Underrated skills

[Deleted Member]

What’s a skill (not necessarily physical) that you think is underrated but makes a huge difference in a dynamic?

[Mi****]

Domestic skills, cooking especially. A well fed Dom is a happy Dom

[Ge****]

Being able to identify/anticipate your partners needs/desires before they even give voice to them

[fu****]

Listening to eachoter and respect eachoters wishes

[Lu****]

Patients, emotion intelligence, and the ability to communicate effectively

[Gr****]

Self-regulation.
If you can articulate your needs and advocate for yourself and manage your own emotions while going through a scene or engaging in a particular dynamic, it’ll better your ability to show up for your partner and hold the role or position they need from you.

Self-regulation bleeds into so many other aspects of a positive and effective dynamic too.

[Cade]

Consistency.

[Se****]

Listening

[Zis]

Not taking yourself that seriously, especially as a dom.

[Mihe88]

Empathie

[Ma****]

Communicating and not dictating

[No****]

The ability to take correction without getting defensive. On both sides of the dynamic.

[Lu****]

hmm..
i guess i like the process of conducting the mind to different states and feelings,
the ability to communicate and guide to a specifically mind state.

tying fast knots. lol

creativity in general.

[hot-springs206194]

Not being an asshole. That works for every dynamic.

[Sm****]

Nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills

[theSir_ObservingU]

emotional intelligence and holding space for yourself. cant hold space for someone if you cant hold space for your own emitons and process.

[jo****]

Mastery of language. I don’t know how many times I have opened my mouth to say something flowery and compelling and “… dur: you pretty” comes out

[La****]

Maturity. Emotional intelligence is extremely rare. There would be too much disconnect when someone cannot deal with their own feelings let alone understanding and engaging with others. The second one is intellectual depth. This doesn’t mean you need to be the next Einstein, but knowing things to talk abt and have further understanding about certain topics so you can hold conversations and discussions. There are a lot of subs but those who also have a seasoned soul are rare. I always deeply invested when Im lucky enough to find these gems.

[Gr****]

Being able to tie a cherry stem with your tongue.

[ic****]

Twisting Bavarian Pretzels.

[Ka****]

Patience. Calmness. Control of one’s self. Intelligence.

[el****]

1 hour ago, Lady_King said:

Maturity. Emotional intelligence is extremely rare. There would be too much disconnect when someone cannot deal with their own feelings let alone understanding and engaging with others. The second one is intellectual depth. This doesn’t mean you need to be the next Einstein, but knowing things to talk abt and have further understanding about certain topics so you can hold conversations and discussions. There are a lot of subs but those who also have a seasoned soul are rare. I always deeply invested when Im lucky enough to find these gems.

Lady_King said it best. But the conversation (at least for most women I think) is 90% of it. If that’s not healthy and intentional and intelligent, I’m probably not going to get very far. The best partners I’ve had could make me orgasm in about 5 minutes but the foreplay was mostly words. Not every woman is like that but it’s what works best for me.

[Ro****]

Communication and choosing each other every day

[an****]

I would have to say genuine curiosity. Nothing kills a vibe or conversation faster than it turning into an interview. One side asking all the questions and the other side just answers. This applies to all dynamics.

[Cr****]

Communication and emotional intelligence