What am I being offered by long distance service?

[Do****]

I have men messaging me from hundreds or thousands of miles away offering to serve me. What does that mean? When I ask, they say “anything you ask” almost invariably. That is a beyond useless answer, as useless as someone thousands of miles away when I specifically say I’m here for local (yes, I recognize it’s time to modify my criteria for who can message me).

Seriously, what would online service even look like? Are you going to be my virtual assistant? Make phone calls for me? Ask for my password so you can clear my junk emails? I don’t understand or maybe the ones offering this don’t understand what service is?

To me, and my general understanding, service is about making my life easier. Cleaning, cooking, errands, various tasks and chores. Am I missing something? Am I missing out on virtual tasks I could be having done for me?

Also, am I the only domme who’s annoyed by the answer “anything you ask”? Give me a menu of what you’re prepared to do right now and obviously if I want something I’m going ask/command if it’s within what has already been agreed to. Fellas, in general, if a woman has to ask she’s already annoyed with you - even in vanilla relationships. I’m not going to keep a sub who doesn’t learn my preferences and can’t look around and find something to offer to do for me. Offer is a key word here, make OFFERings or at least be clear you have a kink about asking annoying questions.

[ge****]

Tattooing this directly on my forehead. Amen.

[Mi****]

I’m inspired. When they say I would like to serve you. I will ask for a menu of services they would like to provide 😈🤷🏽

[Mi****]

13 minutes ago, Mitulsa said:

I’m inspired. When they say I would like to serve you. I will ask for a menu of services they would like to provide 😈🤷🏽

Love this!!

[Deleted Member]

It is my opinion that most of those people are scammers. There's women on here who do the same thing. They're just looking for someone desperate enough to take them and they're vagueness so that they can get an end to someone's life and run whatever scam they're doing.

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, 100finishlast said:

It is my opinion that most of those people are scammers. There's women on here who do the same thing. They're just looking for someone desperate enough to take them and they're vagueness so that they can get an end to someone's life and run whatever scam they're doing.

correction: they are looking for an "in" into someone's life.

[ey****]

I think this is important in the sense - even aside from the distance, kinda, how do we think we can benefit the other person.

I feel a little bit that there are men who would be happy for a woman to send them sexual pics and have dirty talk with them wherever they are, without ever meeting - and in the stupid brain think that would be somehow interesting to a woman.  Hence the "Anything you want"

and this is largely also where some of the online paid stuff comes from (which is, sadly, not permitted on this site) cos actually... you know what, you can serve me by contributing... in exchange yeah I'll give you silly tasks and wiggle my toes for you on cam now and then 

[Ma****]

They are just thirsty

[ki****]

Thirsty for the cum we can’t get when distance is involved 😔

[Ka****]

IMO they are just wanting to show You their junk so they can get off on it.

[Ap****]

The everything or nothing answer is a red flag to me in any relationship. They haven't put real effort into it. And along those lines when they word salad to rephrase a healthy relationship, on any dynamic vanilla or spicy. Yes we can agree a healthy relationship would be nice, but what does that look like specifically for you? Not very D or every s is the same.

Directly to what your question is? Ask them to file your taxes to start and maintain a non profit you think the world needs? But they are probably just looking for someone to tell them how and when to sexualize themselves.

In summary these vague answers come from people not ready and in love with the idea.

[sa****]

I know what you’re talking about. I get people from thousands of miles away but wanna talk but I can’t get somebody from the same town to talk

[mo****]

What their problem is, they don’t know how to read. I would think if you put a specific thing in your profile because if you’re asking for something within a certain distance or radius they would not reach out because they live in Tim buck two . and that specific quote makes absolute no sense because when you do command them to do some things either they take too long to respond or ask stupid question.

[li****]

tell em to pay your mortgage or car payment

[TheZenCommander]

As a Domme that takes both irl and virtual subs. There's plenty to offer from a distance, it just looks different. But most of the guys here are hoping you'll tell them what to do with their joystick. Bc they don't realize they often fall for men who are pretending to be women, and that's often what guys who trick guys want to see right away. Women tend to be a lot more subtle about this.

But to answer your question.... dynamics from afar can offer fantasy scenario, yes office type tasks, etc but for me I generally have them make daily offerings of poetry or music or something that I like to receive that gives me an emotional boost in my day. That's the key from afar, how can they feed your ego? And then yes, virtual sessions are possible with enough creativity. I can't give away alllllll my secrets. But, for those that are eager but living in areas without access to this community in their town, online dynamics can be quite satisfying. Better than nothing, for sure.

Most of our arousal happens in the mind. You're really missing out on the best stuff if you overlook that.

[Ju****]

They’re offering to send you ***.

[Ju****]

$$$

[oa****]

I’d just get ai and like the bank account. If it makes em happy 🤷🏻‍♂️

[wh****]

Alrighty so my creative wheels got spinnin’ while reading this and here’s what I’ve come up with:

For the servers reading this wrecking their brains on how to be a valuable virtual sub: offer something based on your experience/knowledge. Ie I’m in marketing, I’d offer to write your social media captions or if you’ve got a website I can help out there. Teacher? Spell check writings or emails. Love to cook? Send recipes.

And to the one and only DommeoftheDancefloor: let them send you reminders (you can easily start with minor things to see how well they do and build it up from there). Or create a meal plan + grocery list for the week. In line of what TheZenCommander said, let them send you daily affirmations or fun facts (if you like those ofc). Figure boring or dreadful things out that you can’t be bothered with. Use them as your personal ChatGPT.

Well, that’s all I’ve got to offer for now ;-) Good luck!

[wh****]

2 hours ago, KnightOwl93 said:

Well, your profile indicates severe mental illness, so it's no wonder you can't tell that they are trying to give you ***.

Well, your profile states that you’re an “experimentalist”. Maybe you should experiment with being a bit nicer, being quiet until you’ve got something worthy to say and in general just not being an asshole 😃

[ey****]

I think in general also.  

A kinda two way question

from a Domme perspective - what would I find useful from a distance sub?

and from a sub perspective - aside from "slave tasks" how could I be useful to a distance Domme?

And if the answer to the first question is "Nothing" then it really doesn't matter on the distance sub, they're not useful.  I guess if someone could some how demonstrate differently is different. But unlikely. 

And if the answer to the question is "I don't know" then there's less of a reason to reach out in the first place.

I think even aside from "Actually, I just want someone to talk to and have a wank or do free tasks" some do cling a little to the 90s fantasy of meeting someone through the internet, hooking up and living happily ever after - ignoring just how many of those relationships crashed and burned. But still.

I think I'd be wary of a distance sub who tries to insert themselves into your job/career - because I have seen people accept this help and then run into issues when the sub inevitably ghosts. I've seen even further problems when passwords needed to be shared and/or delegation action given.   And while subs can serve as personal reminders, so can most reminder apps and they DEFINITELY don't want anything in return.

By irony the folks who could find themselves most useful are the ones who just end up in enjoyable conversation for passive connections - and maybe that could bring extra value.  In those cases I guess the approach is more "I know you're several thousand miles away, but for reasons x, y, z you seem cool - can we chat?" then both some form of prompt to start the chat, or a postive attitude this isn't likely to be anything. Could still BE something if it brings both people genuine joy to chat.  But then the approach then isn't "Hi Mistress, I want to be your slave - I'll do anything" 

[Do****]

30 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think in general also.  

A kinda two way question

from a Domme perspective - what would I find useful from a distance sub?

and from a sub perspective - aside from "slave tasks" how could I be useful to a distance Domme?

And if the answer to the first question is "Nothing" then it really doesn't matter on the distance sub, they're not useful.  I guess if someone could some how demonstrate differently is different. But unlikely. 

And if the answer to the question is "I don't know" then there's less of a reason to reach out in the first place.

I think even aside from "Actually, I just want someone to talk to and have a wank or do free tasks" some do cling a little to the 90s fantasy of meeting someone through the internet, hooking up and living happily ever after - ignoring just how many of those relationships crashed and burned. But still.

I think I'd be wary of a distance sub who tries to insert themselves into your job/career - because I have seen people accept this help and then run into issues when the sub inevitably ghosts. I've seen even further problems when passwords needed to be shared and/or delegation action given.   And while subs can serve as personal reminders, so can most reminder apps and they DEFINITELY don't want anything in return.

By irony the folks who could find themselves most useful are the ones who just end up in enjoyable conversation for passive connections - and maybe that could bring extra value.  In those cases I guess the approach is more "I know you're several thousand miles away, but for reasons x, y, z you seem cool - can we chat?" then both some form of prompt to start the chat, or a postive attitude this isn't likely to be anything. Could still BE something if it brings both people genuine joy to chat.  But then the approach then isn't "Hi Mistress, I want to be your slave - I'll do anything" 

I LOVE your point about approaching from a distance with the intent to chat rather than serve. I’ve been chatting with two such men this morning, and I’ve been chatting with them for a while now. It’s connections like these that have made me hesitant to restrict my messaging to locals only.

It’s the approaches offering service or to be my slave or asking me to reconsider my stance on virtual subs that rub me the wrong way.

I enjoy a good chat if I vibe with the person. I even enjoy sharing photos for their wanks if I really vibe with them. I’m human, I love attention, but when attention is all it is there has to be real chemistry and enjoyment for me. I’m not an AI fetish machine, but it feels like a lot of men attempt to treat dommes that way (women in general for that matter).

This platform isn’t one where I’m going to ask for $ because I’m not going to risk my account when they censor the words related to it. I use other platforms for that. Those platforms are also why getting an ego boost in exchange for managing a sub isn’t worth it to me - I get ego boosts from the ones on other platforms and the ones I see in person. Assigning tasks take time and creative effort. I also don’t see ego boosts from subs as a service but something baked into the role.

And I’m definitely not giving my passwords to a random on the internet, that was a silly example for the comedy of the post to highlight what I see as the absurdity of the situation, though I know some people do this and that’s insane to me.

I’m happy to know I’m not the only one thinking this, and happy to open a discussion I hope is read by men who are frustrated because they aren’t being well received so they understand the importance of their approach and hopefully how to improve it to improve their chances of finding connection.

[Li****]

My experience like yours comes from distant mistresses making promises. My response is basically that I need physical contact to have pleasure & satisfaction.

[ch****]

I have women near me under 15 miles and they don't respond. Unfortunately it seems many on this site are 100's, if not 1,000's of miles away. Virtual is fun for an instant, but that is not why I am here.

[MistressWhipplash]

Online is boring. Boring needs pay to stick around. I personally solely like face-to-face long-term relationships as a poly Dominant Sadist Woman.