Discussing cuckolding for the first time

[ja****]

How did you bring it up to your partner or how did your partner ask you about cuckolding for the first time? Love to know to help me discuss with my partner !

[Ba****]

Maybe don’t come out with it as „the plan“ but start introducing the idea as „a fantasy“
Something you would like to try is usually less pressure for your partner than something you need/have to do

This side is not really one i have experience with, closest thing was sharing a partner with a lesbian, but i do have some experience as the bull and on that note i just wanted to have said:“the boundaries of everybody involved are equally relevant“ so while is a bit early for this bit of advice if your discussion has positive results not only do you need to find someone you are both comfortable with you also need to be aware and respectful of their boundaries
Seriously, naked me had to bare knuckle fight a half-dressed man over the tied up body of a screaming woman because of this, nobody won, everybody lost, it wasn’t a fun evening for any of us

[Y7****]

My hubby just blurted it out one day when we were intimate. I looked at him like i had seen a ghost. Lol

[li****]

My ex said I was “too small and she needed a much bigger man “ so I begged to watch and she laughed and said yes

[laura90]

Ask questions rather making statements.

[laura90]

26 minutes ago, Y7850 said:

My hubby just blurted it out one day when we were intimate. I looked at him like i had seen a ghost. Lol

Hehe something similar happened in my life. I said to my Sub that when I meet another man he can bring me and the other man food to the door. But okay, in a comitted relationship I probably wouldn't introduce the whole situation like that. 😄

[Ha****]

Now are we talking no involvement or a group project? I personally go for group projects and I have yet to meet a woman that took much convincing to take on more than one at a time

[wa****]

Never done it honestly

[Y7****]

1 hour ago, laura90 said:

Hehe something similar happened in my life. I said to my Sub that when I meet another man he can bring me and the other man food to the door. But okay, in a comitted relationship I probably wouldn't introduce the whole situation like that. 😄

Omg 😆😆😆😆
I mean that's cute though.
I did take hubby on his word later lol

[DarkArts1066]

I think the first place to start is to decide what your understanding of cuckolding actually is, and to fully understand what YOU want from this experience, before you can speak with your partner about it.

I’ve known people who have literally said “let’s try cuckolding” to a partner (M and F friends..) with, say a desire to just watch - or not even be present, and then the partner says “great” I’d love you to watch me getting fucked hard by two well endowed men, in all my holes, while they tell you how rubbish you are in bed…”

Cue shock, horror, - and very difficult conversations.

Do you watch porn together ?
Could you watch cuckold porn, and discuss what you see ?

Ask questions…
“Do you like what they are doing to her ?”
“What do you think about the guy wanking and watching? -would you like that ?”

Simple examples. There are many more (probably better) ones, but those just came to mind.

An anecdote.
Many many years ago in my twenties, I tried to start a conversation with my first wife about my voyeuristic tendencies.

We really hadn’t explored sexually as much as I would have liked. To be honest, she was a little prudish, but I loved her.

Her comment (and I can still remember her words almost 40 years later,) of
“Eeew ! … you’re not one of those swinger perverts, are you ?” Still makes my *** run cold!

Be clear about your own understanding, - sound out your partner gently. There is no turning back once you’ve put your foot in it…. so choose your words, -and your timing carefully.

[Ca****]

The first relationship cuckold started by accident, a few meets into swinging ( MMF ) we met a more Dom gentleman and I was in such awe I didn't join in and just watched. He introduced us to the term. Second cuckold relationship we met on a online dating app ( normal one not a kinky one) and it was discussed before we even met in person , mainly because I was also still in chastity

[do****]

1 hour ago, DarkArts1066 said:

I think the first place to start is to decide what your understanding of cuckolding actually is, and to fully understand what YOU want from this experience, before you can speak with your partner about it.

I’ve known people who have literally said “let’s try cuckolding” to a partner (M and F friends..) with, say a desire to just watch - or not even be present, and then the partner says “great” I’d love you to watch me getting fucked hard by two well endowed men, in all my holes, while they tell you how rubbish you are in bed…”

Cue shock, horror, - and very difficult conversations.

Do you watch porn together ?
Could you watch cuckold porn, and discuss what you see ?

Ask questions…
“Do you like what they are doing to her ?”
“What do you think about the guy wanking and watching? -would you like that ?”

Simple examples. There are many more (probably better) ones, but those just came to mind.

An anecdote.
Many many years ago in my twenties, I tried to start a conversation with my first wife about my voyeuristic tendencies.

We really hadn’t explored sexually as much as I would have liked. To be honest, she was a little prudish, but I loved her.

Her comment (and I can still remember her words almost 40 years later,) of
“Eeew ! … you’re not one of those swinger perverts, are you ?” Still makes my *** run cold!

Be clear about your own understanding, - sound out your partner gently. There is no turning back once you’ve put your foot in it…. so choose your words, -and your timing carefully.

This really. You have to decide your definitions for yourself first. Are you actually wanting to be cucked? Or just to watch? There is a very big difference to me.

Mine knows Ill allow no disrespect towards me, so no degrading in any way. I want to watch, I want to see her be used in ways I tell her to be used because I said so. Some people want to be talked down to during, which is an actual cuck experience in my opinion.

No disrespect to those that enjoy the degredation, its just not me and I absolutely would not have enjoyed our experiences without that information being communicated first.

So figure out what YOU actually want before even thinking about bringing it up. Good luck to you!

[Kn****]

There are some very good points that have been brought up.
Once you have thought deeply about what you're looking for from the experience you'll be able to approach it just like any other kink discussion.
Are you looking for a soft cuckold experience where you just watch your partner be pleasured?
Do you want the "cheater thrill" where you "catch" them in the act?
Maybe you want the *** of being told you aren't enough....
Or is it more primal and you're looking for the "I can do better than that" or the "reclaiming" of your partner.
Once you know what it is then you will know how to approach.

[ja****]

Damn this insight helps me understand a lot real puts the shoe on the other foot but me personally I can’t so what was the deciding factor you wanted to share your partner is my question.

[ja****]

For the females I been thinking maybe you need a bbc or bwc because the size not there or it just don’t get up but you love them or see more security in just playing the long game

[su****]

9 minutes ago, jaywitda8 said:

For the females I been thinking maybe you need a bbc or bwc because the size not there or it just don’t get up but you love them or see more security in just playing the long game

It might be that way for some. For me, size doesn't matter, it's about really enjoying my sexuality and it being enjoyed by others. My man loves seeing me in this state - boldly embracing and using my sexual nature.

This is how he brought it up. Telling me he'd really enjoy seeing me sex another man and getting fucked by him and then enjoying my body after. Maybe that isn't cuckolding? Maybe it is. This is why defining your terms with everyone involved matters

[Ca****]

I have to ask please I mean no disrespect
As a man HOW is that enjoyable for you? To share your woman with someone? I am not made that way to me it’s the one thing on the planet I could not, would not, share my woman with anyone in this universe! Call me old fashioned but you would have a better chance of FaceTiming God.

[Aj****]

2 hours ago, Castle180 said:

I have to ask please I mean no disrespect
As a man HOW is that enjoyable for you? To share your woman with someone? I am not made that way to me it’s the one thing on the planet I could not, would not, share my woman with anyone in this universe! Call me old fashioned but you would have a better chance of FaceTiming God.

And I'm sure you have kinks that others would never dream of or could even consider exploring. The world of kink is about expression of one's own sexual curiosity. That is after all why all of us began exploring. The community generally uplifts people to explore in a non-judgmental environment. There are many many MANY cuck couples out there so it's obviously a common desire and not niche or fringe. It's extremely common. He did not post this thread to receive criticism and shaming, but is seeking advice on communicating this with his partner in a positive way that expands their relationship. I would refrain from joining topics you don't understand if all you plan on is shaming. That's generally frowned upon in the kink community.

[Kn****]

It's again important to note that not all cucking involves being in the same room. Sometimes it's also being told about it afterwards...
Honestly though, the question is now begged... So you have a problem sleeping with another man's partner?
This isn't a gotcha question either.
Is it the idea of watching another man with your partner, simply knowing she's with someone else, or is it the idea that a woman should only be with one man?

[ey****]

I guess first off, and this may seem pedantic, ask yourself if it is cuckolding you wish to explore (which is centred around your partners wants/decisions and removes you from the equation) or, as many guys actually want - hotwifing (your partner is having sex/dates/etc with other men but it's centred around your own fantasy)

From there.  The first thing you have to do before you have the conversation is accept the answer might be no.  If it is a no, it is a no.  End of discussion.

After that... like, if it's your partner, someone you're intimate with - then it's not that hard to set some time to try to discuss fantasies.... especially if you're already braced to accept the no. 

[mt****]

It started with dirty talk and evolved into denying me anything but handjobs...during one horny session I blurted out that I wanted her to suck other guys.

[mt****]

When it actually was about to happen, I've never been more anxious or jealous in my life. It was a massive adrenaline spike.

[Ba****]

3 hours ago, Castle180 said:

I have to ask please I mean no disrespect
As a man HOW is that enjoyable for you? To share your woman with someone? I am not made that way to me it’s the one thing on the planet I could not, would not, share my woman with anyone in this universe! Call me old fashioned but you would have a better chance of FaceTiming God.

Well to answer this a little to unspecific question with a few overly broad categories

1) the stereotypical submissive „cuck“, the ones who may enjoy the *** of being perceived as inadequate in the face of a bigger/better/more dominant man

2) the usually dominant or occasionally vanilla adjacent „pimp“-roleplayer, basically a form of the ownership aspect of power exchange, an under-category of which is surprisingly popular among bikers and similarly aggressively masculine subcultures

3) the ones most relevant to how you worded your questions, the ones more secure in their relationship and less self-oriented in their motivations including examples like the vanilla people being in vanilla relationships with kinky people who want their partner to get the fulfillment they themselves can’t give them somewhere else and the older married couple who isn’t gonna throw their decade old relationship away just because they grew apart in terms of sex drive

All of which may have an element of voyeurism to them but even if present it’s least likely to be a primary motivation for category 3), and while this framed from a man’s perspective most of them can be gender swapped in terms of motivation and/or position wich isn’t uncommon enough to be unusual

Personally i have most of my experience with categories 2) and 3) and there is some great mentorship potential to be found among them i learned quite a lot from which is why i never really understood why people with no interest or relation to this type of relationship have such active problems with it

[Di****]

My guess… you guys are currently vanilla. You want to add a +1, either to experience or long term. This might help…

You have a fantasy. Let’s go with saying you’re totally vanilla and want to test the waters. The first thing you need? A rock solid relationship… or this will just go to shit…

Women live fantasy. Kinda shocked the first time I listened to / read what they read… way better than the porn industry for men 😂

In the middle of good, hot, steamy sex… when she’s like rocking it… be dirty. Tell her she likes cock. See how she responds. Tell her she likes all her holes filled… start by bringing the fantasy partly alive. Great, then introduce that you find it hot that she’s doing another dick… start to let her imagination run wild. If she responds good… tell her that fantasy/imagination turns you on. That’s your opening door.

Then you can go down the route of, “I want to watch…”, “I want to… whatever type of fantasy you want to fulfil”…

It’s all about how you open that communication door to a topic that’s otherwise been off the table. Right moment, right timing, right questions/comments…

Good luck…

[Su****]

Learning the lifestyle a bit More and currently have a woman partner who enjoys chastity.

It came up in conversation that I am not super dominant in my prior sexual history and I have a preference for the focus to be on my partner. I have already been interested in chastity myself but spoke about it randomly and she was intrigued, so I invited her over no pressure to just look at it, be curious and ask questions as she desires. I feel this whole kink of chastity and cuckolding is a learning curve for everyone involved.

We have progressed from there were she has caged me while we hangout or I am more there to please her for her satisfaction. Which definitely gets me going mentally and I love it.

Open to chat more about it, if you have any follow up questions as I am not sure I fully answered you 😊