Not sure if kink or should seek mental help.

[Kl****]

Let's explore together

[Di****]

Sounds like where I been, prison. That would be similar. Duck that, I want the opposite. freedom. I wish you love on a dangerous quest. I'm into scandalous, dangerous women.

[je****]

I completely understand. I’ve messaged you.

[si****]

Sounds like it might be that you’re burnt out.

I know there are people who in their day to day life make loads of decisions, so in private want to give that up to someone they trust. That is totally normal.

However, if it feels like it is more than that, going to speak with a therapist is never a wrong decision. Therapists have helped me during some very difficult times

[Ch****]

Agreed

[tu****]

Sounds like you want a TPE - Total Power Exchange. There's nothing wrong with thst & falls under a kink, yes.

Just be sure that as you explore that dynamic, you remember to set healthy boundaries.

[Ba****]

It is definitely mental health. Not a kink. I agree with what people are saying about being burnt out... the truth is, life can be extremely overwhelming as a result of the pressure that we oftentimes, unknowingly, put on ourselves. It comes from an innocent desire to want "success" for ourselves. This is OK, normal, and healthy... but the pressure needs to be acknowledged and managed. I think that you are in a mode of surrender and it is extremely healthy for you to be seeking some degree of help. I don't feel a full surrender is necessary and I just want to take a moment to give you some credit for all that I assume you have been subjecting yourself to and achieving in life. We can't do it all alone and letting someone in to help can be uncomfortable and overwhelming at first, so a full surrender would be tempting, because it essentially waives all liability/fault. Accountability will exist with a partial "surrender" and will likely be uncomfortable. I would encourage pursuit of some sort of fellowship or mentor. I took on a mentor about 8 years ago and it was extremely beneficial for me, but we will have different things going on. I encourage you to explore these options. Honestly, you sound *** and I believe this platform might allow for someone to take advantage of you... and maybe deep inside that is some sort of "kink"...? Just be careful with what you subject yourself to over the next year of your life until you get to a point where you are not guessing if something is a kink. Being curious is one thing... but you don't sound curious you sound deeply distressed.

[mo****]

It is a normal thing for people like us

[da****]

So I get what you are seeking but it’s ultimately unrealistic as you can not control things like steps or breathing 😮‍💨 because you can’t do one without the other eventually occurring I think you should look at more reasonable alternatives to those two items but I get and while yes it could be a mental health issue it could also just be a kink but I’d recommend never giving that power to someone immediately or over the phone or internet wait vet them do a few vanilla dates big things before you start a dynamic with someone

[Sy****]

First of all, thanks for sharing such a topic that I just spoke to a woman about it yesterday.
Hope you find inner peace as soon as possible because, i FEEL you!

I’ve been Dom all my life even when i don’t want to lead.
Not just in the bedroom, but everywhere…
Since i was 10 i have responsibilities on my shoulders, i’ve been dealing with people older than me, help them out and sort out their problems.
I have an IQ above average too which is approved by 2 psychiatrists and a psychologist.
And since 2 months, i’m feeling the same.
i’m going to talk about this.
Because i am craving to drop all the control in my life and get dominated.
Of course there are some other stuff going on in my life but this thought is driving me nuts and i am about to tap out..
I am a couple and sex health counsellor who is trying help and encourage others like a torch that enlightens the path in front of them.
Yet, here i am.

I have my psychologist appointment in a week,
Let’s see what the outcome will be.

You are not alone, if you want to vent out i’m happy to listen.
Take care of yourself please.
Bear

[davison40148]

What is the definition of normal 🤷‍♂️

[Sy****]

22 minutes ago, davison40148 said:

What is the definition of normal 🤷‍♂️

There are standards in mental health which defines you healthy in the society which is normal.
Normal mental health is the definition of normal.
As an example: if a person acts different their usual behaviours after a Physical or psychical trauma, or trying to harm themselves and others in physical or psychical way is defined as not normal.
Plus, AI could’ve answered better to your questions than me.
Peace

[mo****]

39 minutes ago, SykerSly said:

There are standards in mental health which defines you healthy in the society which is normal.
Normal mental health is the definition of normal.
As an example: if a person acts different their usual behaviours after a Physical or psychical trauma, or trying to harm themselves and others in physical or psychical way is defined as not normal.
Plus, AI could’ve answered better to your questions than me.
Peace

The social standard of "normal" is a joke. I say this from a psychosocial aspect being that I am in that field. The question what is normal is perfect. Normal is totally circumstantial and relative to the individual. This post that this individual posting very much fits in this lifestyle. What others outside his lifestyle would consider abnormal, is in fact to us normal. It happens that a lot of people that have extreme amounts of control over others and they're always leaned on for answers in solutions want to be on the submissive side. The other side effect would be the same way, a lot of people that are doms come from lives that are very lack of a better word boring.

[Ju****]

I don't think it's a type of "messed up disorder" It's simply a mental and emotional need of dynamical switching

[Bartmi1017]

Sounds like you need a major break from your day to day life when you get home
Do somthing where your no longer in control of everything and have someone else make all the decision for you

Let’s chat

[Laycette]

Yep many of us go through this. It is your kink awakening and you know how strong a drive it is.
Find your tribe. Go to munches. Get involved with community. You will find someone. But in the meantime get out there, do workshops, read books, skill up and learn safety and meet your ***rs. There are plenty of things on and others around you!

[sh****]

Mental health support is helpful regardless of my opinion of the details, if you feel uncomfortable with whats going on in your mind regardless of the details the right counselor can help you organize your thoughts, break limiting loops, and feel peaceful and confident with however you do feel about things in your life. But also, sounds like youre overwhelmed and seeking relief from the crushing burden that life often is. My personal perspective is that giving yourself over to someone or wanting to to that extent isnt the route I would pursue but different strokes and folks within some amount of reason. Something that has helped me when Im not doing well is I visualize my future husband who I plan to be submissive towards intimately but also realistically a real partner in the shared battle that is life with equal responsibilities to support my spouse and bring my perspectives and wisdoms and convictions because hes not my parents or made of steel and I want someone that wants to be a team. But anyway I think of him talking to me and it helps a lot. For whatever reason I can imagine his perspective differently than my own even though it comes from me. Idk sorry just thought Id respond because younger me wanted things differently and it came largely from not a place of prosperity and health. Now I still have that genre of kink but its very different and not to offend anyone that has a different experience or perspective, but I think its a safer healthier place now and hopefully even better over time but youve got to think every part of your life is connected so its not like the struggle is causing the desire necessarily but it does flavor it and give it context that changes it a lot.

[Kl****]

Message me honey

[mo****]

There is absolutely nothing wrong, abnormal, or negative in that mindset. If it makes you happy and content then go with it. Embrace it and be it.

[Sy****]

2 hours ago, morbidinside661 said:

The social standard of "normal" is a joke. I say this from a psychosocial aspect being that I am in that field. The question what is normal is perfect. Normal is totally circumstantial and relative to the individual. This post that this individual posting very much fits in this lifestyle. What others outside his lifestyle would consider abnormal, is in fact to us normal. It happens that a lot of people that have extreme amounts of control over others and they're always leaned on for answers in solutions want to be on the submissive side. The other side effect would be the same way, a lot of people that are doms come from lives that are very lack of a better word boring.

My example explains it all.
Have a great day.

[Se****]

You are at a point some of us have already come to terms with. Example- l was always dominant in my marriage. My ex-wife was the perfect Sub! And I controlled everything behind closed doors. Outside them we were absolutely unrecognizable as Dom/sub. So Sweetie there is nothing wrong here. The solution is a simple decision! Consider putting in a profile here on FET. Explain your situation. Ask for a Dom that will have just as much control as you are willing to give. Or-always wonder what might have been! Respectfully the choice is yours. Good luck. Hope this might be of some use!