jinxed Posted Saturday at 10:16 PM (edited) I'm fuzzy-headed. There are no clear memories of how it all happened. Not of how I got undressed and how you put this chunky metal chain around my neck, nor of how I ended up on all fours with my right shoulder and hip resting against the edge of the sofa. Your feet, which are propped up on my lower back, are lighter than I expect and in lack of a more challenging task, I begin to play my own game. Pretending that my legs suddenly slacken, I let my knees give way to unbalance you and take your attention away from the seventies spy film you are watching. Every time you react with a pull on the chain that pinches the skin of my neck where the last link presses against the ones running through it. I keep repeating this procedure for both the exhilarating sharp p@in on my skin and the joy it brings me to make your legs tumble each unexpected round. *** The last minutes - or hours? - are blurred into an impenetrable haze. There's only now. My knees press against a wiry rug, my fingertips are barely touching the ground. The chain has become a noose from which I am dangling. Judging by the stiffness in my joints, I must have been in this position for a while. Instead of the sofa, I now find the patio door to my right, with the darkness outside serving as the accomplice to your deed. As I turn to the left, I see your leg right next to my face. My gaze follows the line of the chain as it ascends towards your shoulder to then descend into your hand. Your eyes are untraceable as you are focused on perpetually striking my most sensitive areas with the nine-tailed whip. But the expression on your face speaks of more than focus. Alarmed, I understand that you are lost in the circular momentum of the whip, in the slapping sound it makes when it hits its soft target, in becoming one with the motion. I want to speak to you, shout at you, but no sound gets past the seal created by the chain compressing my neck, cutting into my larynx from the front and my spine in the back. Physically I am numb, hardly registering the frantic whiplashes, feeling only the slightest pull of gravity on my body. My thoughts, however, are racing around two alternating questions: How do I stop him? Do I stop him? It isn't hard to admit to myself how strong the temptation is. Still caught in this internal debate, two growing pitch-black rings sneak up on me. When I notice them, they surround my eyes fully and have already swallowed up far too many millimetres on their way towards the pupils. All rational thoughts dissolve. Something within me starts to fight for survival. Lika a bow being drawn, I can feel my life f0rce charging, stretching further and further to then finally shoot out all of its power in one ultimate attempt to stay alive. As the black is about to take the last bit of my sight, I hear myself breathing your name. - You drop the chain. I fall onto my hands. Breathe. Rip the chain from my neck. Crumble. Roll onto my back. Bury my face in my hands and start to sob uncontrollably. Shock mixes with a profound sense of loneliness. I don't only feel all alone, I want to be all alone. So when your arms slide under my back and thighs to lift me up, I want to scream and flail. Out comes nothing but more tears. I feel like throwing up when you carry me to the sofa, sit down with me in your arms, place me in your lap and put my head on your shoulder. I cannot understand that you don't see the absurdity of the situation! I am supposed to find consolation in your deadly embrace! The contempt I feel for you still doesn't have the power to help me free myself and move away from you. A physical and mental overload keeps me immobile. I am stuck. *** For months, those potential last moments attack me, over and over, making me jump and gasp for air. I try to forgive you, want to move on. Instead, I'm beginning to see clearly. Finally. Edited Saturday at 10:19 PM by jinxed
ar**** Posted Sunday at 02:29 AM (edited) Well written, nice ***ting pictures with words to get atmosshpere. Sadly about a toxic, unexperienced or ego driven dynamic. Edited Sunday at 02:41 AM by artistic
Wi**** Posted Sunday at 03:17 AM The very reason that mentorship is important. That's the kind of rookie mistake made by someone calling themselves a Dom to soon. It's the duty and responsibility of anyone who takes on the responsibility of Dominant to make sure that safety is first and foremost. Getting lost in the moment is dangerous and can easily end in a fatality. That's not what BDSM should be like. Where's the respect, diligence, responsibility, care, and caution? I know it's just a story, but it's more than a story. It sounds like experience as well. But importantly, it's a warning to the inexperienced. It's just that easy for someone to get hurt or killed. It's a guaranteed way to cause a loss of respect. Thank you. You always manage to write in a way that is not only amazingly professional but educational without saying so.
ar**** Posted Sunday at 03:33 AM 16 minutes ago, Windwolf said: The very reason that mentorship is important. That's the kind of rookie mistake made by someone calling themselves a Dom to soon. It's the duty and responsibility of anyone who takes on the responsibility of Dominant to make sure that safety is first and foremost. Getting lost in the moment is dangerous and can easily end in a fatality. That's not what BDSM should be like. Where's the respect, diligence, responsibility, care, and caution? I know it's just a story, but it's more than a story. It sounds like experience as well. But importantly, it's a warning to the inexperienced. It's just that easy for someone to get hurt or killed. It's a guaranteed way to cause a loss of respect. Thank you. You always manage to write in a way that is not only amazingly professional but educational without saying so. Exactly my point..but is she ( the girl in the story ) really undertand it and left..or the opposite?
jinxed Posted Sunday at 08:12 AM Author @Windwolf Again you're getting right to the heart of it. The 'rookie mistake' as you call it was made on both sides though. Yes, the person in control needs to stay just that - in control. But carelessly giving control to whoever is willing to take it, is an easy but mainly a pretty reckless thing to do. The texts help me to understand what happened but if they help someone else not make the same mistakes, that would of course be amazing. Whether someone, who is still in such need for intimacy that they take it in whatever form it's offered, will find this text and actually understand it, is - to put it mildly - doubtful.
Wi**** Posted Sunday at 05:15 PM 9 hours ago, jinxed said: @Windwolf Again you're getting right to the heart of it. The 'rookie mistake' as you call it was made on both sides though. Yes, the person in control needs to stay just that - in control. But carelessly giving control to whoever is willing to take it, is an easy but mainly a pretty reckless thing to do. The texts help me to understand what happened but if they help someone else not make the same mistakes, that would of course be amazing. Whether someone, who is still in such need for intimacy that they take it in whatever form it's offered, will find this text and actually understand it, is - to put it mildly - doubtful. You are right. Unfortunately, most new people will think that will never happen to me. I believe the ones who will pay most attention are the ones who have had an experience that scared them a bit. It will ring a warning bell and make them think harder and pay closer attention. Getting a little scared isn't always enough Sometimes, it takes more. But an experience like you described may prevent someone from experiencing a trauma that could stay with them for a lifetime. A near death experience isn't something that someone just forgets about. That's the kind of experience that will still be waking you up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.
Wi**** Posted Sunday at 05:29 PM 9 hours ago, jinxed said: @Windwolf Again you're getting right to the heart of it. The 'rookie mistake' as you call it was made on both sides though. Yes, the person in control needs to stay just that - in control. But carelessly giving control to whoever is willing to take it, is an easy but mainly a pretty reckless thing to do. The texts help me to understand what happened but if they help someone else not make the same mistakes, that would of course be amazing. Whether someone, who is still in such need for intimacy that they take it in whatever form it's offered, will find this text and actually understand it, is - to put it mildly - doubtful. Have you thought about starting a topic in the forum? I would think that's one of the first places that new people would go.
Recommended Posts