talking to someone online and they're asking for info or tasks or anything like that - you've got to calculate risk : and this is a two way thing.  Whilst you have to be cautious on who you meet, so does she.  So, she may well be doing some basic vetting.

For me, this is simple - if you want to meet people then go where the people are.  Sometimes, this can be difficult on a location by location basis, but if you live in/near London there's absolutely no excuse - there's more munches, events, workshops, etc each week/end than you can shake a stick at.

When you turn up to said munch - people can see you are someone who is likely to actually meet people and you can, well, meet people.  Whilst it's not a hook-up event it's the easiest way to meet up with people on a regular basis - as you seek - and then play with people if/as/when trust builds.

[Deleted Member]

@eyemblacksheep thanks for the advice.

[queensugarberry]

@eyemblacksheepcouldn't have said it better!  Nice stuff

[SignoraAlessia]

It is very hard to find a good partner in this fetish. Just like it is hard to find a good partner for anything in life.
Never get yourself into a position where you might get blackmailed (unless you are into that kind of stuff and even then look for someone who has a lot of experience and is honest while doing so) and set up ground rules with your mistress to be.
If a mistress wants to rule right from the start (no questions asked) it is quite strange.
Also if a slave just does what you want and best of all tells you that he has no taboos or limits its not a good sign .

[Deleted Member]

Respectfully why would it be strange to openly admit you have no boundaries or at least willing to push those boundaries.

[SignoraAlessia]

Everyone has boundaries. Even if its the obvious ones like no children or family involvement. For someone to admit to have no boundaries is either a person who lies to themselves or someone who is a truly sick individual that I do not want to have anything to do with.
There is nothing wrong with pushing boundaries especially when it comes to domination or humiliation or even pain.
But there have to be certain limitations to every game.

[ey****]

16 minutes ago, TAINTEDLOVE941 said:

Respectfully why would it be strange to openly admit you have no boundaries or at least willing to push those boundaries.

Because "I have no limits" is a lie.

 

It also comes across as being desperate for anything

 

And, makes it difficult to find a common strength.

 

There's Ladies I know whom enjoy activities more if it's the guys favourite.

Obviously there still has to be an agreement to play, etc.

 

Any form of "I'll do anything" doesn't really clear what you like.

 

But, also.

 

"I'll do anything"

OK, sell your house and give the lady all the money.

Eat nothing but your own recycled shit.

Take a taser to your balls. (actually, I know one guy *would* do that)

 

As for pushing on boundaries.

This can be a good thing.  But, this should never be the default position because you're immediately looking to chip away at consent and that's not healthy.

 

I don't mind pushing some of my boundaries, but, it's with people I already trust and am doing it for them.

It should never be a pre-requisite.

 

To spin on the head, any Dominant whose default position is wanting to break limits and push boundaries is already looking at ways to flaunt your consent.

 

[Deleted Member]

SignoraAllesia

Thank you for taking the time to reply.personally I'm open to pretty much a great deal of experimentation,on my profile I put my boundaries down,so I guess what you're saying is right, I'm very new to this but not desperate just to fuck someone I'm not here for that I'm here to learn,so I put myself out as open to most things thank you very much for the reply 💞

[ey****]

The very first time I filmed.

 

Which could have been better organised, but, still.

 

Communicating on the day to work out what scenes I'd be involved in.

 

"So, what are you into?" was the question.

"I'm pretty versatile [which is true]" 

 

being a bit on the spot... I did start reeming off some of my interests.

 

Foot fetish - oh, we did that with another guy this morning

Watersports - another guy raised his hand to say he'd already called shotgun.

Anal - there were a few looks, I later found out that they'd done a fisting with someone that morning who hadn't cleaned - and - yeah, it'd put them off that for the day.

 

So, in ways I'm actually doing things right - but - I still kind of come up with the "up for anything" and I end up in a really nasty and horrible whipping scene which I didn't enjoy.

 

I noticed the other day the producer has put the clip on xHamster, I tried to watch it and got a minute or two in before remembering how much I hated it.

 

Fittingly, I did a whipping scene last month which is one of my favourite ever, but that was with 2 ladies I've known for a while, with implements they were familiar with (and I'd had previous with most of) and not someone I'd just met in the carpark.

 

But my point, being a little too open carries a risk of getting into a situation you're not entirely happy with for the sake of interaction.

 

[Deleted Member]

Eyemblacksheep

Again my friend I find your words and knowledge of this subject enlightening,I take onboard all I hear on here,I don't judge and I don't OVER think things or stay on a subject to long I'm on a journey,bumps,highs,lows whatever the journey is usually better than the destination,I'm a student on hear and I'm listening and learning respect

[Deleted Member]

Eyemblacksheep,

Sounds a fun day you had,isn't that why the etiquette

And ground rules are agreed before hand.

[Deleted Member]

I have to leave now but will gladly read and learn from all the wise words respect.

[ey****]

I've made mistakes and it's best others don't repeat them ;)

 

If I'd been say negotiating play or booking a session then that would have been covered.

 

But, basically this was a filming day with a producer and not direct to the Mistress(es) so the instructions were just to turn up and we could talk about who was doing what and match slaves and Mistresses etc.

 

So yes, ideally it should have been done beforehand.

 

But, likewise - if I was negotiating play and my position was "I have no limits" or "I'm up for anything" then the same risk applies.

 

Or, alternatively, the person negotiating with has to end up coaxing information out of me which is never ideal.

 

[Deleted Member]

It's basically a minefield rules are needed trust and respect are prime spontaneous and primal are excellent,the more I learn the less I know,fear keeps me intrigued ,alert and alive respect .