jinxed Posted March 9 (edited) The first time I saw you, I recoiled a little. Of course I had seen your pictures, had gotten used to looking at your wild beard, your huge arms inked with symbols of war and death, your bulging chest and that stony look on your face. But with you standing right in front of me, all I could sense was danger. You stayed calm despite the nervousness that gripped me and showed in my antsy and hectic behaviour. Undeterred, you kept pursuing your goal: conquering me. And so I became your spoil. Spending time with you means being constantly at risk of falling prey to you. Any given moment, your hand may grab my neck, squeezing it for a few seconds, to then suddenly let go, just because you love the chortling sound I make as my body realises that it can breathe again. In seconds you may turn from my cushy pillow into a wild beast, grappling me, pushing my head down, suffocating me, subjugating me. Out of necessity, I have learned how to put up a fight, how to protect my most delicate body parts and how to use my safe word. This afternoon has been no exception to this game. Bruises and scratches all over my body are evidence of my many attempts to escape your onslaught. My reddened cheeks and your cum running down my legs are proof of your perseverance and ultimate triumph. I'm allowed one safe haven in your house and I enter the bathroom in this state, shaking my head in smiling disbelief that I have survived your untamable savageness once again. Episodes that have happened just moments ago are replaying in my head. Your hand grabbing both my wrists so hard that I *** you might break them. Your breath in my ear, heavy but steady, reminding me of your determination. Your elbow in my neck, pressing my face into a cushion, while your fingers are fucking me recklessly and incessantly. Eventually your fist in my hair, your sweat on my back, your dick in my pussy. Knocks on the door interrupt my reminiscing and make me squint in suspicion. You never disturb me in here. This is my safe place. The only possible explanation I can find is that you urgently need some ointment from your cupboard, my resistance will have left traces too. I turn the key and open the door a tiny bit. It all happens so fast! A grimace is staring at me, white bones on black cloth. It makes me stumble backwards, causes my heart to stop and my eyes to widen in terror. This isn't just any fe@r, it's actual fe@r for my life that is running through me. It paralyses me long enough for you to throw the door open, grab the back of my neck and push me forward towards the sink. By now I realise what is about to happen. You have been listening closely when I told you about a fantasy of mine a while ago and you will fulfill it in the only way you know how to. While still using the hold of my neck to keep me immobile, you turn on the tab with your other hand and plug the drain. I can see the water rising, carrying with it some remains of your last shave. With you there is no squeaky clean version, only the feral one. You move closer and I can feel your belly pushing against my back as you start bending my head down. My hands find the edge of the sink and I push my elbows against my ribcage to stop any advance of yours, but with one quick embrace, you snap my arms back, making me fall forward, submerging my face in the cold and murky water. Everything falls silent. I'm entering a state of serenity and there is no more fe@r. It feels like my whole body is floating and I don't want it to stop. Your hand has moved to the back of my head by now, but you don't need any strength to keep me down, I'm giving myself up to you, to the water, to this stillness. I cannot tell how long I've been in this parallel universe, but everything in me starts to protest as you grab my hair to pull me back up. A loud gasp as I deeply inhale shows you that I'm ready for more and you release me once again. In this moment, I love you in a way that I have never loved a man before. It is surrender mixed with gratitude sprinkled with adoration. When I kneel in front of you some minutes later with my mouth open, waiting for you to fill it with your cum, I am still in a daze. I look at your beautiful eyes, your awe-inspiring body, your unruly facial hair and I realise that what I feel is devotion. When the warm and gooey liquid runs over my tongue, I cherish it and keep it in my mouth until you tell me to swallow it. For this moment, there is no more need to overpower me. For now, I place myself at your mercy. Edited March 9 by jinxed
SE**** Posted March 10 I almost never read people's stories but I have a cat named Loki no shit only reason
Wi**** Posted March 10 What you experienced is something that new people without your experience need to approach slowly. There is danger and real danger, and it takes experience in the Dom and the submissive to go right up to the chasm and look in and be able to return again. Hopefully,some new people will read this and understand these things come gradually with experience, trust, and respect.
jinxed Posted March 10 Author Thank you for this comment. I wish I had been experienced when it happened. Instead I was very naive. And lucky. And yet, when I wrote about this - as you rightfully point out - very dangerous situation, it turned into a declaration of love for the man who made it happen. Even though he wasn't always able to show the necessary amount of respect for my body and health. Writing about this and receiving feedback as yours helps to get a different perspective, so thank you again.
Wi**** Posted March 11 20 hours ago, jinxed said: Thank you for this comment. I wish I had been experienced when it happened. Instead I was very naive. And lucky. And yet, when I wrote about this - as you rightfully point out - very dangerous situation, it turned into a declaration of love for the man who made it happen. Even though he wasn't always able to show the necessary amount of respect for my body and health. Writing about this and receiving feedback as yours helps to get a different perspective, so thank you again. There's a lot of dangerous people hiding in the BDSM community worldwide. I think we should all use caution and be upfront and honest about what we will and won't do. Im guessing that if he didn't show proper respect for your body and health, he probably wasn't big on aftercare either. You speak of him in past tense, do I presume correctly that you are no longer with him, Everyone has the right to have it their way. I just hope that new people coming into this community understand that you don't have to have everything all at once. Besides BDSM is kind of like getting a huge box of candy. Some should really be savored. jinxed, I hope to see you write more topics. I think you have a lot to share. Be Well and Best Wishes
Recommended Posts