Ba**** Posted February 24 Basically just what the title said More meant as a thread for doms to argue about personal philosophy, but subs are of course also welcome to have opinions So how do you do and why?? Is do you need your punishment to have a point, like correcting unwanted behavior, or are you more the type to set up rules specifically to be broken so you can have some extra fun?? And where do you draw the line between just positive affirmation and a reward that needs to be earned?? Are you more casually relaxed or strictly high protocol??
Su**** Posted February 24 So, I’m a brat, a true brat, so it’s different but punishment always needs a point, otherwise it’s just funishment. Rules are made to be broken, but brats are made to be punished, I HATE it but adding a minute to my punishment every time I’m snippy again usually works after a few tries(usually standing on your toes against a wall saying sorry repeatedly). Rewards are always earned, I want a reward if I’m good in time out, after another treat, when we get home, after s3x, etc. I need highly strict, but patient. Otherwise my dom/me is just going to be ***ed off on my bad days. Positive affirmations are necessary, don’t need anything to be earned and are simple, pets, hugs, snuggling, hand holding etc. forms of affection are always a standard, not earned .
Ki**** Posted February 24 I’m new to this lifestyle and I read a lot about it but I’m still looking for a Dom to help me
La**** Posted February 24 I’m not into brat so I do punishment as a statement to make them actually won’t repeat the said behavior ever again. Mostly strict high protocol. But I can adjust punishment according to the situation that leads to mistakes or can give pass depending on the seriousness degree of the said task. Positive affirmations/affections are something that I just do casually and naturally. So it would be expected by my subs. However, rewards (gifts or something they highly fond of) will only be given if they actually solved the tasks in a very good execution.
Deleted Member Posted February 24 You already start pretty much wrong because asking “Doms” instead of subs, who knows more how to do it correctly than a sub? This tells me too much about your way as a “dom” which is not positive at all.
Lu**** Posted February 24 gothi princess missed the point. this is not the place to put your militance. thats clearly, obviously a question for the ones applying correction/punishment, not for the ones subjeted to it or its reaction. Youve just showed what a brat you are . No one cares how YOU see a Dom with that negative brat mentality. Who the fuck ask a sub how /why he applies punishment ?! Bratty behavior just boring
Iv**** Posted February 24 2 hours ago, gothic_princess said: You already start pretty much wrong because asking “Doms” instead of subs, who knows more how to do it correctly than a sub? This tells me too much about your way as a “dom” which is not positive at all. Well, I'm new to the scene and finding out I'm on the bratty side. So for me would be actually good to find out what the true Doms are doing and why. When researching, there's a lot of brat info, but not so much about Doms, so this conversation can be helpful.
Ba**** Posted February 24 Author 3 hours ago, gothic_princess said: You already start pretty much wrong because asking “Doms” instead of subs, who knows more how to do it correctly than a sub? This tells me too much about your way as a “dom” which is not positive at all. Well First most information about “how to ‘dom correctly’” you can find comes from subs, it’s comparatively kind of rare to find doms from wildly different specialty field exchanging ideas and philosophies on how to approach some of the more universal topics Second the scenes are usually build for and around the sub which tends to shrink your perspective on the “how and why” i’m curious about, there are some vastly intentions and motivations that can basically look be quite similar experiences on their end, you determine if the “***ter” is good by looking at the finished “***ting” while i’m asking about “colour composition” here Third i explicitly welcomed you to your part of the picture soo…, i’m not trying to be dismissive or condescending but it would have been great if you shared your actual opinion on the topic instead And lastly i’m interested to know what kind of dom you think i am based on me asking the smaller “half” of our community a really broad question officially for the purpose of starting a larger discussion Be as brutally honest as you like and i’ll tell you how close you got just as honestly, thou i’ll try to stay “nice” but on topic
Ba**** Posted February 24 Author 5 hours ago, SunniBunni said: So, I’m a brat, a true brat, so it’s different but punishment always needs a point, otherwise it’s just funishment. Rules are made to be broken, but brats are made to be punished, I HATE it but adding a minute to my punishment every time I’m snippy again usually works after a few tries(usually standing on your toes against a wall saying sorry repeatedly). Rewards are always earned, I want a reward if I’m good in time out, after another treat, when we get home, after s3x, etc. I need highly strict, but patient. Otherwise my dom/me is just going to be ***ed off on my bad days. Positive affirmations are necessary, don’t need anything to be earned and are simple, pets, hugs, snuggling, hand holding etc. forms of affection are always a standard, not earned . Well i’m a bit too calm and relaxed, so i really appreciate brats and generally more active subs that openly demand their space and attention With the more quiet and passive ones i tend to start assuming that i neglect them I don’t have a binary view of punishment vs funishment, to me it’s more a three categories situation 1) things that are not wanted or fun for the sub(within their boundaries of course), usually something boring that requires just enough attention that they cant afford to think about anything else Exclusively for crossing boundaries i made sure they know they shouldn’t (basically the “statement” @Lady_King mentioned) 2) the rules we set up/they requested to not be broken, here i would include thing they need in the dynamic or things they want to work on bad habits/build new good ones instead and need some extra motivation and support (i assume most of your “punishment” punishments would be in this category) 3) the rules set up to be broken, basically the poke here for a free spanking button or consolation prize for a failed random challenge(mostly what i think you mean when you say “funishment”) But i would also list 3) more under rewards and am mostly flexible on what potential rewards could be but it’s all gonna be things they really like up to and including things I don’t(as a personal example, I don’t like blowjobs and i rarely enjoy them but i can tolerate one in this context), and if i fuck up somewhere even if it wasn’t a problem for them(even if they caused it) i let them choose something as well On the positive affirmation side i’m not really that good, verbal affirmation is so unnatural to me that i need my partner to specifically ask for what they want to hear and when for quite a while until i get used to the right rhythm But luckily all the examples you gave are things i like to do to let out my more possessive side soo… yeah the only area where i’m happy to be misunderstood^^
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