*** of male subs

[pp****]

Diaper punishment for me please

[TimtheMerciless]

Being dommed generally frees one of feeling  the responsibility at one can surrender to the sexual or romantic atmosphere your dom or partner has created.

 

Perhaps also being humiliated activates the lizard brain and makes us feel at a gut level that we are being given attention by someone much more important than us .

We may love our respect our partner or Dom with our higher brain and self.  But *** makes our most primitive and strange brain areas feel that respect too. So all layers of our self are feeling that gratitude and excitement.

[twinkledelightful]

Why subs enjoy *** will vary from sub to sub. Some might not like it at all

[Ky****]

2 minutes ago, kitty63 said:

Why subs enjoy *** will vary from sub to sub. Some might not like it at all

is it possible for a sub not to enjoy ***, it might be my lack of imagination but I can't think of anything that a sub endures that is not a form of ***, the scenarios and the level might vary but I'd say everything we suffer is humiliating to some degree

[twinkledelightful]

9 minutes ago, Kymi said:

is it possible for a sub not to enjoy ***, it might be my lack of imagination but I can't think of anything that a sub endures that is not a form of ***, the scenarios and the level might vary but I'd say everything we suffer is humiliating to some degree

Semantically, yes, I suppose it could be argued that there is an inherent element of “***” in any Dom/sub relationship, but it might not be a primary source of enjoyment or requirement for a male sub.
i was thinking more in terms of a sub for whom restraint or *** might be their need. You could argue that there is an element of *** in accepting bondage or punishment, but i don’t think it’s the same as the “***” that a sub like me “enjoys”

[Ky****]

1 minute ago, kitty63 said:

Semantically, yes, I suppose it could be argued that there is an inherent element of “***” in any Dom/sub relationship, but it might not be a primary source of enjoyment or requirement for a male sub.
i was thinking more in terms of a sub for whom restraint or *** might be their need. You could argue that there is an element of *** in accepting bondage or punishment, but i don’t think it’s the same as the “***” that a sub like me “enjoys”

understand now, u were thinking of say humiliating behaviour rather than necessarily the *** that is an aspect of other discipline, ty for the thoughts

[ey****]

I don't entirely agree.  It's not humiliating to be submissive.

[twinkledelightful]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I don't entirely agree.  It's not humiliating to be submissive.

And yet, a sense of being “humiliated” can be an essential part of a sub’s make-up. i think it’s probably best to differentiate between vanilla *** and Dom/sub ***

[ey****]

17 minutes ago, kitty63 said:

And yet, a sense of being “humiliated” can be an essential part of a sub’s make-up. i think it’s probably best to differentiate between vanilla *** and Dom/sub ***

there's a lot of subtle but important differences.

But...

the concept of being submissive shouldn't be humiliating.   However, of course, there's this problem - especially in F/m as this thread is about where some still feel women are weak and so the concept of submitting to a woman is "taboo" or humiliating - and - that's actually misogyny - and a big problem.  It's often no wonder those with that attitude often struggle for play/relationships

*** as a form of play or within a dynamic is completely different.  

[twinkledelightful]

16 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

there's a lot of subtle but important differences.

But...

the concept of being submissive shouldn't be humiliating.   However, of course, there's this problem - especially in F/m as this thread is about where some still feel women are weak and so the concept of submitting to a woman is "taboo" or humiliating - and - that's actually misogyny - and a big problem.  It's often no wonder those with that attitude often struggle for play/relationships

*** as a form of play or within a dynamic is completely different.  

i agree with You completely there. It is a complex subject with untold subtleties. If i were to publicly announce one of my kinks or fetishes, there would certainly be a few Men who wouldn’t dream of doing something so humiliating, whereas i might regard it as a “reward.”
As for Fem Dom (and i would also include ***d feminisation) there is a valid argument to be made that any feeling of *** a male sub might feel by being belittled by a Woman could be considered worrying.
Complex with subtleties

[twinkledelightful]

The op asked what a male sub gets out of being humiliated (and i’m talking about *** as a fetish in itself).
i’ve sometimes asked myself what i enjoy about it, and i’m still not entirely sure.
i do remember that one frequent early fantasy for me was bring ***d to date the least popular girls in our school and suffering humiliating ridicule as a result.
That was back in my naive, less enlightened boyhood, of course.
It wasn’t that i was a particularly disliked kid in school, and i had girlfriends throughout who i found attractive.
Who knows why i enjoy that feeling of humiliating inferiority? Strict mum? Passive dad? Nature? Nurture? A bit of both?

[ey****]

it's a fairly old post and the OP hasn't logged in for over 2 years

but, a lot ***-wise is very personal - and some is, sadly, rooted in prejudices (be it the aforementioned "submitting to a woman is humiliating" - or also - things like feminisation 'because being a woman is humiliating' or ***d-bi 'because being gay is humiliating' - etc) 

and also what one person finds humiliating another would not.   I did foot worship with  my Mistress in the middle of a (fetish) club - and my mindset was it was an honour to be paraded as hers so publicly, but for others this would be a humiliating experience

A lot of people like the "rejected by hot girls" kinda thing - in some cases, because they're used to getting what they want and here is someone saying 'no' - or in other cases it can be a reclamation - for example how mean people can be if you approach them when younger and they're not interested 

Orgasm based *** also - where stuff is so centred around the male orgasm and it's then denied, ruined, or fed back

--

but, the top and bottom is there's no blanket reason and overanalysing why you might be into something can be a distraction from just enjoying being into it.  

[megan-9454]

Sometimes a person just needs told what to do!!! Even doms, not just subs!!!Its life, we all need direction and we all need to give direction, and sometimes its a big turn on to just be bossed around and sometimes its a turn off!! Either way, if your already feeling down about yourself and life, having someone that is super sexy telling you the things you already feel, is exactly what you need!!!

[dook]

   I find that having a mistress do and call me things that I am not supposed to like is a huge turn on. I love exposed poses, being called names, being controlled sexually, or being ***d to say Mercy and totally succomb to my mistress.

[MicahSPH-1221]

I am wanting to explore female domination

[Ki****]

I think no one likes to be humiliated infront of others. But when it's in a scene it's part of a play, there is a distinct difference between *** and sexual ***, when it's sexual there is an intriguing pleasure of the feeling that comes over us, just enjoy it.

[bi****]

I need thsi

[Cucky45015]

I don't know why. I know I haven't always been into it or being a sub or wanting to be a cuck. Did find it pretty hilarious though on this site I asked a so called domme a straight forward basic question and she said I offended her and hurt her feelings. I then mentioned she may not be cut out to be a domme. She lost it and actually tried humiliating me. I was all yes please more I love *** 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Th****]

Femdom doesn't inherently involve ***, ***, feminization or ***d bi. Dominance in general doesn't inherently involve ***, *** or even punishment in the scientific/behavior modification sense of the word. 

Submission and being a submissive isn't inherently humiliating nor does it mean the sub is inherently inferior. All it means is they defer power and authority to their Dom and the Dominant partner has the ultimate responsibility of power, control and decision making within the bounds of negotiation. Terms of negotiation can always be revoked or renegotiated. There are many many ways this can be done and many different forms a D/s dynamic can take. The only limitations are those of human creativity and imagination. 

[Ca****]

Not sure why but *** has already been a part of my cuckold relationships and enjoyed by all . My dick isn't tiny but it is small and kept in chastity, my gf bulls were always huge making my cock look even smaller in comparison.

[Deleted Member]

On 1/6/2021 at 12:29 PM, Kymi said:

my pov may be insulting to some women but here it is, i grew up in an environment where men are in charge, men do certain things women do others, i didn' know why i enjoyed the *** but guess its because whatever my genetics i knew i was a woman and the submissive slut was exciting because it felt like i was accessing the real me, wonder if i was a *** ager now with all the support and understanding whether i'd even b into fetish of any sort, i also wonder whether my pov is more common among those in their 50s like me than it is among 20 somethings

Age is not the factor based upon the few conversations I see or been part of in the past.

As you said it seems to have been based on environmental factors and treatment... but saying that ofcource being older means you have more experience so might open new doors then not open as factors didn't give experiences needed.

I  for example have never changed at my core being my natural kink behaviour but with new experiences and a wonderful owner in the past had new possibilities and kinks options opening up to me even if its a different play behaviour (pleasure Dom) over lifestyle default bratty pet sub ..

The key factors are finding that right person for you to be yourself in every way in the correctly set up dynamic.

[fc****]

I know the OP of this was from years ago but I find this topic interesting.  There are a lot of layers to this.

From my experiences both for myself and for many others I have known, the basic answer of what the direct "payoff" is for emotional masochist sub men is that *** is both arousing and because it causes them to shift into their submissive mental space (an altered mental state that encompasses both feeling and being submissive).  It's difficult to reach this state deeply on ones own and is easier to achieve as a respond to dominance or external stimuli.  

An important indirect benefit is that *** can serve to validate the ugly ***s and truths they feel about themselves or their kinks/submission but does so without their imagined (or previously experienced) worst possible outcome. The worst outcome being dumped or abandoned, having their life ruined, etc.  I don't think this is usually the goal people are seeking, but having *** done by a romantic partner who sticks around afterwards is actually quite helpful.  

Most of the emotional masochists I know (myself included), spent years battling guilt and shame over our kinks, needs, desires, and perceived inadequacies and shortcomings.  Often, repeated early experiences of fantasy followed by a shame spiral can eroticize the shame.  At times, we can become so convinced that our needs/desires will be seen as repulsive to others, that it feels like a more realistic fantasy to have others humiliating us than accepting us in a healthy way.  

[MsMaple]

I'm kinda new to being a domme. My boy has been into *** for a long time. I really love him so much and aftercare is such an important step in order for me to reassure him that I really do love him. I know that subspace is a thing. Any tips on how to get into a domme space?

[VoodooQueen_]

January 6, 2021, Kymi said:

my pov may be insulting to some women but here it is, i grew up in an environment where men are in charge, men do certain things women do others, i didn' know why i enjoyed the *** but guess its because whatever my genetics i knew i was a woman and the submissive slut was exciting because it felt like i was accessing the real me, wonder if i was a *** ager now with all the support and understanding whether i'd even b into fetish of any sort, i also wonder whether my pov is more common among those in their 50s like me than it is among 20 somethings

Objectively, the fact you think of women as "lesser than" and worthy of *** simply because they're women is very insulting. But you do you. If you find someone who's willing to do that to you consensually, then I am happy for you.

[fc****]

9 hours ago, MsMaple said:

I'm kinda new to being a domme. My boy has been into *** for a long time. I really love him so much and aftercare is such an important step in order for me to reassure him that I really do love him. I know that subspace is a thing. Any tips on how to get into a domme space?

A first question would be if Domme space is something you already feel/reach?  A follow-up to that is if the answer is yes, is it something that seems to happen more randomly, as a response to activities/environment, or something internal?

I'm guessing if you are asking, it isn't something that you are able to reach consistently through your own will.  

From my experiences with partners, friends, and mentoring, Domme space is heavily dependent upon feeling confident.  You may find the confidence surfaces when you are feeling particularly attractive and desirable.  You may find it being more about feeling in control and competent in what you are doing.  You may find it by being free to pursue your own pleasure and satisfaction.  You may be able to find it through rational and logical means.  

Sometimes that confidence happens in a general sense.  Other times it may happen in regards to your specific partner.  

Does humiliating him "do it" for you?   Or is it something you primarily engage in because he needs it?  

One way that may be easier in your situation is seek/create a Domme space that is complementary to his submissive narrative that encompasses his emotional masochism.  Most emotional masochists have a rather developed submissive narrative formed through years of fantasizing.  This narrative embodies varying sets of details and parameters that serve as the reasons and justifications for his place in the pecking order and are quite often rooted in shame and embarrassment he felt towards his desires when they first surfaced.  

Unfortunately, it is often very difficult for emotional masochists to communicate their narrative in a direct and emotionally honest way, so in a lot of cases, there are some tricks that may be needed to decipher the meta-concepts that exist behind the specific details.  If you are able to piece together the "why" behind the things he likes you to do or say, it will let you be able to "get him there," in a free-flowing and unscripted way.  This can bring about intense experiences that go far beyond what he ever expected or dreamed of and make you seem like an all-powerful mind-reader that can dissect his psyche in every way.   This kind of confidence can often be channeled into a Domme space.  

I hope this could help at all.