Not sure if kink or should seek mental help.

[un****]

Hi guys so some context, im 19 new to this whole thing and not sure where to begin. Im very much in control of my everyday life, people much older than myself look up to me for answers from my job to everyday life. I have an iq well above average and just all around people trust me. This may seem arrogant but its just context for the next part. Lately thoughts of wanting to give control of my life completely away to someone else have been invading my mind. This isn't unusual for me but they've been bad lately, to a point of feeling less of a want and more of a need. Like my life is going to crash and fall if I dont. I dont mean simple domination, I mean absolutely no decisions of my own. Down to steps and breath, utter surrender. This can't be normal right?

[Deleted Member]

I don’t think that is normal, maybe try this first and see how you feel

[StrangerG]

Could be a sign that you're taking too much on and need a decent holiday tbh, but you may find a therapist helps also. In the context of this community, I'm sure you could likely exorcise some of those feelings via a kink. If you do, the important thing, as always, is to be safe about it, don't let anybody take advantage of your urge (don't get so desperate that you abandon caution) and go about it with someone you can trust.

[Deleted Member]

Hey, I sympathise with your situation. Try asking yourself the reasons why, look at this desires, what in your past happened? It might be ***ful but you gotta look through ***. Maybe this persona of taking care of others and being in control isn’t really you, it was designed by a sick society and now your subconscious is trying to escape and be free. Or not. But that’s a journey of self enlightenment you gotta go to

[sn****]

The desire itself doesn’t sound particularly unusual. Feeling like you can’t function without it is the part I’d be cautious about.

[Fu****]

Lots of people with high stress public lives are very happy with 0 stress private lives. It's no weirder than people who cant make any decisions or try and control everything and blow up when they cant. Keep it safe

[Co****]

fetish is mostly genetic first of all , secondly you are seeking an FLR "female led relationship" and you want to be "free use" as in comepeltly at the mercy of ur dominant because you're a "service bottom" and ideally for you a perfect opposite match imo would be a "service top" - you sound like you want to be a good boy for someone ! that's great it's possible you have some obsessive maybe distracting thoguhts about this which can become an issue or unhealthy fixation but otherwise it's not a negative thing to want someone to take care of you and in return you can be a loyal good boy / butler / house pet - i think that's wonderful ! good luck ! ❤️

[tr****]

Seek mental help

[Ma****]

It is more normal than you think man. Being in charge like that at a young age is good but it also puts so much pressure on you to be on top of everything. You need to find an older Female Dom that will start taking over slowly so you can learn what it's like to give up control a little at a time man. I wish you luck

[Do****]

Everything starts in childhood, perhaps you were parentified at a young age (eg asked to look after yourself or siblings or even parents) or that you were rewarded if you did well at school etc / achievements
Or just weren’t allowed to be a kid and express yourself or feel things
Therapy is awesome with a good therapist and asks these questions but it is a journey and will take time and deeper therapy such as psycho therapy asks and hopefully answers why you are the way you are.
The job we do is often a reflection of our personality and style so the pattern has repeated itself already.
If you need the kink aspect to get through life then it’s an option of course but it’s more healthy to be in a place where kink adds to to your life rather than controls it
You show a lot of insight for someone so young so I think now would be a good time to explore these questions further and then can decide what serves you best
Also if you hand over to someone else it can be more hurtful if / when it ends
I hope this helps

[Ri****]

Why do you think that would be a better way to live?

[Curiously_Exploring]

It's a common feeling with those who are successful.
One of my friends was telling me about a friend of hers who is a Domme for a millionnaire. The millionaire has a hugely successful life, but he gets so stressed out by having to be in control of his business, he gives control of his *** to his Domme. It's the one thing in life that he can let go of.

[bi****]

It is a quite normal want for a person that are in charge of people during thier working life to be able when out of work enviroment to want to not make descissions about what to do what to wear ect .if you find the right dom or domme then by what you are saying you want to be totally submisive but be sure like me and others a true dom that knows control is not taken it is gifted to the dom by the sub and can be withdrawn anytime

[Curiously_Exploring]

Just now, Curiously_Exploring said:

It's a common feeling with those who are successful.
One of my friends was telling me about a friend of hers who is a Domme for a millionnaire. The millionaire has a hugely successful life, but he gets so stressed out by having to be in control of his business, he gives control of his *** to his Domme. It's the one thing in life that he can let go of.

The stars are covering his m.o.n.e.y.

[Pr****]

I don’t think what you’re expecting is anything to be immediately considered an illness or reason for panic. Submission to a partner who knows what they’re doing is rewarding, and has an incredible effect both physically and psychologically. Oftentimes the partners I dominate are EXTREMELY dominate people in day to day life (CEO, lawyer, ER nurse), very high functioning, very high IQ, type A, ect, and love nothing more than an opportunity to safely turn their brain off. If you’re putting yourself to a high standard throughout your daily life, then maybe you’re craving being rewarded for simple acts that both relieve that hard standard and give you tangible validation from an outside source. While there is a possibility that these thoughts could be rooted in a mental issue (cuz ya know nobody here actually knows you and has 100% context), I’m ngl, from my honest perspective and experience it really just sounds like you should explore submission. Submission is a wonderful space. It may even be the case where “total 24/7 surrender, to the extent of breaths” may be satiated by an ordinary session in sub space, or a stable 24/7 dynamic. I’d say try out submission play, get a bead on what that variable does to your mental state and day-to-day wellbeing, and assess from there. Maybe 2 or 3 to get an averaged reading before you truly consider the possibility that it’s not kink related. Otherwise, your kindof taking shots in the dark of is this “kink or mental illness”. If you find the experience satisfying, I’m sure that’ll be very validating. Best of luck!

[pr****]

a lot of men on this app will want to take advantage of you and say this is normal. while it is in fact common and something i myself am i experiencing right now, it is not something to be overlooked. going down this path could mean subjecting yourself to danger, so seeking help might be a smart decision if you value your safety and want to get your life back on track.

[De****]

Probably more common than most people think.
Don't spend *** on the shrink. There are plenty of people here that will support you along the way.

[ma****]

It wouldn't hurt to speak to a therapist. When in the lifestyle, you need to have a healthy mindset. I have had moments where I put myself in danger while trying to obtain new partners. Taking a step out and speaking to someone about what my activities helped keep my mind clear about why I was seeking partners. I have to make sure that I have a healthy self image. Am I seeking a new partner for pleasure or validation? Is my self image healthy on my own? It doesn't hurt to speak to another person to make sure that you make healthy decisions. I also have a friend in the lifestyle that I run bigger decisions through and he let's me know how things sound. There was a recent situation where it sounded a little off in my head, but when he read it, he saw more red flags then I first thought were there. Reading it typed out made it easier to notice. Just be careful please.

[Deleted Member]

live and let live bro, one day at a time

[au****]

I’m very new at this and I can appreciate your advice

[Du****]

No go talk to Sigmund Frued... haha wait that Stuet Giw is Deex3xAaD... hes the one that helps people like u that dont know how to live life... cuz he doesnt eitha, kinda like a cult it rins in zee Bli00iD of evef GiW .. lmao hahhaha

[an****]

Sounds like the dark side of high intelligence. Being intelligent enough to to find yourself excluded (by rarity), also means you have the ability to out think this reality. Things you can do today to remove decision fatigue, park in the same exact spot/area in the back of the lot, never remember where you park, take a picture of things that you need to remember that are trivial. Buy the same things, toothpaste, food, socks, only research change outside the meaningless decisions. Preemptively choose decisions you will let others make (without evaluation) just allow the decision to be less than perfection. Seek out situations where you are dumber than the situation. Humble yourself with hard tasks. But pick things you can suck at, intentionally do not perfect the skill, this is important. You are not going to respect a mentor/controller unless they function on your structure so you are looking for a very specific person (switch if you need them to 'switch' to actual control vs sub encouragement). They will accept your lead in a sub role to receive your established structure then encourage/demand you to hold to this (think extreme personal assistant kink). This is an interesting and very understandable want.

[fe****]

IQ the ability to learn and being 19 and one to be dominated is entirely something else. Get yourself a daddy dom and then have a good time with him every day

[fr****]

Hey sweetie,im not no professional but im pretty smart myself and maybe you just see the world and people for exactly what they are and are not sure how to act because it can be stressful when ur the goto for everything especially when if you say the truth some cant even comprehend so many people cannot think past go and i know stupidity really aggravates me especially since most people dont even have common sense these days.💯and im not sure how tou were raised and what expectations gou were held to but it might just be a thing like you are mentally tired and just feel like you need a break and wish you vould just not have any responsibilities to deal with and just could go thru life like alot of others that just wanderer thru life without a thought or concern in the world. But i would definitely like to talk or text to you some more because i would like to try and figure it out i
always enjoyed trying to get to the bottom of uncommon things because they are interesting to me !besides i read your profile and seen ur pics ur def bery sexy and wouldnt mind getting to know you on a deeper level and maybe i could then find out just how deep u really are as well😉💯

[Mr****]

There are many people who have such a high level of control and decision making responsibility in their work and personal life that they look for relationships where they can safely surrender that control. What I would look at is are you looking to continue your life and find a place where you can surrender control or are you wanting it to be a 24/7 thing where you don't work or have any responsibility. There is no problem with either but it may be helpful to talk to a professional before making life changing decisions. But from your description of wanting to make absolutely no decisions on your own down to steps and breath it sounds like you are in a state of burnout.