When did “Pleasure Dom” start sounding soft and why do so many women want one?

[Sa****]

Pleasure can be derived from *** or denial as well as the usual methods. I learn my subs body and exploit the things that give them pleasure to the point of excess. Just when they think their body cant take any more i find another round in them(consented of course). Whoever said that we are lazy is mistaken. Quite the opposite. If i didnt work out regularly i wouldnt be able to do what i do. I also do a lot of research to be able to curate the experiences i deliver.

[Sq****]

There's a ridiculous amount of depth missed with the term and it isn't necessarily soft. There is definitely an influx of randos claiming the title without knowing of achieving anything with it purely to try to get attention and be selected.

[Qu****]

Personally I see a lot of why "pleasure dom" is being used in this thread. That reason is because a lot of people are equating bdsm with sex and people are looking at the two extremes, rough & gentle.

Bdsm isn't inherently sexual. I can electrocute someone, set them on fire, poke them with needles, or spank them. This doesn't mean I want to have sex with them or make them orgasm. At the same time this doesn't preclude those activities either.

When people use terms like pleasure dom they're thinking sexualy terms and typically are on the more vanilla side of things, thinking a blindfold & wax before engaging in sex is extreme. Not disparaging anyone who does those, but typically that kind of person doesn't seek out knowledge & training which is where I do find an issue.

[JackJonesHull]

As a gentleman described as a Pleasure Dom, not a title I awarded myself, I am still unclear what it would entail.
I tailor to what provides pleasure, as described and discussed, be that leaning into *** or to pure pleasure. But in those moments it is always in submission to me first.
I may be soft, I may not. That is up to us both.
So, based on personal experience, I don't see a pleasure Dom as soft. Of course I may be mistaken.

[wo****]

8 hours ago, psybermamii said:

it seems to continually be more and more about bottoming from the top. it seems to be for subs who don’t want to claim being subs because of their ego. ‘just tell me what you like and i’ll do it but it’s for me because i like to give pleasure and you don’t stop until i say because i love to see you orgasm a million times in a row ’. despite there being a safe word.. make it make sense?

inverted, as a dominant, i could still hand a sub a cane and tell them to use it on me. it might be pleasurable for me. it might be uncomfortable for them. they may feel weak exploring it, whilst i feel powerful. who’s the pleasure dom here?

women equate pleasure dom with respect i think. and getting beat up is getting more dangerous as the community grows more mainstream. and i’m just not all that sure that majority of this type are actually all that focused on the woman’s pleasure. i wonder how they respond if they can’t get an orgasm out of her? (spoiler - it’s often an emasculated tantrum) 🤭

I don’t read books or articles about BDSM. I don’t really care about labels either, I care about understanding what someone means when they use a label People have lots of different understandings and interpretations of things, even professionals.The bottoming from the top and it’s from subs and it being connected to their ego. I understand your use of qualifiers like “seems”, but it sounds odd to me. Do you separate people into either Dom or sub? Do you have unusually strict criteria in defining a dominant?
You allude to one possible reason a man might say that, not having anything to do with sub or Dom actually. If women equate the term with respect…men have been known to do difficult, costly, and extravagant things to appeal to women. Adopting a label, easy.
You doubt the majority of them caring that much about the woman’s pleasure? OK. I am not sure why though.
Then you pretend to wonder how they respond if they can’t get an orgasm “out of her”? Revealing that they frequently throw “emasculated” tantrums, ending with the emoji.
If I were to go by the way they seem to you, I would not like or trust anyone calling themselves a pleasure doms. I seem to have a different way of assessing people with respect to trust and their propensity to throw tantrums, as well as the less obvious and more subtle ways people ack out. To each his own.

[wo****]

5 hours ago, liliththedivine said:

Bit off topic, but this reminded me of dark romance. I don't think these stories are truly about female submission, but more about a woman dominating a stereotypically masculine man from the bottom. At the end of the story she succeeds at controlling the scary beast, therefore becoming more powerful than he is.

I don’t read them, do the woman dominate the beast from the beginning or where and how does that shift happen if not?

[so****]

for me, someone saying they are a pleasure dom means they aren’t looking for me to serve them, but that they will take control of my pleasure for their own pleasure. the label describes what kind of experience i can expect, even if both are acting from the same fundamental base of dominance.

[cu****]

5 hours ago, norfolkbloke44 said:

As a pleasure Dom and having been with a woman who struggles to orgasm it can have two outcomes both are good. Firstly telling someone they aren't allowed to orgasm no matter what can have the effect of pushing them over the edge. The second is giving them permission to relax and just enjoy the sensations no pressure. The dynamic is more important than an orgasm, you have to build the connection and for some woman they can't orgasm if there isn't a connection. For me it's about getting the woman I'm with into a kind of mediative state sometimes call sub state where they can relax and just experience the pleasure and sensations, if orgasm is the goal then it's no different to sex. If we reach the end without orgasm but with her tingling all over and fully relaxed then I'm happy. For me exploring and finding what a person likes or doesn't, activating every nerve so any small touch brings pleasure is what brings me joy. To me a true pleasure Dom uses control and dominance to enhance the experience, rewarding with pleasure and punishing by removing it. That's my perspective I'm sure everyone has their own opinion.

This is definitely the closest to my own experience. Ive been with 2 men who fit the description of pleasure Doms. The first told me that the act of controlling whether or not I was allowed to finish and how often was a huge boost to his ego. He routinely tried to f0rce so many that i passed out cause he said that was the ultimate goal. I personally like not having a say in the matter. It takes the pressure off me and let's me finish easier if he lets me. Also if I dont have a say, im less likely to fake it if I feel bad it isnt happening quickly enough. On the flip side, he also could have chosen to just edge me, completely deny me and use me for his toy or f0rce me to finish as many times as he wanted. The second guy had issues finishing himself so when he wasnt done having fun, he would just focus on me. Once again I didn't have a say and submitted to what he wanted the play to entail.

[Ne****]

8 hours ago, ApolloCross said:

Oh I know exactly why

I wonder why our comments regarding it being male ego got deleted (at least on My end).... grrr

[ey****]

Just now, NexumSange said:

 

I wonder why our comments regarding it being male ego got deleted (at least on My end).... grrr

I can see them, they're on the first page

[cu****]

2 minutes ago, NexumSange said:

I wonder why our comments regarding it being male ego got deleted (at least on My end).... grrr

I see it on my end 😊

[Sa****]

I'm a Pleasure Goddess. I like *** & pleasure in the playroom. It's the perfect combination for us.

[Bi****]

I'm kinda ***d into being a pleasure dom, as it takes a lot to get me to cum. I get my wife off at least 3 times before I cum once. I've been the one doing the pleasure since I was sexually active. I love oral pleasure more than anything, but not too many can pleasure me that way.

[Sa****]

Endurance is sexy as Fuck.

[Bi****]

7 minutes ago, SapphireNight said:

Endurance is sexy as Fuck.

Sometimes lol.

[Deleted Member]

The Pleasure Doms say to me, they take pleasure from giving pleasure … I guess that makes me a pleasure sub. I like impact, but personally, not from sadists. Their pleasure in my *** is not the same as their pleasure with my pleasure. How to pleasure depends on the people involved. One’s pleasure is not another’s. I dont think pleasure dom means soft or hard but does sound caring. It’s nice to think someone starts from a position of pleasing rather than taking or expecting .

[Sa****]

I'm a Pleasure Goddess. It's all about the submissive.

[Bi****]

13 minutes ago, SapphireNight said:

I'm a Pleasure Goddess. It's all about the submissive.

I bet it would be interesting to see who would come on top on who can please who the most between us lol

[Sa****]

I Know it would be me.

[We****]

I think yall should battle it out in the Thunderdome while I watch your subs😂😂

[Sa****]

With me. Every time.

[Bi****]

2 minutes ago, WestTXGent said:

I think yall should battle it out in the Thunderdome while I watch your subs😂😂

1v1 pleasure battle.

[Sa****]

I don't have a submissive, at the moment. Where's my competition. I appreciate your sense of humor.

[Bi****]

3 minutes ago, SapphireNight said:

I don't have a submissive, at the moment. Where's my competition. I appreciate your sense of humor.

I have my wife for my pleasure sub. She said she would love to me and you go at it to see how can out pleasure who. 🤣🤣

[Sa****]

But I Already Know.