Priority or not

[Da****]

Have been having a ldr with a woman 100 miles away since October. We had been friends for years and I was there as she was getting sober. Was there when she was going through her divorce. She came out to me that she wanted a d/s relationship with me and it was good we have visited each other a few times when life let us. Then she had to step into a store management position at work. At first it was good I know she has new responsibilities and the like. Though in the last month communication has become spotty. She said she had a rough week..next it was as soon as I have a moment and now have a message un read for 48 hours. I know work is stressing her..we all have a life.. I also k ow when she does respond she will be apologetic. Here is my question.. be you dom, sub, poly or whichever, how do you handle the feeling that you are slipping lower on the priority list? Can it be fixed or what is your thoughtful approach?

[Br****]

Asking for one message a day isn't much. Writing something like 'Today was tough. Hopefully tomorrow will be better' takes less than one minute, but shows a continued connection with others. Not responding for 48 hours isn't good. I will mostly try for a week, and afterwards I will write a message saying that I am stepping back, but giving the other person the opportunity to write to me whenever they feel ready to get back in touch. No pressure. Then it's up to them, but I can move on and not worry anymore. For me, it's about self-respect and setting boundaries. Even if life is tough, finding one minute a day to write a short message shouldn't be too much to ask and should be the bare minimum.

[Vy****]

Hm honestly, it really depends on your situation and your specific relationship. What kind of life your partner lives as well as how things used to be.
If she used to respond right away and usually checks her phone/uses it all day and she doesn't respond....unless something major changes or there is something big that you do not know about....it is probably best to consider the relationship to be kind of over ngl.
You need to provide more info for better advice.

If she rarely checks her phone anyways, works 15h a day and has other things going on....she might just be busy. If she regularly checks her phone, has regular work hours and nothing else really tying her down....you are too much of a hassle to respond to and that is a good sign you should find someone else.

Very different situations as you can see. Wait until she has a day off, then, call her, or drop by and tell her how you feel and ask her straight up what's up and whether or not she wants to end the relationship. If she is that busy....find a way to make time for each other. Otherwise do yourself and favor and find someone else.

But that is just my viewpoint. I'm a very direct and straightforward person. If you are ppl who are used to beat around the bush, you might need to be more subtle.

[23****]

You can always reply in a day.. toilet time or just a minute...if your partner cant/ doesn want to..then talk about it...

Ask her..and tell how u feel about it

[Se****]

This is going to sound brutal and it really isn’t meant to. I am a strong believer in “if they wanted to they would”, I do believe that if people want to be in contact with someone they will be and they will take time to explain if/why they can’t be. That said (and I am NOT saying that this is the case here) I am also very aware of how certain situations/illnesses can affect a person and despite being desperate to read or respond to a message or reach out they are wholly unable to do so for reasons that may make no sense to others.

Personally, I think the best way forward would be to have an open, honest conversation with them regarding how you’re feeling and what you need from the relationship/communication to enable it to continue. Things like this can escalate and fester quickly and easily - if there are genuine reasons for communication slowing then you will know and be able to adjust your expectations or walk away if your needs can’t be met, if the reason is lack of interest then opening the communication may give her a chance to tell you what she’s feeling.

[Ed****]

What she do with her time is her problem, the better question would be, what would you want to do when you have someone in life like this?

Being a dom might crave structure but also be aware that you are crave that spike of excitement when you were with her.

Stepping back from the whole D/s situation, and ask yourself, if you have someone else available in life that live closer and more stable, will she be the one you still miss?

[St****]

does she have like any like mental problems like anxiety depression and chronic impression maybe on PTSD cpsd see his friend anything like that like that will cost her to kind of dissociate maybe and miss her messages and not read her you know

[my****]

It sounds like you are slipping lower. A hundred miles is a fair distance to maintain. Some will say it’s nothing and they drive that far for coffee, but it’s probably two hours plus out of your life every time one of you travels. So that can suck. I’ve done LD more times than I want to think about and it always ends like this. Sooner or later one person or the other slips away and wants more. The best advice will be to talk it out. Explain that you’re feeling like you’re not a priority to her and ask her how she feels. This will probably be the end, but there is no reason to drag things out. Few things are worse than that moment in the dynamic when the sub begins to pull back the power she has given you. It feels like being unmade.

[pr****]

Man follow your gut. Sounds like you already know the truth. On to the next one.

[Ta****]

I agree with @pretzelFolder, time to let her go brother. I know it’s difficult but the longer you take to accept it, the longer will take you to find someone that wants to be with you.

[ka****]

People make time for what they want to make time for. I also learned this the hard way.