Questions About Male Submission

[Annaa-5749]

Hi! First of all, thanks for reading! I am seeking information about male submission. Background: I'm new to dating after nearly two decades of being with the same person. So my sexual experience is limited, but I am not prudish or uninformed, as my job is in adult films (not performing, just the business end). 

I am dating someone new, and I adore him. He's a great person, and he has a preference to be submissive in bed, incorporating bondage. Given the things he says, it is apparent that he likes to be in a *** role, where he is controlled. I can do this for him from a practical standpoint, but the psychology behind it puzzles me to a point. I know that being submissive is very important to him, as he brought it up rather quickly. 

I know that the ideal answer to my questions would be to just ask him, and I have, but he just says that it makes sex more exciting for him, and he did not elaborate. 

What I'd love to ask male submissives is if they could be with someone long-term who was not willing to incorporate bondage into every sexual encounter, and also how much satisfaction would be muted due to not incorporating it. I know that he'd be fine with such a scenario, because he's very agreeable, but I have a personal hangup right now about not doing it, then feeling like he's not being fully satisfied. 

Thank you so much for reading! 

[andrew1971]

I enjoy being a sub.  However I also have sexual experiences that do not involve bondage and I am sexually satisfied.  Maybe once or twice a month, I really want to be tied up, dominated, or humiliated.  

My answer to your question would be, YES, I could be with someone long term and bondage does not have to be incorporated all the time.  It is possible.  Just don't forget it.  

[ey****]

for me - no, every situation doesn't have to involve kink etc.  but there are so many challenges within this.

If I was with someone I suspected didn't enjoy it. I'd feel I was forcing or manipulating them into it when they did.  I'd feel guilty.  It would certainly have challenges.

[love2besub]

On 3/12/2018 at 1:35 PM, AnnaA said:

Hi! First of all, thanks for reading! I am seeking information about male submission. Background: I'm new to dating after nearly two decades of being with the same person. So my sexual experience is limited, but I am not prudish or uninformed, as my job is in adult films (not performing, just the business end). 

I am dating someone new, and I adore him. He's a great person, and he has a preference to be submissive in bed, incorporating bondage. Given the things he says, it is apparent that he likes to be in a *** role, where he is controlled. I can do this for him from a practical standpoint, but the psychology behind it puzzles me to a point. I know that being submissive is very important to him, as he brought it up rather quickly. 

I know that the ideal answer to my questions would be to just ask him, and I have, but he just says that it makes sex more exciting for him, and he did not elaborate. 

What I'd love to ask male submissives is if they could be with someone long-term who was not willing to incorporate bondage into every sexual encounter, and also how much satisfaction would be muted due to not incorporating it. I know that he'd be fine with such a scenario, because he's very agreeable, but I have a personal hangup right now about not doing it, then feeling like he's not being fully satisfied. 

Thank you so much for reading! 

Thank you for asking! I completely understand! My wife and I just started trying out her being the Dominant person and being in a FLR. 

To answer your question, I’m going to have to answer it in two parts. Yes I know that I can. My wife and I have been married over a year and dating for three years. All my previous relationships I wasn’t practicing this. I’ve always been a pleasure, mind you. Honestly it wasn’t until I met my wife and we started to have sex that I started calling anyone “Master”. 

 

However, I might want to preference this by saying since I’m just started this is my answer. If he’s been in this type of D/s relationships then it might be something he will need st some point, even if it’s in short bursts. Everyone has needs. 

 

Finally, I am not sure if your asking what we find attractive of being a submissive male. If you are, I like the feeling of not knowing what’s going to happen next. But I’m a good way. I don’t know if when my wife comes home finally on Saturday if she’s going to let me cum or not. I don’t know if she does, will she make me “clean her up”. I don’t know if she’s going to tie me up and spank me. I just don’t know, and because of that it’s exciting. I could go into it further, but I think I have at least given you a little idea of why at least I like it.

 

 

[KinkyChef-69]

On 12/03/2018 at 5:35 PM, AnnaA said:

Hi! First of all, thanks for reading! I am seeking information about male submission. Background: I'm new to dating after nearly two decades of being with the same person. So my sexual experience is limited, but I am not prudish or uninformed, as my job is in adult films (not performing, just the business end). 

I am dating someone new, and I adore him. He's a great person, and he has a preference to be submissive in bed, incorporating bondage. Given the things he says, it is apparent that he likes to be in a *** role, where he is controlled. I can do this for him from a practical standpoint, but the psychology behind it puzzles me to a point. I know that being submissive is very important to him, as he brought it up rather quickly. 

I know that the ideal answer to my questions would be to just ask him, and I have, but he just says that it makes sex more exciting for him, and he did not elaborate. 

What I'd love to ask male submissives is if they could be with someone long-term who was not willing to incorporate bondage into every sexual encounter, and also how much satisfaction would be muted due to not incorporating it. I know that he'd be fine with such a scenario, because he's very agreeable, but I have a personal hangup right now about not doing it, then feeling like he's not being fully satisfied. 

Thank you so much for reading! 

 

[KinkyChef-69]

Everyone is different. Some people like to switch between sub and dom and role play. Some subs want to be the sub every time but only in the bedroom. Others want to be a sub as a lifestyle and be submissive at all time. If it excites you too, maybe you can find some common ground where both of you are getting what you want. Good luck:)

[subwb-5485]

I enjoy being submissive to women. Female led relationships are the only way for me.

[cincy11]

Be dominant and take charge and tell him you will do it your way.  My wife is dominant but will not do bondage, she teases and denies my orgasm for long periods of time and she makes me drink her pee every day.

[SubmarineBottom_15]

As anything, I would communicate, communicate, communicate.  Most submissives (like myself) enjoy serving and pleasing with little to no return (trust mainly)

Usually the dominant partner still wants to assure care is being applied to the relationship. I agree It's hard since a submissive is very agreeable however trust his responses. If he says he's ok and he's enjoying time with you then that's probably that :) just revisit and check in from time to time. 

[t-zer]

AnnaA, a true sub would be focused on your pleasure, not his. Sex the way you want it would be very satisfying for him if he knew you were enjoying it. If he pleases you well, reward him with some bondage from time to time.

He will be even more receptive if you firmly express this. "No bondage this time. This one is for my pleasure. If you do a good job I might reward you soon."

[ge****]

Saturday at 02:19 PM, t-zer said:

AnnaA, a true sub would be focused on your pleasure, not his. Sex the way you want it would be very satisfying for him if he knew you were enjoying it. If he pleases you well, reward him with some bondage from time to time.

He will be even more receptive if you firmly express this. "No bondage this time. This one is for my pleasure. If you do a good job I might reward you soon."

Sorry but I have to ask, even though the original post is 4 years old and I hope Anna has found the answers she was looking for by now - what for you is a "true sub"? And what is to way a "true sub" would be focused on the dominants pleasure?
.
Surely it comes down to the individual dynamic to determine what constitutes being "true" and what the specific focusses of that dynamic should be?
.
I'm a submissive, and consider myself to be "true" but only to myself, and any dominant I happen to be compatible with - and yes while "pleasing" forms part of my desires towards a dominant that doesn't necessarily have to equate to solely their pleasure. If my own pleasures weren't being met then we wouldn't be compatible.
.
In summary, I may be a submissive but that doesn't make me a doormat purely there for other people and without a mind and needs of my own either, and I don't think that makes me any less "true".

[Deleted Member]

I may be out if the norn here, but I enjoy submitting during play time. I am not a submissive person by nature and could never see myself in a 24/7 situation. I describe it like this, I only follow orders when I'm naked. 😁

[dook]

I just try to be as adventerous as we are able. Sometimes, simple mutual masturbation is the best thing. Sometimes< it's me being pegged in the yoga swing. Sometimes its simple intercourse and sometimes I am in full leather with a gag hung on the ceiling hook. It's all great