Can someone explain SPANKS

[Bi****]

4 hours ago, CaraVirt said:

Hey @BigChanges,

Spanks are simply a way to show interest in someone’s profile. If both users spank each other, it creates a match.

If you see a message about sending a gift or upgrading, that’s related to messaging or contact permissions — not the spank itself. Some profiles have restrictions depending on membership type or settings.

Clicking “X” only means you’re not sending a spank at that moment. It doesn’t permanently block the person, and profiles can appear again depending on the system rotation.

You’re not being f@rced to reject someone — it just means that certain contact options require specific conditions (like a match or membership level).

Hope that clarifies how the feature works.

Greetings, Carmen FET Team

Okay this still makes no sense. Please read my example below. Someone said it’s like Tinder. Swiping yes or no. This is totally different. Let’s say girl Z comes up. There are two options on the screen. Spank or X. If I click spank, up pops a screen that says buy them a gift. So there is no option to spank. It is now X or X. I am ***d to dislike someone I like. Make this make sense.

[De****]

Match does not mean that you both like each other. Match means that your BDSM tests match. I don’t like anyone’s page ever and I get matches all the time.

[FE****]

22 minutes ago, Biggie_71 said:

Happens to me too. I’ll get one or two in and then the app won’t let me do another one unless I pay for it. I’d rather not pay for it but the only other option is to reject that person

read the response earlier.

[JP****]

I thought you meant shape wear

[19****]

4 hours ago, Superhair said:

Also be aware if you buy the VIP plan. It states unlimited Spanks but not really? I've disputed with their service department for weeks and they just send back generic emails. If you purchase VIP it does NOT come with unlimited Spanks even though they claim it does. Hope this helps.

I’ve had this too. The marketing side suggests you can write to anyone.
Not sure why these ploys as it kills their reputation. But I’m interested in figuring out how to blocking people that are outside my scope. I don’t know where to do this en mass. I’ll look up my profile settings tonight.

[FE****]

7 minutes ago, 1974Dabbler said:

 

I’ve had this too. The marketing side suggests you can write to anyone.
Not sure why these ploys as it kills their reputation. But I’m interested in figuring out how to blocking people that are outside my scope. I don’t know where to do this en mass. I’ll look up my profile settings tonight.

Manage them in Spank settings 

https://www.fetish.com/settings/poke

[FE****]

7 minutes ago, 1974Dabbler said:

 

I’ve had this too. The marketing side suggests you can write to anyone.
Not sure why these ploys as it kills their reputation. But I’m interested in figuring out how to blocking people that are outside my scope. I don’t know where to do this en mass. I’ll look up my profile settings tonight.

There is a difference between messaging someone and spanking them.  You can also amend messaging filters to limit who can send you PMs

[elon-sie]

4 hours ago, DenverBunny said:

Match does not mean that you both like each other. Match means that your BDSM tests match. I don’t like anyone’s page ever and I get matches all the time.

DenverBunny.... So clearly said... That is we have a MATCH, we now only need to overcome the physical distance ))

[Bi****]

If I am understanding ding right. I can’t spank because of some filter set. And when I X that is not saying no? Is that correct?

What could be wrong with the tinder idea. Like. Dislike. And when two people like each other. Allow them to message. Seems simple.

[Bi****]

16 hours ago, CaraVirt said:

Hey @BigChanges,

Spanks are simply a way to show interest in someone’s profile. If both users spank each other, it creates a match.

If you see a message about sending a gift or upgrading, that’s related to messaging or contact permissions — not the spank itself. Some profiles have restrictions depending on membership type or settings.

Clicking “X” only means you’re not sending a spank at that moment. It doesn’t permanently block the person, and profiles can appear again depending on the system rotation.

You’re not being f@rced to reject someone — it just means that certain contact options require specific conditions (like a match or membership level).

Hope that clarifies how the feature works.

Greetings, Carmen FET Team

Carmen. I want you to realize that what you are saying isn’t correct. Let me explain exactly what happens and you tell me if it matches what you said. If I go to spanks and see the first person up. There are two options. X and Spank. Also I can click the person. Go to their profile and can there try and message. But the problem is that spanks screen. If I click spank (like) 90% of the time on anyone decent looking. Up pops a box that says buy a kinky gift. Which literally means nothing if you do. It takes your points and says nothing. I guess the gift went? But let’s say I refuse to buy a kinky gift (because I do. It’s worthless) then my only option is X. But I don’t want to say no to the person. I like them. If I go to the profile. Messages are never allowed. Also a person may be 35. And they say they are looking for a daddy dom and I can’t message them. Okay I’m sure they have their filters set against 46 year old 6’3 men who are single with the domination tag. So what is the point of that screen? You *** me to hit X on people that I like. Why would any algorithm show me them again. You said something totally different

[SylverLynx69]

Here it is. A spank is a way to get the other person's attention, BUT if that person has message filters on, you can't spank them, all you can do then is buy a gift. So, if you try to spank someone and you get the buy a gift option, they aren't accepting messages from just anyone. I always just close the app and reopen it later to get a new batch of "matches"

[jo****]

17 hours ago, BigChanges said:

Carmen. I want you to realize that what you are saying isn’t correct. Let me explain exactly what happens and you tell me if it matches what you said. If I go to spanks and see the first person up. There are two options. X and Spank. Also I can click the person. Go to their profile and can there try and message. But the problem is that spanks screen. If I click spank (like) 90% of the time on anyone decent looking. Up pops a box that says buy a kinky gift. Which literally means nothing if you do. It takes your points and says nothing. I guess the gift went? But let’s say I refuse to buy a kinky gift (because I do. It’s worthless) then my only option is X. But I don’t want to say no to the person. I like them. If I go to the profile. Messages are never allowed. Also a person may be 35. And they say they are looking for a daddy dom and I can’t message them. Okay I’m sure they have their filters set against 46 year old 6’3 men who are single with the domination tag. So what is the point of that screen? You *** me to hit X on people that I like. Why would any algorithm show me them again. You said something totally different

If you quit and come back later, they will show again. They get no indication from the “X” selection and it does not seem to affect any algorithm for future selections

[pu****]

I don't understand the spank thing on here either 😂 alot of people are silent bcs they don't understand

[Fo****]

It’s basically a way to say you have someone’s attention

[CaraVirt]

On 2/21/2026 at 7:01 AM, BigChanges said:

Let me explain exactly what happens and you tell me if it matches what you said.

Hey @BigChanges, I understand what you’re describing.

What you’re running into isn’t the spank function itself, but contact and messaging restrictions that depend on profile settings and membership conditions.

A spank is simply a signal of interest. The gift popup you’re seeing is related to messaging permissions — some users allow contact only via match, premium membership, or gifts. That part is separate from the spank itself.

Clicking “X” does not permanently reject someone or block them. It simply means you’re not sending a spank at that moment. Profiles can still appear again depending on system rotation.

So you’re not being f@rced to reject someone — you’re just encountering contact limitations that are based on user settings and platform structure.

Greetings, Carmen FET Team

[elon-sie]

In this site - a virtual smile... Otherwise: it's dangerous...

[Jo****]

9 hours ago, CaraVirt said:

Hey @BigChanges, I understand what you’re describing.

What you’re running into isn’t the spank function itself, but contact and messaging restrictions that depend on profile settings and membership conditions.

A spank is simply a signal of interest. The gift popup you’re seeing is related to messaging permissions — some users allow contact only via match, premium membership, or gifts. That part is separate from the spank itself.

Clicking “X” does not permanently reject someone or block them. It simply means you’re not sending a spank at that moment. Profiles can still appear again depending on system rotation.

So you’re not being f@rced to reject someone — you’re just encountering contact limitations that are based on user settings and platform structure.

Greetings, Carmen FET Team

That’s a whole lot of words for “Even if you pay for the feature, it still is not guaranteed to work.”

[Jo****]

This app was made to do one thing and one thing only. Capitalism. That’s all these things do. If someone wants a genuine connection they will see how ridiculous the features are and not use them. But some ppl are just here to look and be bothered. 

[ca****]

I wondered the same damn thing. But sometimes i can spank more than one person and other times i cant. I think im gonna erase this app

[Bi****]

The last three comments are all valid.

[Deleted Member]

I thought they make it so that you can actually message the person. You both have to click spank on each other

[Deleted Member]

Friday at 07:19 AM, cameron710808 said:

I wondered the same damn thing. But sometimes i can spank more than one person and other times i cant. I think im gonna erase this app

I deleted my account a year ago and erased the app. I started getting emails from the app saying I was getting messages last week. I'm only back on here because somehow my DELETED account became live again

[FE****]

18 minutes ago, purplpeopleeater said:

I thought they make it so that you can actually message the person. You both have to click spank on each other

Unlike other apps, the 'spank' isn't the only way to 'match' and also not the only way to open up messages.

[FE****]

21 minutes ago, purplpeopleeater said:

 

I deleted my account a year ago and erased the app. I started getting emails from the app saying I was getting messages last week. I'm only back on here because somehow my DELETED account became live again

When you request deletion, there are two stages: suspension and complete deletion.  Many choose the former and they then return.