Fl**** Posted January 28 I, like anyone else, often find myself caught in the clouds thinking over my life with my person. It's just that in these dreams my girlfriend would be a dominating ***. I often think of grocery shopping, cooking, sharing hobbies, etc. How the little interactions between us would be different then the average person, or how they'd be the same. Im curious friends. What do you find yourself daydreaming about?
BallpointBen Posted January 28 I dream about finding a femdom that doesn’t want a $100 tribute to prove loyalty lol
Ja**** Posted January 28 1 hour ago, BallpointBen said: I dream about finding a femdom that doesn’t want a $100 tribute to prove loyalty lol 100...thats degrading!!! I dream of suck it hard and If he is close to heaven i taser him to Hell, and repeat...until you offer 1000 to Stop...than i ***g ya with 14`` so i can see the White in your eyes. Then i drop 1 on you and leave saying "keep the Change Bitch"^^ Greatings from Germany 👋🤭😆🤣🖤
Go**** Posted January 28 Dominating somebody thats worth it, taking power from someone that has it and see them fold under the need of my presence , surrendering in all aspect of their life while still having boundaries and a strong sense of self and above all trust inside and ouside in a long term FLR: day to day life and complicity
Ju**** Posted January 28 23 hours ago, JaN1na said: 100...thats degrading!!! I dream of suck it hard and If he is close to heaven i taser him to Hell, and repeat...until you offer 1000 to Stop...than i ***g ya with 14`` so i can see the White in your eyes. Then i drop 1 on you and leave saying "keep the Change Bitch"^^ Greatings from Germany 👋🤭😆🤣🖤 That sounds amazing, except for the 14" and the big **** at the end.
Bl**** Posted January 29 1 hour ago, switchybitchy420 said: I think y'all have femdom and findom confused Sadly there are dommes on dating apps like chyrpe that aren’t willing to consider anyone if they won’t drop *** on them before anything else. Supposedly it’s to weed out broke men or whatever, but there’s plenty of other ways to do that.
Go**** Posted January 29 17 minutes ago, ***OfLethe said: Sadly there are dommes on dating apps like chyrpe that aren’t willing to consider anyone if they won’t drop *** on them before anything else. Supposedly it’s to weed out broke men or whatever, but there’s plenty of other ways to do that. like?
Bl**** Posted January 29 5 minutes ago, Godessy said: like? Are you asking for user names? I report them and move on. Supposedly they are strict about it.
sa**** Posted January 29 I daydream about finding someone who I'm very closely matched with, who i can enjoy my wildest fantasies with out loud. Potentially more than one although that is not something I'm totally sure about... I agree with you that finding someone to share a relationship and a lifetime with would be truly incredible. Someone who shares interests, hopes and dreams... the potential for a future together... and while we're dreaming, someone who's real... like not a bot, scammer or potential predator posing as an interested party would also be amazing, lol. ...a girl can dream, I suppose.
Bl**** Posted January 29 13 minutes ago, san-diego20461 said: I daydream about finding someone who I'm very closely matched with, who i can enjoy my wildest fantasies with out loud. Potentially more than one although that is not something I'm totally sure about... I agree with you that finding someone to share a relationship and a lifetime with would be truly incredible. Someone who shares interests, hopes and dreams... the potential for a future together... and while we're dreaming, someone who's real... like not a bot, scammer or potential predator posing as an interested party would also be amazing, lol. ...a girl can dream, I suppose. Yeah, that’s kinda why places like fetlife and maybe here are good. Don’t hesitate to get into local community events!
Ja**** Posted January 29 1 hour ago, Godessy said: like? If you watch all new ACC...you see a lot of Pictures again with new names..FET Team works hard to Close / shut them down...but *** Drives them, and a lot of fresh divorced man are easy Targets... So i guess the Problem will Not Go away, SAD . SMile
Bl**** Posted January 29 47 minutes ago, JaN1na said: If you watch all new ACC...you see a lot of Pictures again with new names..FET Team works hard to Close / shut them down...but *** Drives them, and a lot of fresh divorced man are easy Targets... So i guess the Problem will Not Go away, SAD . SMile To be fair those people are competing with the sugar babies who will also give attention and even take the initiative of liking the divorced guy and engaging to some degree without getting paid. I’m sure there are a few younger people that genuinely are interested in older divorced people, but it’s not even close to the norm. It’s a *** but until we get a socialist society (probably not gonna happen in my lifetime) there will always be a steep monetary incentive to aim for a given socioeconomically advantaged group.
BallpointBen Posted January 29 5 hours ago, switchybitchy420 said: I think y'all have femdom and findom confused I think they do not us lol! They are a dom and say they aren’t interested unless a tribute is paid weather that’s $100 or to buy them a set or some gift card… sadly the stereotypes exist for a reason!
Go**** Posted January 29 10 hours ago, ***OfLethe said: Are you asking for user names? I report them and move on. Supposedly they are strict about it. plenty other way like?
Go**** Posted January 29 9 hours ago, JaN1na said: If you watch all new ACC...you see a lot of Pictures again with new names..FET Team works hard to Close / shut them down...but *** Drives them, and a lot of fresh divorced man are easy Targets... So i guess the Problem will Not Go away, SAD . SMile "Supposedly it’s to weed out broke men or whatever, but there’s plenty of other ways to do that" my question was about what are the other ways
Ja**** Posted January 29 4 minutes ago, Godessy said: "Supposedly it’s to weed out broke men or whatever, but there’s plenty of other ways to do that" my question was about what are the other ways Ah , now i got ya. Sorry👋
Bl**** Posted January 29 56 minutes ago, Godessy said: plenty other way like? If the person is looking for a real relationship and actually wants a decent person, *** is a toxic starter. It sets the relationship as highly transactional from the jump. It sucks to invest time into people that don’t really fit your criteria, I know. That’s nothing new, however, dear Carribbean Canadian. First thing is first, unwillingness to put effort of any sort into profiles should be the first red flag. I want a relationship but i can’t be bothered to make a generally descriptive profile once and then post variations of it to other dating apps? Skip me! No clear direction in life? Also a red flag. Hell even a broke person trying to be not broke has some kind of direction. TBH, I feel like most people under 23 or so need to focus on getting their shit together, not dating. While they don’t necessarily have to be ambitious they should at least be seeking stability.
Go**** Posted January 29 25 minutes ago, ***OfLethe said: If the person is looking for a real relationship and actually wants a decent person, *** is a toxic starter. It sets the relationship as highly transactional from the jump. It sucks to invest time into people that don’t really fit your criteria, I know. That’s nothing new, however, dear Carribbean Canadian. First thing is first, unwillingness to put effort of any sort into profiles should be the first red flag. I want a relationship but i can’t be bothered to make a generally descriptive profile once and then post variations of it to other dating apps? Skip me! No clear direction in life? Also a red flag. Hell even a broke person trying to be not broke has some kind of direction. TBH, I feel like most people under 23 or so need to focus on getting their shit together, not dating. While they don’t necessarily have to be ambitious they should at least be seeking stability. That was an extensive take but that still doesn’t answer the question. The filter was "financial stability" aka being broke. Avoiding someone who isn’t resourced enough to enter a dynamic isn’t transactional : it’s boundary setting. Treating that boundary as the problem is confusing the symptom with the cause. So I understand that jumping through "hoops" is exhausting but no guns is at anybody's head - We are all consenting ADULTS here- and acting like *** is a problèm or not something that we centered our life around is quite frankly hypocrite and quite manipulative to think as a Dom it's a collar i am gonna wear gladly to prove anything to you.
Bl**** Posted January 29 3 minutes ago, Godessy said: That was an extensive take but that still doesn’t answer the question. The filter was "financial stability" aka being broke. Avoiding someone who isn’t resourced enough to enter a dynamic isn’t transactional : it’s boundary setting. Treating that boundary as the problem is confusing the symptom with the cause. So I understand that jumping through "hoops" is exhausting but no guns is at anybody's head - We are all consenting ADULTS here- and acting like *** is a problèm or not something that we centered our life around is quite frankly hypocrite and quite manipulative to think as a Dom it's a collar i am gonna wear gladly to prove anything to you. I was originally specifically talking about using $100 to even start talking to the person being a bad filter. That was my entire point 😆
Go**** Posted January 29 3 hours ago, ***OfLethe said: I was originally specifically talking about using $100 to even start talking to the person being a bad filter. That was my entire point 😆 thats 1 hour at the therapist... for her if you waste her time. I feel like it's a good incentive to not waste someones time, attention and labor ... And even here i ask you for a better way, you came with none... Even tho you acknoledge the number of sensation bottom and time wasters among your community... I don't see none of you doing the work to make the community safer for Femdoms
Bl**** Posted January 29 4 hours ago, Godessy said: thats 1 hour at the therapist... for her if you waste her time. I feel like it's a good incentive to not waste someones time, attention and labor ... And even here i ask you for a better way, you came with none... Even tho you acknoledge the number of sensation bottom and time wasters among your community... I don't see none of you doing the work to make the community safer for Femdoms I did reply with a response: figure out who you’re dealing with. If dropping cash is an effective tool, maybe I should do it too? Then no one would give anyone a shot… Well except for those with lots of ***. But they get everything that way anyways so nobody learns anything. There’s time wasters everywhere in every community. I’m not sure what you mean by ‘your community’? As far as I can tell we have several communities in common and subs are not a community… how exactly do you expect to see people making the femdoms safer? Most of the work is in raising kids properly and teaching people around you how to not be stains on society. I’m pretty sure we agree on 99.9999% of things when it comes to the outcomes and probably 99.5% of things when it comes to the means. You seem to be really up in your feels on this and I don’t get it. Like I don’t mind ***. If that’s you, then get your bag, girl. I just think that a $100 buy-in to even get to speak with someone one doesn’t even know is heuristically useful in exactly two specific determinations: are they wealthy or are they bad with ***. because if they’re doing that, they’re not just dropping cash on one person.
Go**** Posted January 29 (edited) You’re still not answering my question, and I want to address the points you’re making so it’s clear: 1 ) Pathologizing my stance: Saying I’m “up in my feels” doesn’t address the mechanism at all. Standards aren’t feelings, they’re practical filters for stability and safety. - 2 ) Strawmanning the financial filter: You reframed it as a “$100 buy in to speak to someone,” but that’s not the issue. The filter is financial capacity as a signal of stability, not arbitrary fees.- 3)Abstracting responsibility into society-at-large: Talking about “raising kids properly” or general societal behaviour doesn’t change the fact that adult men in this dynamic are responsible for their own stability before entering it.- 4) Centering male inconvenience: Claiming alignment with outcomes while focusing on men being excluded ignores the reality that women absorb risk, time, and emotional labor when men are unstable. That’s the cost the filter prevents. And at the end my question remains unanswered: what other reliable methods exist to filter out financial instability without making women pay the cost first? So far, none have been named. Mo ney is simply one fast, clear, and honest heuristic in my opinion, so if you know a better one, I’m genuinely open to hearing it. it's funny it's not even the main subject, I really thought you had some insight to show, but clearly , you are just complaining on a personal problem and hoping someone else will come up with the solution. Edited January 29 by Godessy
Bl**** Posted January 30 3 hours ago, Godessy said: You’re still not answering my question, and I want to address the points you’re making so it’s clear: 1 ) Pathologizing my stance: Saying I’m “up in my feels” doesn’t address the mechanism at all. Standards aren’t feelings, they’re practical filters for stability and safety. - 2 ) Strawmanning the financial filter: You reframed it as a “$100 buy in to speak to someone,” but that’s not the issue. The filter is financial capacity as a signal of stability, not arbitrary fees.- 3)Abstracting responsibility into society-at-large: Talking about “raising kids properly” or general societal behaviour doesn’t change the fact that adult men in this dynamic are responsible for their own stability before entering it.- 4) Centering male inconvenience: Claiming alignment with outcomes while focusing on men being excluded ignores the reality that women absorb risk, time, and emotional labor when men are unstable. That’s the cost the filter prevents. And at the end my question remains unanswered: what other reliable methods exist to filter out financial instability without making women pay the cost first? So far, none have been named. Mo ney is simply one fast, clear, and honest heuristic in my opinion, so if you know a better one, I’m genuinely open to hearing it. it's funny it's not even the main subject, I really thought you had some insight to show, but clearly , you are just complaining on a personal problem and hoping someone else will come up with the solution. I said ‘up in your feels’ because of how you were wording things. That wasn’t pathologizing either. I didn’t say you were unstable or any such thing. Anyway, look, I know I stopped dating ‘straight’ men for the most part because of how they are about things. And I get some of the things you are touching on, but I am not suggesting that either party put themselves out there first. That’s the whole point of a first meetup being somewhere public. (This is the most obvious I can make my answer that you keep not catching.) If time is wasted that’s fine. I know I get mistaken for a man most of the time, thanks to societal pressures. But I don’t even have a dog in this fight so to speak. I’m mostly on here to see what might be happening that isn’t making it to fetlife. I’m just some aging nb that wishes I had the opportunity to express myself with much less consequence when I was younger. That being said, dropping 100s isn’t a sign of stability. That is a good chunk of my point. Unless you’re looking for someone that makes ‘fuck you’ ***, I guess. But like I said, the few people I’ve known of that just dropped cash for the chance to meet up seemed to have viewed things more transactionally than I know I would want were I the person dating him. If you absolutely have to have your date drop some silver on the date, just do that whole “can you pay for my gas and parking” or whatever. Anyway, I personally value decent thought processing over financial stability in the form of getting fronted 100 bucks. I can chat with a person and figure out if they’re generally financially stable. Took me a while to get to that point but that’s autism for ya. I keep hitting the same drum because you have not responded to it since I said it the first time: stability is not even hinted at by someone giving out 100 bucks to meet. I’ve thankfully never had anyone require that of me, but I’ve seen profiles that said it. It gives off a ‘I consider you sex work’ vibe, too, now that I think about it. Which would probably make the guy more unstable if he expected something he shouldn’t. But yeah, it’s not all about guys anyway, because there’s some lesbian/bi profiles I’ve seen requiring the same. It’s just something I consider a disturbing trend that doesn’t help anyone find what they’re looking for.
Bl**** Posted January 30 4 hours ago, Godessy said: You’re still not answering my question, and I want to address the points you’re making so it’s clear: 1 ) Pathologizing my stance: Saying I’m “up in my feels” doesn’t address the mechanism at all. Standards aren’t feelings, they’re practical filters for stability and safety. - 2 ) Strawmanning the financial filter: You reframed it as a “$100 buy in to speak to someone,” but that’s not the issue. The filter is financial capacity as a signal of stability, not arbitrary fees.- 3)Abstracting responsibility into society-at-large: Talking about “raising kids properly” or general societal behaviour doesn’t change the fact that adult men in this dynamic are responsible for their own stability before entering it.- 4) Centering male inconvenience: Claiming alignment with outcomes while focusing on men being excluded ignores the reality that women absorb risk, time, and emotional labor when men are unstable. That’s the cost the filter prevents. And at the end my question remains unanswered: what other reliable methods exist to filter out financial instability without making women pay the cost first? So far, none have been named. Mo ney is simply one fast, clear, and honest heuristic in my opinion, so if you know a better one, I’m genuinely open to hearing it. it's funny it's not even the main subject, I really thought you had some insight to show, but clearly , you are just complaining on a personal problem and hoping someone else will come up with the solution. As an aside, I feel that if there was ever a group I would understand asking for some kind of show of good faith before even just a basic date, it would be those of us under the trans umbrella. Especially if we don’t match societal norms visually.
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