he**** Posted January 14 How do you tactfully tell some they are horrible at a blowjob? I especially after trying to tell her what you like and giving directions! The worst is when someone somewhere before you told her it was good. So good she bragged to you about it and it was a full fail! Ladies please help, how would like to let down gently?
Tr**** Posted January 14 tell her what part you liked about it and then coach her through it sometimes we think we are going to hurt you while also trying not to throw up but sometimes being straight up and telling us “hey i didn’t like that” works too
No**** Posted January 14 Ykno ive tried to direct men at eating pussy and they 90% dont listen. I call this… theyre more into themselves than the experince. They dont feeeel into the experience. They dont care. Theyre going thru the motions cause they are numb drunk or high ad barely caring about it. A passionate person listens to u
No**** Posted January 14 I think she doesnt like u. Maybe ur bad at it too. I think you shouldnt “let her down gently”u simply say you arent interested and dont feel compatible. If they ssy why u say… i dont feel like you are listening to me and are more focused on your self
he**** Posted January 14 Author 10 minutes ago, Triniii2X said: tell her what part you liked about it and then coach her through it sometimes we think we are going to hurt you while also trying not to throw up but sometimes being straight up and telling us “hey i didn’t like that” works too I have tried coaching her it still gets no where. She’s just not good at it
he**** Posted January 14 Author 9 minutes ago, Nonnahs said: Ykno ive tried to direct men at eating pussy and they 90% dont listen. I call this… theyre more into themselves than the experince. They dont feeeel into the experience. They dont care. Theyre going thru the motions cause they are numb drunk or high ad barely caring about it. A passionate person listens to u Well to answer your drunk and high statement. She has been stone cold sober when has done it. I don’t need a drunk or high person to suck my dick lol
he**** Posted January 14 Author 9 minutes ago, Nonnahs said: I think she doesnt like u. Maybe ur bad at it too. I think you shouldnt “let her down gently”u simply say you arent interested and dont feel compatible. If they ssy why u say… i dont feel like you are listening to me and are more focused on your self I’m pretty sure she likes me, I mean she’s been around for quite some time. As far as being “bad at it”, we’ll agree to disagree. Other than the bad blowjobs the sex is phenomenal.
Im**** Posted January 14 You just gotta start at the basics when breaking it down. It’s like someone trying to do math but they skipped addition and subtraction. Also if you suck dick that’d help greatly than you two can go through the motions together. I’d want the same if it came to eating pussy
PL**** Posted January 14 Here is a question? Have you guys talked about things she could do to make it better, before or after sex, when not coaching in the moment? This might be helpful, also let her know that you like it different from how she has done it with others. That they may felt she was phenomenal, but that was because she met their preferences. However, your needs are different and maybe not just tell her, but show her using examples in which you teach her indirectly... For example get a dildo and show her ways you want her to hold you, hand placements, even moving her mouth or hands in a way that you might really like. She may not actually be bad at a blow job, it may simply ve that her previous partners likes what she did. So do not present it as shes doing wrong, present it as I am an individual and like things differently.
Ne**** Posted January 14 Would you end the relationship if She says she dislikes fellatio, and goes through the motions because of _______? It's a genuine *** people have as well as wanting to be with someone (in whatever capacity) and wanting to please their partners because they Do dig them and such, and perhaps not wanting to or feeling able to articulate all of that.
Me**** Posted January 14 You could always use a dildo and make her suck that and give her direction that way. Then when you see she is going in the right direction then you use your own dick as a reward.
fr**** Posted January 14 I would agree with the consensus specifically show her not on a cucumber or a carrot but my dick and if you can’t, my philosophy is out of would never ask someone to do something. I wasn’t willing to do or in most cases have done myself.
ey**** Posted January 14 someone else's enjoyment of her style could be true as much as your unenjoyment you could maybe help guide her to what you like
ba**** Posted January 14 You don't mention it. That's how u let her down. Just be kind. Sucking cock is a skill that requires practice and such ,not something everyone is amazing at from the get go
Mo**** Posted January 14 If you respectfully stop her short in performance, or opt out of her offer, it will spark the conversation which can lead to training.😉
he**** Posted January 14 Author 9 hours ago, NexumSange said: Perhaps She simply doesn't like the act. Which I completely understand, it’s not for everyone but don’t tell me you’re so good and all the compliments you’ve had bc it’s so good and then not be good at it.
he**** Posted January 14 Author 9 hours ago, NexumSange said: Would you end the relationship if She says she dislikes fellatio, and goes through the motions because of _______? It's a genuine *** people have as well as wanting to be with someone (in whatever capacity) and wanting to please their partners because they Do dig them and such, and perhaps not wanting to or feeling able to articulate all of that. I don’t care if she did it or not. She does it on her own bc she said she likes too and again thinks she’s good. I’ve even stopped her mid blowjob to do another stuff before sex
Wi**** Posted January 14 Its my belief that for a majority of men they get such little sexual attention that to them, ANY blow job is life shattering.. becasue its a blow job! This isn't to put down any women or men, just an observation that you only get a sense of comparison like you have when you've had more than a couple of blowjobs, and IF she's only given herself to men that havnt had much experience (again, not knocking either) then she may well have only recieved glowing compliments
Bl**** Posted January 14 Sometimes you just can explain to them.. find something they are good at if you want to keep fucking them lol
mr**** Posted January 14 I find a porn where it’s really and I mean really being done right and then point out the techniques that are game changing. Then I’m sure to signal when she’s doing something right and silence when she’s gone off course. Also I’ll explain that she should be sucking it like she’s tasting or eating something she really enjoys. It’s not about the mouth acting like a robot hand back and forth the game changers are the authentic enthusiasm mixed with attempting to taste and feel every inch in every possible way. That of course is if you can have an objective communication with her which I believe is your true question. A recipe that works for me isgenuine praise and compliments as a part of our relationship. Building confidence in our attraction and strength of our relationship. Then when I approach a corrective topic I ensure to be gentle and not condescending but rather building on to bring it to the next level. I also preemptively ask for tips for myself in how she would like me to eat her. Then pointing out the differences from her and an x (do not specifically name) so that when we talk about bj it’s not that she can’t do it but rather that’s how I like it! Good luck I’ve told some of these experts to teach a class or at least there friends because there is levels to bjs and the best are a whole new world
Gothicclover Posted January 14 If coaching her isn't helping her to be better at it just let her know hey this isn't working out. What might have been good for the other guy just isn't good for you. Honestly that guy may have been lying to her so he didn't hurt her feelings. Fuck dont be afraid to tell her just fucking tell her. I would want the man to tell me im not good at it. Hell they have told me but I also listen to what they tell me and try to fix it. Apparently she doesn't care about the way you like it. All guys like it differently so us as women who want to please the man will listen to how they like it. Is she good at everything else at least? Don't have her give you head if shes not fixing how she does it to please you.
ChocolateRopeBunny Posted January 15 Be direct. Sounds like the bubble needs to burst. But do it tactfully. Make sure you're both calm and attentive to the conversation at hand.
Deleted Member Posted January 16 I would address it with more tact. You have the potential to destroy every positive experience past and present surrounding this act. This sounds more psychological and you are battling pride, I would attack it from that angle. And the fact that they're doing it and trying to do 'their best' (the best that they've been told) is good, it means that they want good things for you. They just may be getting nervous especially if you've scolded them already and they are defaulting to what they believe is pleasurable. They will probably continue to revert back to this if they get nervous because that's default. The only way to correct this behavior is with calm continued reassurance. Do not use negativity to adjust unwanted behaviors. Instead use positivity to adjust to wanted behaviors. Again scolding negative behaviors in this case is more than likely going to en*** them because they were positive and effective by their own experience so that truth is more solidified regardless of what you say. From partner to partner there can be quite a large difference in structure and sensitivity preference. So, while this person has built up their confidence with the practice that they've gotten positive results from it is going to be hard to teach them without them feeling like you're being mean to them or that they were previously lied to. Both may damage their position within consent both past and present. Try also when explaining your wants to focus on there being multiple ways and multiple preferences for receiving the same act and how people and sizes are different. If a partner is very proud of their ability to take someone's member fully and they enter a relationship with someone well endowed (or differently endowed) their technique may be the same and the results very subpar and unappealing. That is a huge hit to the ego if they enjoyed that act and didn't change anything and don't understand why now it's not working or why it's not received in a wildly positive light. That can be very frustrating and in some ways scary to threaten their truth. Sounds like you are trying, and frustrated, but give yourself credit, you will figure it out in a way that protects both of you. Just default to compassion and understanding that (assumedly) she is not doing anything intentionally wrong or to frustrate you, she is just nervous. Side note for anyone: If your partner is non-consensually being mean about this or making you feel like a POS for not finishing fast enough, DM me, you may be in an abusive relationship.
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