Nuanced Emotional Intelligence?

[Ba****]

crap t.e.e.n got censored

[bi****]

I look for proper communication and the ability to help me understand each other faults to improve the relationship

[mi****]

All the time work trick to you ;

Ask them if how to draw loneliness. (if you don't know how you can pass this subject => when there is a silence for a few seconds and need new subject ; talk about every artist ***t they're loneliness. If you have a chance how you draw loneliness?)

But important don't give them a pencil or ***t to do. Ask them what you wanna draw tell me like a scene. How they telling you the scene and what is the scene they discribe is so important. They're describing who they are when there is nobody around and no need to roleplay. What they think at nights .

Ask details and after ask for describe more ***tings... like open a exhibition with this subject. Don't be afraid of getting many answers more. They are gonna tell you different story and describe environment with different groups of people (with family, at home, office, school, outside what they are doing in between different groups like friends, close friend, siblings, parents) just picture the moment in your mind like a real artwork and think what that symbolic scene tell you? (yeah because gonna be symbolic and you gonna try to understand the symbols meaning with objective mind)

If you don't trust yourself about being able to empathise the situation or reading to symbols ; try on yourself this trick first. Don't worry, when you add more details in your dreams you gonna know how to read symbolism anymore.

They gonna describe how they feel at the daily life. After when you ask more scene they gonna show you what they ***, love, worry about, ethical positions in some situations...

Empathise the situations and be objective to yourself. How you understand someone you be inclined to legitimize and accept but just ask is all they're personality match with yours?

Don't think with your lonely side and try to believe. Think clearly and be logical. If you be objective and not ready to believe everyone telling with symbols and details who they are all the time.
You just gonna look clearly and think that's all. They giving you with posture and choise of words actually.

[To****]

Consideration of how I feel about something

[bu****]

Understanding the conversation, body language being aware of the persons feelings and yours as well

[Deleted Member]

Honestly this is a big key question. Especially when a common sense amount of people. Should be asking themselves these very questions. In an attempt to learn true reciprocating effort. I know the very same feeling. Kinda sad to see how people would spend the effort of time, into the robots, and AI. When the same effort could've attracted, or provided something that could be related. Possibly even expanded many peoples perception, such as this very post.

I refuse to replace a person with an AI. Though that leaves the hole anyone could relate similarly. The main issue in this field is probably the very same experience a lot of us holding back can't get past.

[Do****]

Are they aware of their emotion state when they aren’t happy? Do they acknowledge those feelings and know how to talk about them? Do they know the best way they cope with emotions when things aren’t going well or even when they are going perfectly. It starts with empathy and knowing how your actions may affect others. It takes a lot of growing for some men and women to achieve this state of awareness, some never accomplish this feat. I do not have a detector to point you to them but I’d imagine they typically can distinguish those they like and seek them while actively avoiding those that aren’t compatible. If you’re having trouble finding them, maybe look again to see if it may be something you have in your aura that makes those men choose others. Not a dig at you personally, just sometimes it’s ourselves keeping us from that happiness.

[Ar****]

For me it is not things I look for, but overall learning to be in tune with the other. Learning them intuitively until it feels like telepathy.

[Deleted Member]

What’s emotional intelligence?🫣

[tu****]

Not letting their emotions lead their mind to anger or not being able to talk about something and disagree without it being a big ordeal

[Pi****]

I hear you. It takes a lot of patience and vetting. So far, about 90% of folks who initially show interest bounce pretty quickly. I try to be understanding because I’ve had my moments too, but there is just so much misrepresentation, particularly on the dating apps-and here too, where honestly I feel like we should have an easier time finding mature, like minded people.

[Va****]

Self-reflection, empathy and accountability! "Hey, I was thinking about how I handled that situation. I see how my having a hard day coloured how I reacted, and it makes sense that you would feel (insert feeling). If roles were reversed, I would feel the same way. I'm sorry for my role in what happened. I want to take better care of our relationship than that. I will try to be more aware, in the moment, of whether or not I'm in the right headspace to engage, or if I need to take a moment to become better regulated first." Reflection, acknowledgement of regrettable action, remorse, role reversal and empathy, action plan to improve, care for relationship/partner. All lead to more stability and emotional bonding. Follow through is important here too. Saying it and then not actually internalizing or changing behaviours is a breach of trust.

(And my apologies, those are examples of things I look for more than anything else. I seem to always find myself dating emotionally unavailable folks. Lol Celibate one year now myself, but learning a lot, working on what I can control, and how to spot green flags instead of chasing all the red ones waving around me. 🤣)

[Va****]

Or like "Hey, I'm not a big fan of what's going on right now. It's bringing up some strong emotions for me. I'm gonna take a minute to deescalate myself so I can figure out what the emotion is telling me and what my needs are around it. I don't want to say or do something I'll regret." And then they come back and say like "So in that moment I was feeling angry. I thought about it and the anger was because I needed clarity to understand things better, and when I asked for it, I didn't feel heard. It felt like my needs didn't matter and the anger was defensive. Before we continue, I'd really like that clarity so I can understand better. Without it, I'm not willing to continue." Boundaries, needs assessment, deescalation, communication. So good. I actually have had partners/friends do this.

[Ba****]

2 hours ago, 253Daddy said:

What’s emotional intelligence?🫣

Well it used to be just the ability to recognize emotions in yourself and others, so around 1/3 of what is usually meant by „self-reflection“ and around 1/4 of what is usually meant by „social awareness“
But the popular usage seems to have expanded it by quite a lot since last time i checked, in this thread you can find examples that aren’t even partially related to emotions

[Vy****]

59 minutes ago, Barthold said:

Well it used to be just the ability to recognize emotions in yourself and others, so around 1/3 of what is usually meant by „self-reflection“ and around 1/4 of what is usually meant by „social awareness“
But the popular usage seems to have expanded it by quite a lot since last time i checked, in this thread you can find examples that aren’t even partially related to emotions

It is more so a problem of people conflating emotional intelligence, emotional availability and some other individual traits/actions that are more related to compassion or other social contructs that may originate from entirely different places than either of the above. The actual definition is quite clear, people just don't know it and make it whatever they feel it means.
Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize emotions in yourself and others. It is also your capacity to self-regulate your own emotions, such as recognizing an emotional outburst before it manifests and be able to calm down and look at it for what it is. Emotional Intelligence is also about your ability to utilize emotions to manage social interactions.
Note that it only recognizes analytical ability, Impulse control and effectiveness in navigating social interactions. It has no component that recognizes the person actually feeling anything or meaning anything by it. That is where the line to things like emotional availability starts to appear. Emotional availability can be faked of course, but it requires you to actively deceive others to be perceived as such, whereas almost all high-functioning narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths would likely be considered as emotionally intelligent, while in the same turn people with ADHD or BPD may be regarded as not as emotionally intelligent due to their lack of impulse control, even though the colloquial understanding of EQ should be the complete opposite.

[ne****]

Emotional intelligence is a lot to ask for in a man. The majority of us are taught from Birth that Emotions are never allowed.

[Mi****]

Compassion for weaker things, a drive to protect things based purely what you feel is right driving you to act. Integrity.

[Ba****]

4 hours ago, newark433964 said:

Emotional intelligence is a lot to ask for in a man. The majority of us are taught from Birth that Emotions are never allowed.

Ok how would the stereotypical man control his excessive anger without any emotional intelligence??
How do you suppress emotions you can’t recognize??
Where you actually conditioned from birth to not have emotions or where you taught from childhood to just not outwardly express them??

[fl****]

The quickest* way is to see if someone was emotional intelligent: whether what they say aligns with their behaviour and how quickly they respond to taking accountability for the actions of the behaviour.

Proceed with curiosity and judge by how they react and how much accountability they have for their actions.

*this requires you to also be introspective - do your own behaviours and words line up?

[Deleted Member]

emotional intelligence is 100% a scam

[Deleted Member]

fine for people who think everything should be a business summit

[Deleted Member]

Basically just communicating ones thoughts, feelings and frustrations efficiently and working to come to a solution that benefits both parties. Is also capable of difficult decisions where ones disadvantaged but prepared for it before hand due to said communication.

[Ba****]

1 hour ago, skdndnd said:

emotional intelligence is 100% a scam

„EQ“ is the scam
„Emotional intelligence“ is(or at least used to be) just a subsection of self- and social-awareness
Looking around here it seems to mean whatever people want it to

[Deleted Member]

Friday at 06:23 AM, VegasUncut said:

I look at how they listen; to music, people, loved ones. Conversation is important to me, and I've noticed people trail off very quickly, when the topic disinterests them, but isn't necessarily disinteresting.

I've been on a 3yr streak, myself, as no one seems to be able to wait one pay period, to hold a "relationship" 🤣👀

This is similar to what I do, I listen and observe and I engage, because what else can you do?

[La****]

These people still exist. But, they are extremely rare. I blame it on the shift on societal culture where individualism and (fake) stoicism are pushed to the core immature unhealed people would got influenced into somewhat an entitled narcissistic pig. Unfortunately, the way you would recognize empathetic and genuine people are only with talking and spend a long time with them. Make difficult conversations about social issues. Someone’s political stance says a lot abt a person. When you got disagreement, pay attention to the way they navigate the anger and conflict. If they still can keep the right mind, and controlled behavior—they’re most likely good. The kindest people are usually loners though. Bcs they’ve known enough and wise enough to not fight with what they can’t change (society). Go to your local wholesome community like *** shelters, elderly/*** care, environmental movement.. they usually gravitate towards these cause. Do not get discouraged. You will find your tribe. Good luck.