💚Mental Heath Check

[Tr****]

Can I write you?

[si****]

7 hours ago, switchMoksha said:

Thank you for your comment. It has been the most helpful and needed at this moment. I'm not sure how it would be received but I'm glad from the feedback some people have appreciated in saying so. You are totally right about being in community. I had not checked the forum out much previously as it seemed a bit overwhelming with the amount of information on there for me but talking to people is so important to feel that connection and feel in a safe space. I'm really open to people who are feeling the same to connect with me like some have. I appreciate you all. Thank you 💚

I'm happy to offer support, share experiences, & commiserate with you! Please DM me.

[si****]

And, not amp

[In****]

I think it would be helpful if there were more support structures initiated upon entrance to apps like Fet.

Often times you just set up an account just like one would set up a dating app profile, then enter into what seems like a bizzaro world (to the uninitiated) where sex is talked about freely and nude pictures are abound. It sets newcomers up for the potential impression that these apps are little more than hookup apps with a speciality in kink.

The worst think that the devs could do is set this kind of "Welcome support" in a long "terms of service" format. We know no one will read all of that, so bite size, illustrated chunks you have to agree through to familiarize with the app can help with comprehending what one is getting into.

More helpful tools would be a panic/self-timeout function and a way to let another user know what their behaviors or expectations are too far out of line without a harsh punitive action at first... Being able to step back (voluntary pause on account) without severing ties is likely to be helpful for those who need a break without breaking their spirit. On the other hand, being able to hit a button that generically messages another user and let's them know their behavior isn't appreciated could potentially help them understand the way our social interactions are meant to be without making them more frustrated or cutting off their chance to rehabilitate before making an exit from the app.

I know this isn't exactly "mental health" care advice, but I feel it feeds deeply into some of the root causes 💜

[sw****]

8 hours ago, sinfulsub said:

I'm happy to offer support, share experiences, & commiserate with you! Please DM me.

Hi, thanks for your offer. Can you message me as I can't seem to message you? 🙂

[sw****]

8 hours ago, IntrusiveTh0ught said:

I think it would be helpful if there were more support structures initiated upon entrance to apps like Fet.

Often times you just set up an account just like one would set up a dating app profile, then enter into what seems like a bizzaro world (to the uninitiated) where sex is talked about freely and nude pictures are abound. It sets newcomers up for the potential impression that these apps are little more than hookup apps with a speciality in kink.

The worst think that the devs could do is set this kind of "Welcome support" in a long "terms of service" format. We know no one will read all of that, so bite size, illustrated chunks you have to agree through to familiarize with the app can help with comprehending what one is getting into.

More helpful tools would be a panic/self-timeout function and a way to let another user know what their behaviors or expectations are too far out of line without a harsh punitive action at first... Being able to step back (voluntary pause on account) without severing ties is likely to be helpful for those who need a break without breaking their spirit. On the other hand, being able to hit a button that generically messages another user and let's them know their behavior isn't appreciated could potentially help them understand the way our social interactions are meant to be without making them more frustrated or cutting off their chance to rehabilitate before making an exit from the app.

I know this isn't exactly "mental health" care advice, but I feel it feeds deeply into some of the root causes 💜

This is so true and well observed. I wouldn't say it wasn't mental health care advice - sadly I agree it's for the Devs and app to follow up on. Your reply is thought out and considered. Which is what we need. Again thank you so much for reaching out with helpful suggestions and a clear understanding that this is an issue. I think it really helps in bringing it back to the fact we are here to explore in a safe, sane, and consensual way. Structures bring it back to the heart of kink 💜 Much appreciated!

[Rapunzel-1738]

I could do with some support.Im feeling quite used . Just because we've got a kink doesn't mean we should be subjected to ***.A little respect goes a long way.I hope your ok.

[Iw****]

This app has way too many pay walls to get addicted to. I diff ones are better

[sw****]

It appears I have found someone irked by what I have shared on here in my inbox. I wonder what it says about them? To invite themselves in to try to slaughter my beliefs who were too shy to do it in front of everyone else? An entitled power dynamic I did not invite and behaviour to suggest to me I appear to be the bad one spoiling their fun. I guess it was coming. This deflection.

[John54]

switchMoksha - I don't know you personally of course, but I thought your contribution was compassionate and well intended.

[sw****]

1 hour ago, John54 said:

switchMoksha - I don't know you personally of course, but I thought your contribution was compassionate and well intended.

Thank you and so kind in stopping by to say. And out of it people have approached so I know it must be worth something. It's a shame people feel personally attacked when all I'm asking for is like you say a bit of compassion, perhaps connection and some well sought after advice on the issue. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.

[sw****]

Or should I say experience.

[In****]

Yesterday at 11:48 AM, Rapunzel-1738 said:

I could do with some support.Im feeling quite used . Just because we've got a kink doesn't mean we should be subjected to ***.A little respect goes a long way.I hope your ok.

I feel ya. There are way too many people that don't understand the world of kink in a healthy way and allowing them to join apps, websites, and communities without some education and vetting is not the safest or more sane way to accomplish the intended goals 💝

I know when I initially joined FetLife, ages ago, I was also mostly uneducated about what to expect and how to behave, and when I clicked join I was only greeted with a long, boring terms of service that I nearly just clicked through to proceed.

Now I know to look for the conditions that a community expects from its members to coexist peacefully, but that doesn't seem to happen for everyone, so it allows a bunch of bad noodles in that never really get with the program, causing lovely people like you to suffer then nuisance and fuckery 😔

Feel free to reach out to my DMs if you need a ear to vent upon, no expectations other than listening

[sw****]

3 minutes ago, IntrusiveTh0ught said:

I feel ya. There are way too many people that don't understand the world of kink in a healthy way and allowing them to join apps, websites, and communities without some education and vetting is not the safest or more sane way to accomplish the intended goals 💝

I know when I initially joined FetLife, ages ago, I was also mostly uneducated about what to expect and how to behave, and when I clicked join I was only greeted with a long, boring terms of service that I nearly just clicked through to proceed.

Now I know to look for the conditions that a community expects from its members to coexist peacefully, but that doesn't seem to happen for everyone, so it allows a bunch of bad noodles in that never really get with the program, causing lovely people like you to suffer then nuisance and fuckery 😔

Feel free to reach out to my DMs if you need a ear to vent upon, no expectations other than listening

It won't let me so I've notified you

[sw****]

11 minutes ago, IntrusiveTh0ught said:

I feel ya. There are way too many people that don't understand the world of kink in a healthy way and allowing them to join apps, websites, and communities without some education and vetting is not the safest or more sane way to accomplish the intended goals 💝

I know when I initially joined FetLife, ages ago, I was also mostly uneducated about what to expect and how to behave, and when I clicked join I was only greeted with a long, boring terms of service that I nearly just clicked through to proceed.

Now I know to look for the conditions that a community expects from its members to coexist peacefully, but that doesn't seem to happen for everyone, so it allows a bunch of bad noodles in that never really get with the program, causing lovely people like you to suffer then nuisance and fuckery 😔

Feel free to reach out to my DMs if you need a ear to vent upon, no expectations other than listening

Oh apologies it wasn't to me 🙈

[Rapunzel-1738]

Monday at 08:00 PM, IntrusiveTh0ught said:

I feel ya. There are way too many people that don't understand the world of kink in a healthy way and allowing them to join apps, websites, and communities without some education and vetting is not the safest or more sane way to accomplish the intended goals 💝

I know when I initially joined FetLife, ages ago, I was also mostly uneducated about what to expect and how to behave, and when I clicked join I was only greeted with a long, boring terms of service that I nearly just clicked through to proceed.

Now I know to look for the conditions that a community expects from its members to coexist peacefully, but that doesn't seem to happen for everyone, so it allows a bunch of bad noodles in that never really get with the program, causing lovely people like you to suffer then nuisance and fuckery 😔

Feel free to reach out to my DMs if you need a ear to vent upon, no expectations other than listening

Just saw your post.Thank you!

[da****]

July 26, Rapunzel-1738 said:

I could do with some support.Im feeling quite used . Just because we've got a kink doesn't mean we should be subjected to ***.A little respect goes a long way.I hope your ok.

I agree

[talongunship]

oh interesting: my post was deleted! Yes. This is exactly the best thing to do in a channel discussing MENTAL HEALTH! Or I'm just not seeing it lmao. Who knows. This website is filled to the brim with intentionally user-hostile design choices.

[talongunship]

My deleted comment's TLDR was the extreme difficulty I have in finding people. So naturally my comment gets deleted, functionally proving my point.

[ro****]

Man…. Anyone ever dealt with someone who wanted all the control in a relationship when it was supposed to be even kilter the whole time and that’s not what’s even close after you bring a child into the woman with her agreed upon and all knowledge of your past you made known and readily available to her? And she knows you as aperson and knows you’ve changed everything you’ve ever done wrong in life to be a great dad… and still with holds your kid away from you… just to hurt you and help her family obtain sole possession of a blue eyed angel at your expense??? #LordHelpMe #LordHelpLouie

[Sa****]

Nicole if I may! lol why don’t you just worry more so about the people in your life mental health