Ending a Relationship: Follow up question?

[PL****]

So some of you have seen my post from yesterday. Based on this I have a follow up question?
How do you provide self-care when feeling rejected and hurt when the end of a partnership occurs?
I'm naming 5 would love a list of 5 from anyone who replies....maybe we can find ways to help others who struggle!
Me:
1. Talking to my support people (besties)
2. I love chatting with strangers: sometimes just to help me cope or to relieve those sad feelings because meeting someone new provides a hit of dopamine.or other feel good brain chemicals.
3. Baths
4. Scrolling through my FB feeds to find the ones that make me feel better.
5. Adult coloring books

[Ch****]

°Drink my favourite teas.

°Apply lotion or oil to my skin after the bath.

°Self care in the bath like filing my feet. Revealing new skin to welcome a new life!

°Listen to my favourite music.

°Exercise! Endorphins and pride in myself ensues.

[ku****]

My opinion would be look at the great memories the boosting of life more importantly how far you’ve come of a person and going through life experiences comes with downfalls and upbringing and doing what makes you happy should be at the top not dwell at what ended but what’s coming up most of us humans loose sight of what’s next because what was is all we seen breathed and got excitement from we don’t look at what’s next or how we can take what we learned and apply it to daily life it’s easy to get sucked into the darkness but hard to see and understand what’s in the light and honestly finding something to pass the time that you love is most important at this time

[Ro****]

- spend time with my pets
-find an unfinished project and focus on it
-Journaling ( if that turns negative I burn it to release it) or creative writing for FL page
-figure out a new way to braid my hair
-coloring

[KD****]

I want to say the vanilla things; focus on doing the things I enjoy; learn new things with the extra time and ***… realistically though, nothing is better than making a woman cum waterfalls over and over to bring back my confidence

[Deleted Member]

Learn something new. I discovered photography after my wife of 24 years left. Turns out I’m pretty good. Learning and creating are great outlets. You discover YOU in the process

[Pr****]

I love to read or listen to books, talking to friends, listening to music while working on projects (I do cross stitch and sew quilts), meeting new people either in person or virtually and eating junk food

[fe****]

1. Long baths, with bath bombs, epsom salt, or bath oils.
2. Tarot readings for myself.
3. Nail appointment, a new color for my nails and a foot massage.
4. Journaling, write out all feelings and thoughts to release them.
5. Long car rides with loud music.

[Un****]

1.Exercise.
2.learning a new skill.
3.Having solo Dates.
4.Talking to someone you trust.
5.Taking long walks

[Deleted Member]

1. Starting a new project
2. Talking to my besties
3. Dyeing my hair
4. Comfort movies
5. Comfort food

[Gw****]

1. Getting lost in a game
2. Getting lost in nature
3. Getting lost in a romantic novel or smut... mostly smut lol
4. Getting lost at the gym
5. All of what feral_pet said lol

[fr****]

support from loved ones, communication with strangers, baths, social media, coloring books) also has a right to exist: it relies on natural mechanisms of emotion regulation - social support, the release of dopamine

[Mi****]

1) Music,
2) Baths
3) Food
4) Masturbation/affirmations

[laura90]

Making ***, going on vacation, having new partners, BDSM, success in life & level up 😉

But overall: Sleep, sleep, sleep.

While sleeping your brain can digest and organize memories and emotions, as well as forget some things that happened, not fully forget of course, but a little. 😉

Sleep overall managed to make emotional *** for me more bearable, less unbearable.

All the best. ❤️

[se****]

Can't say from a BDSM perspective but after seperating from an 18 year relationship, find the things that make you happy or forget about the world for a while. Conversations are good, your true friends won't judge you but help you through it. Sleep! Sometimes you won't be able to, sometimes you won't feel like doing anything, as stated this gives your brain time to process things - and if you have a rough night at least you started early. My other big one has been work and volunteer distractions, but I have to be careful they don't take over all my spare time.

[TimberTara]

The only way to heal is to let time pass and the fever diminish. I was in love with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with for three years. I took her to Machu Picchu when we got back she dumped me for the next year I couldn’t date I thought all women were evil but eventually time passed and now I’m just frustrated.

[li****]

1. Baths (Epsom salt and lovely smelling oils)
2. Changing my hair/ getting my nails done 💅
3. Journaling/ drawing
4. Going out with friends/ dancing
5. Spiritual Rituals for self love and the return of my energy

[be****]

Not sure if this applies to everyone but
For me, I think we try to find the things we lost before in the present and future, maybe it brings a form a calmness because it is similar. While there is nothing wrong in that, it's human tendency to find comfort in what is similar. It is important to be aware that we do that, through which we can remember to do things that we would have said no to in the past. More like pushing yourself to do unfamiliar things no matter how small they're so that you eventually move away from the past. Similar to what @linds777 says. It's remember that everything new you do from now is a step away from the past. Just start changing tiny bits.

Start treating your past self is dead and you have a New chance to be reborn and moving every small step helps cause it makes your brain get familiar to change. Don't with you'll be alright just remember why you're doing it.

[laura90]

3 hours ago, berlin86852 said:

Not sure if this applies to everyone but
For me, I think we try to find the things we lost before in the present and future, maybe it brings a form a calmness because it is similar. While there is nothing wrong in that, it's human tendency to find comfort in what is similar. It is important to be aware that we do that, through which we can remember to do things that we would have said no to in the past. More like pushing yourself to do unfamiliar things no matter how small they're so that you eventually move away from the past. Similar to what @linds777 says. It's remember that everything new you do from now is a step away from the past. Just start changing tiny bits.

Start treating your past self is dead and you have a New chance to be reborn and moving every small step helps cause it makes your brain get familiar to change. Don't with you'll be alright just remember why you're doing it.

Can you elaborate on that further? I never understand this. What does it change if I wake up at a different time or go to a Park I have never been to? Aren't we (unfortunately) always the same person even if such outside things change? Because I would love to change my life completely but it just never works for me. I end up in the exact same situations and feelings as always, no matter who I meet or where I move. It is basically that I am physically completely drained, end up in bad working situations, lack *** and have horrible break ups. Always. Again and again. I even switched countries. My weight changed, my apartements, my daily routines. But nothing has ever really changed. I see so often that people say: Change small things - but what does that mean and how can it help?

[De****]

1. Excercise and sunshine (with sunscreen of course)
2. Wholesome filling founds, keeps your body happy and strong
3. My favorite music, especially stuff I can emotionally connect to
4. New hair or new nails always boosts the confidence
5. Support system (family, friends, loved ones)

[jinxed]

1. Yoga
2. Caressing yourself (or even tying yourself) 
3. Food for the gut (kimchi, olives, yoghurt..)
4. Gardening
5. Meaningful relationships

[PL****]

9 hours ago, laura90 said:

Can you elaborate on that further? I never understand this. What does it change if I wake up at a different time or go to a Park I have never been to? Aren't we (unfortunately) always the same person even if such outside things change? Because I would love to change my life completely but it just never works for me. I end up in the exact same situations and feelings as always, no matter who I meet or where I move. It is basically that I am physically completely drained, end up in bad working situations, lack *** and have horrible break ups. Always. Again and again. I even switched countries. My weight changed, my apartements, my daily routines. But nothing has ever really changed. I see so often that people say: Change small things - but what does that mean and how can it help?

I cannot speak for berlin86852, however, in reading what you both wrote. I would say the small changes are changes we make within as we change in our environments. For example, you said you even changed countries. Did you try to find new appreciation in your surroundings? Did you look to discover something that you learned from past mistakes and try to change it (to include your perspective)? I think when we make those small changes we are supposed to look introspectivly at the same time because small changes in our environment change how we see ourselves too.