💚Mental Heath Check

[sw****]

Instead of coming off this app I just wanted to check in on people's mental health on here and the addiction that can come out of it from the first time using the app. I suppose I am also coming from a place of seeing it in me too from the start. The likes and messages especially for the women. Inundated with notifications and for some people the neurospicy hyper fixations. But also for the men who can't stop checking and thinking and feeling sexually out of control. I would like to connect and also connect to people who may be going through similar things. I've seen some brave people put themselves out there and I thought I'd try to speak my own and listen to other people's truths too. It would be so easy just not to say anything and leave and I believe that is also very valid and for some people very much needed but I am a bit concerned for the support people may be lacking when first entering this world and exploring. It's not my issue to fix and I know that but maybe this will be helpful for others to hear that you are not alone? I know it can be crazy fun and there is balance to everything but when I hear people needing to take time away and having to have a mental health check it worries me and also it can also be devastating to lose connections who you have already built up so much trust and dynamic with to hear that they are suffering. I would appreciate any helpful advice from more experienced kinksters on how to better handle this or if anyone resonates with this at all? ♥️

Edited July 25 by switchMoksha

[Di****]

I mean, we're all kinda batshit anyway

[sw****]

1 minute ago, DivinelyDamaged said:

I mean, we're all kinda batshit anyway

So are you just saying the people that come off here are not and it wasn't supposed to be for them?

[da****]

What is normal

[na****]

At least u have connections

[DeviantInside]

It can be very easy to get very caught up with things when people first get involved on the scene, when everything is shiny, new and exciting. Which can and has lead people into situations they would otherwise avoid, some which have been dangerous or detrimental to the person involved. It’s partly why munches are a good option as a way to get to know people without kink being a factor, both as people and as a support network of different experiences to turn to when unsure. I genuinely believe the more the whole community talks the better as potential pit falls and red flags can be highlighted. Even after I got together with my partner I encouraged her to stay on here, chat to people and make friends, as having people you can talk to in the kink world is a good thing, especially if you don’t have that outlet in your normal vanilla life.

[sw****]

Thank you for your comment. It has been the most helpful and needed at this moment. I'm not sure how it would be received but I'm glad from the feedback some people have appreciated in saying so. You are totally right about being in community. I had not checked the forum out much previously as it seemed a bit overwhelming with the amount of information on there for me but talking to people is so important to feel that connection and feel in a safe space. I'm really open to people who are feeling the same to connect with me like some have. I appreciate you all. Thank you 💚

Edited July 25 by switchMoksha

[TKC-UK]

I think this will resonate with more people than you realise.

These apps can become overwhelming very quickly. The messages, likes, attention, possibilities and constant checking can take over before you notice it happening. But stepping back doesn’t necessarily mean you have to leave completely. Sometimes it simply means slowing everything down and taking control of how much access the app—and the people on it—have to your time and energy.

Not every message deserves an emotional response. If somebody or something doesn’t resonate with you, let it pass. It isn’t worth burning energy on. When somebody does feel worth your attention, stop and consider what you can realistically invest before giving too much of yourself away.

You always have to remain your own main priority.

Self-care is something we’re rarely taught properly, and what you’ve written feels like more than just an observation. Whether you realised it or not, it sounds a little like you’re asking for support, guidance and perhaps someone steady to lean on while you explore.

That isn’t unusual within this community. Some people have a trusted friend, mentor, protector or experienced kinkster they can speak to when everything becomes too much. Not someone who controls their choices, but someone grounded who helps them slow down, think clearly and stay safe while they find their feet.

The important thing is protecting yourself from overload and burnout. It sounds as though you’ve recognised that before reaching the point of crashing, which is a good thing.

The site has also introduced greeters for newer members for exactly this sort of reason. Not everybody takes up the offer, but they are there to help people navigate the community, answer questions and make the early stages feel less overwhelming.

You don’t have to absorb everything at once. Take what helps, leave what doesn’t, and move at a pace that still allows you to feel like yourself.

[GG****]

I would like to talk privately of that matter. I tried messaging you but messages won’t go through. Can you message me would definitely like to talk to you about this.

[sw****]

Yes I do recognise it for myself but also for others. Past and in the future. Thanks for your response. It's great to hear from you.

[vv****]

It can be rough. It’s important to step back and breathe, take some time for yourself and refocus on your intentions. It’s easy to get caught up in limerence in spaces like this. Being clear on your own standards and boundaries and holding them are key.
Eventually, you’ll feel that disappointment or heart ache and no matter the relationship whether it was just the talking phase, or something deeper, it’s important to take your time to grieve. Come back when you’re ready.
Be well everyone 🖤

[Sw****]

Not everyone uses this app the same way… we don’t all have the same expectations and like a good friend of mine said to me….. only put in what you’re getting out of it …. Your time is yours and how you choose to use it is the biggest part. So if constant notifications are demanding attention…. Turn them off… change your filter settings… be more boundary oriented and set in what you’re looking for. Not everyone deserves nor had earned a response from you.. and even then just because you were polite does not owe them anything . Do your vetting process daring and take your time. A good and strong dynamic is like a marathon of learning each other … 🥰

[sw****]

9 minutes ago, vvhitelie said:

It can be rough. It’s important to step back and breathe, take some time for yourself and refocus on your intentions. It’s easy to get caught up in limerence in spaces like this. Being clear on your own standards and boundaries and holding them are key.
Eventually, you’ll feel that disappointment or heart ache and no matter the relationship whether it was just the talking phase, or something deeper, it’s important to take your time to grieve. Come back when you’re ready.
Be well everyone 🖤

Thank you, very much appreciated.

[sw****]

9 minutes ago, SwitchtressJo said:

Not everyone uses this app the same way… we don’t all have the same expectations and like a good friend of mine said to me….. only put in what you’re getting out of it …. Your time is yours and how you choose to use it is the biggest part. So if constant notifications are demanding attention…. Turn them off… change your filter settings… be more boundary oriented and set in what you’re looking for. Not everyone deserves nor had earned a response from you.. and even then just because you were polite does not owe them anything . Do your vetting process daring and take your time. A good and strong dynamic is like a marathon of learning each other … 🥰

Thank you :)

[sw****]

27 minutes ago, GGDJDD said:

I would like to talk privately of that matter. I tried messaging you but messages won’t go through. Can you message me would definitely like to talk to you about this.

Yes I do recognise it for myself but also for others. Past and in the future. Thanks for your response. It's great to hear from you.

[sw****]

33 minutes ago, GGDJDD said:

I would like to talk privately of that matter. I tried messaging you but messages won’t go through. Can you message me would definitely like to talk to you about this.

Please do not connect just to ask for an invitation to my private gallery.

[sw****]

1 hour ago, DeviantInside said:

It can be very easy to get very caught up with things when people first get involved on the scene, when everything is shiny, new and exciting. Which can and has lead people into situations they would otherwise avoid, some which have been dangerous or detrimental to the person involved. It’s partly why munches are a good option as a way to get to know people without kink being a factor, both as people and as a support network of different experiences to turn to when unsure. I genuinely believe the more the whole community talks the better as potential pit falls and red flags can be highlighted. Even after I got together with my partner I encouraged her to stay on here, chat to people and make friends, as having people you can talk to in the kink world is a good thing, especially if you don’t have that outlet in your normal vanilla life.

Thank you for your comment. It has been the most helpful and needed at this moment. I'm not sure how it would be received but I'm glad from the feedback some people have appreciated in saying so. You are totally right about being in community. I had not checked the forum out much previously as it seemed a bit overwhelming with the amount of information on there for me but talking to people is so important to feel that connection and feel in a safe space. I'm really open to people who are feeling the same to connect with me like some have. I appreciate you all. Thank you 💚

[GG****]

That wasn’t my intention to be honest I just thought they were regular pictures. You could had just said no. I am not pushy just got curious after we started talking. My intention was to talk about that. But if that’s offended you I don’t know what to say other than I am sorry.

[GG****]

28 minutes ago, switchMoksha said:

Please do not connect just to ask for an invitation to my private gallery.

That wasn’t my intention to be honest I just thought they were regular pictures. You could had just said no. I am not pushy just got curious after we started talking. My intention was to talk about that. But if that’s offended you I don’t know what to say other than I am sorry. I never once thought about masturbation like you said. I thought you were different but I guess was wrong.

[sw****]

2 hours ago, DeviantInside said:

It can be very easy to get very caught up with things when people first get involved on the scene, when everything is shiny, new and exciting. Which can and has lead people into situations they would otherwise avoid, some which have been dangerous or detrimental to the person involved. It’s partly why munches are a good option as a way to get to know people without kink being a factor, both as people and as a support network of different experiences to turn to when unsure. I genuinely believe the more the whole community talks the better as potential pit falls and red flags can be highlighted. Even after I got together with my partner I encouraged her to stay on here, chat to people and make friends, as having people you can talk to in the kink world is a good thing, especially if you don’t have that outlet in your normal vanilla life.

Thank you for your comment. It has been the most helpful and needed at this moment. I'm not sure how it would be received but I'm glad from the feedback some people have appreciated in saying so. You are totally right about being in community. I had not checked the forum out much previously as it seemed a bit overwhelming with the amount of information on there for me but talking to people is so important to feel that connection and feel in a safe space. I'm really open to people who are feeling the same to connect with me like some have. I appreciate you all. Thank you 💚

[sw****]

2 hours ago, TKC-UK said:

I think this will resonate with more people than you realise.

These apps can become overwhelming very quickly. The messages, likes, attention, possibilities and constant checking can take over before you notice it happening. But stepping back doesn’t necessarily mean you have to leave completely. Sometimes it simply means slowing everything down and taking control of how much access the app—and the people on it—have to your time and energy.

Not every message deserves an emotional response. If somebody or something doesn’t resonate with you, let it pass. It isn’t worth burning energy on. When somebody does feel worth your attention, stop and consider what you can realistically invest before giving too much of yourself away.

You always have to remain your own main priority.

Self-care is something we’re rarely taught properly, and what you’ve written feels like more than just an observation. Whether you realised it or not, it sounds a little like you’re asking for support, guidance and perhaps someone steady to lean on while you explore.

That isn’t unusual within this community. Some people have a trusted friend, mentor, protector or experienced kinkster they can speak to when everything becomes too much. Not someone who controls their choices, but someone grounded who helps them slow down, think clearly and stay safe while they find their feet.

The important thing is protecting yourself from overload and burnout. It sounds as though you’ve recognised that before reaching the point of crashing, which is a good thing.

The site has also introduced greeters for newer members for exactly this sort of reason. Not everybody takes up the offer, but they are there to help people navigate the community, answer questions and make the early stages feel less overwhelming.

You don’t have to absorb everything at once. Take what helps, leave what doesn’t, and move at a pace that still allows you to feel like yourself.

Yes I do recognise it for myself but also for others. Past and in the future. Thanks for your response. It's great to hear from you.

[Mo****]

Hi, how are you?

Honestly, your post caught my attention. I think you brought up some really valid points, and I agree that some of the things you mentioned do happen.

I don’t mind sharing my own experience, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask. Just so you know, I was already part of the kink community before joining this app. The main reason I joined was simply to find a compatible partner, nothing more.

[sw****]

Thank you I would like that and thanks for the clarification.

[sw****]

3 minutes ago, switchMoksha said:

Thank you I would like that and thanks for the clarification.

Thank you I would like that and thanks for the clarification.

[sw****]

Sorry for all the double posts! Keep forgetting to use quotes. I hope you all got the right quotes back. I've noticed I sent one to the wrong person! And I can't delete them. Thanks again for your collaborative support and advice 💚