Acolyte learns their Place

[scientistxSaturday]

🙏"Listen, I'm sorry for being such a prick, I didn't know you-"

☀️"Yes you did, we're not going to get anywhere if you think you can lie to me. Do you? Think you can lie to me?"

🙏"No"

☀️"Then why try?"

🙏"I just, don't want to hurt y-"

☀️"Yes. You did, you'd do anything to feel in control, scrambling whenever you feel yourself fall into my designs, But you don't actually want control do you?"

🙏"No"

☀️""No" who? "No" what?"

🙏"No, I don't want control, Mon Dieu."

☀️"And how does saying that feel, Little One?"

🙏"It feels scary, like a release?"

☀️"To whom are you speaking?"

🙏"Mon Dieu, sorry, Mon Dieu"

☀️"Forgiven. Exactly, better or worse?"

🙏"It feels better. Mon Dieu"

☀️"Do you think that's acceptable, to toy with me like that? To erode my self concept? To attempt to slip out of our agreements without negotiation?"

🙏"No, Mon Dieu, it's not acceptable"

☀️"So then, why do you do it?"

🙏"I won't anymore, I'm sorry, I just don't know how to, It's overwhelming, it's what you said I just feel like you have so much control, I want to do what you want even when you haven't asked, it's scary, I feel weak"

☀️"Do you believe it's weak to submit? That it's foolish to worship me? That living in my service will lead you anywhere other than your best interests?"

🙏"No, no Mon Dieu. I've just, I keep giving myself up without setting up all this, to people who don't actually care, who are just self harm for me, I feel like I abandon myself and I can't trust myself to actually choose me over this feeling of being under."

☀️"Are you ashamed of your Worshipfullness? Are you unhappy to be liking me, do you want me to let you down easy, Sweet Creature? To release my hold on you? Do you think that negative cycle is happening again, am I like them? Are you hurting yourself when you go under for me?"

🙏"No! No Mon Dieu I'm sorry!"

☀️"And it sounds like you know exactly how to submit if you find yourself pulled to live inside my will without a specific order, but yes, generally I prefer we discuss what you do for me so we can be sure we're not riding on trauma clouded assumptions"

🙏"I just feel scared that, what if I disappoint you? What if you think I'm not a good Acolyte? What if I do the wrong thing or I try and you don't like it?"

☀️"What if? Silly. You /did/ disappoint me. You weren't being good. You embarrassed me. And how am I treating you? What are the consequences? Is it the end of the world?"

🙏"I don't know, what are you doing, Mon Dieu?"

☀️"What did we agree to before if you disobey? I'm tying you up, we're going to sort this out, I'm going to make you feel safe and I'm going to let out some of my frustration from these incidences, and we're going to negotiate your apology if that's okay, you confused me Sweetheart, it took a while to figure out what was happening, I thought there was just a flaw in what I'd asked or I wasn't being clear. I'm hurt. I thought I was being cruel, selfish, I felt unlovable, do you want me to feel that way?"

🙏"No, no, Mon Dieu, I just got all wrapped up, I used to just fall so hard. And I'd forget everything I wanted and I'd feel empty but like I needed it. It was addictive."

☀️"Am I them? Do I act like them? Do I speak like them? I think perhaps a key difference is that I actually have traits worthy of admiration, that I actually hold good values rather than being the Only person available and a master of artifice. Do you? Do you think these are false promises? Do you think that my talents are hollow shells? Or just lures?"

🙏"No, you aren't like them Mon Dieu. I wish you could see how highly I think of you. It's amazing to me how you live up to your philosophy, I'm so astonished by everything you can do, by just, you."

☀️"And I am amazed by you too, Little Creature, I usually feel as though you are a worthy Maenad, I worship you back. I note that as another key difference between these toxic situations and us. But if you cannot tell the difference between that and us, I wonder if you have the capacity for the depth I thought we were aiming for? Are you experiencing the care I have? Because if it's not translating, I'm not sure I /can/ make you feel loved, and if I can't do that, I'm not comfortable taking responsibility for you."

🙏"I'M SORRY! IT WAS A MISTAKE! I'm starting to review what I've been doing. You're right. I should've talked about it. I will! In the future, I will Mon Dieu."

☀️"Oh look! Passion! Where were you?You think I can handle you?"

🙏"You're handling me right now, Mon Dieu"

Part one

[wa****]

so there going to be more 

[LADY_GRIMM]

👏👏👏👏 Brava!! 👨‍🍳👩‍🍳💋💋!! This was an excellent read. How many parts will there be? How will the punishment play out or are they being punished now through the conversation? How do I follow for more?
#Excellentjob