No**** Posted August 12 So… I think being a D is wonderful, but sometimes, it’s hard to come up with new and different ideas, and ways to keep your S occupied and excited. What will follow are a list of ideas that mostly can be executed remotely, and hopefully give doms some inspiration. This also could give subs some things to consider as being possible, or want to try. Feel free to take any of this, or comment on something you’d like to add. This list is based on a variety of topics and ideas, generally focused on psychological control, but obviously, be mindful of your partner, and adapt to both of your preferences, situation and needs. As always, practice things in a healthy way, and communicate with your partner. List of random ideas for inspiration * Change up or require a mantra- whether hourly or weekly or upon regular cadence (like every time S drinks water they have to recite a mantra). While it can be tricky, I’ve always liked requiring S to confirm when mantra is stated, ideally, verbally through a voice note or similar, and including a timestamp. * Create rules regarding communication - I.e S is not permitted to use the letter E. Keep track for an hour, and each results in a spanking or similar punishment. * Temperature play - in addition to the traditional wax, through in an icicle or two on a sensitive area, or restrict or deny heated showers/baths. Manage the AC/thermostat of S. Blankets can also be given and taken away. * Gatekeep amenities behind rewards - restrict microwave, shower time, or other appliance access. * Require consuming specific content. I’ve always loved giving homework, of videos to watch or audio to listen to. Strongly recommend S is required to give feedback/notes/write a super brief homework assignment, after all, how else will we know they did the work? * Wager or set stakes to games. I think wordle, chess, geoguesser are all examples of fairly easy things to play remotely, can be played by most, and all lend themselves to easy punishments or rewards. Especially point based systems. This way, there’s an outcome to follow through regardless of exactly how the game goes. * Use time as a punishment. I love 1:1 symbolism. If S is 2:13 seconds to complete a task or follow a rule, you can bet I’ll pull out the old stopwatch, and bring that back later, whether denying attention, satisfaction, or just somehow making S wait, specifically for the error. * Limit media access. This one can be tricky, but there are apps that allow you to block or limit social media time, for example. I’ve found this as helpful during work hours, but can be extended as well, or leveraged as a reward. * Post content, consensually and censored to S’s comfort level, but lots of us enjoy the positive feedback. Also a great thing to combine with point systems. This can encourage additional content, or be based on digital response, how long it’s up, how many places it is posted, etc. * Make checklists of things to complete, whether practical or kinky tasks. Ensure clear expectations, and rewards and punishments for failing to complete the entire list. Another opportunity for a point system. * Change locations. This does not mean break any laws… but a hotel or motel or any change in established pattern will feel different. Even if you are remote, experimenting at different times of day alone can make things feel spontaneous. * Write an erotic scene together. It can be something that inspires your next meeting, or just the playing out of a fantasy. If you really enjoy this one, why not write a more extensive story, and have S play some of the various characters. You can still be dungeon master, but a quick little sexy DnD style story is fun. * Program automated messages to be sent ahead of time with tasks or mantras or messages. You can plan days in advance, and this can be really helpful when you know you will be away or unavailable. But it can give S the feeling of your presence, even if you can’t be available or there. Hope that one or more of these help you and your partner, and get the creative juices flowing, and as always, I hope you find what you’re looking for.
jo**** Posted August 12 I use the Obedience App on my iPhone. My sub has an android and she is given daily/weekly tasks to maintain. She gets points and can trade them in for a lunch date or a massage (or a get out of jail free card to escape a punishment)
To**** Posted August 12 Some good ideas here, but I think there's a trap in trying to keep a sub constantly occupied. For me, D/s isn't about having a never ending list of tasks, rules and punishments. If the dynamic is good, even something very simple can carry a lot of weight. I'd rather have a few things that actually mean something to her than twenty random tasks just to keep her busy. And I've found that the best remote dynamics aren't the ones where the Dom is constantly present They were the ones where a simple message from me could change her headspace, even when I wasn’t there…, That’s when you know the dynamic has become something more than instructions…
jo**** Posted August 12 28 minutes ago, TomWhttt said: Some good ideas here, but I think there's a trap in trying to keep a sub constantly occupied. For me, D/s isn't about having a never ending list of tasks, rules and punishments. If the dynamic is good, even something very simple can carry a lot of weight. I'd rather have a few things that actually mean something to her than twenty random tasks just to keep her busy. And I've found that the best remote dynamics aren't the ones where the Dom is constantly present They were the ones where a simple message from me could change her headspace, even when I wasn’t there…, That’s when you know the dynamic has become something more than instructions… The tasks I require are more disciplines that work. A daily message. A picture of something that they think is interesting. A report that they ate, showered, worked-out, went to work, kissed someone, fed the cat; things like that
To**** Posted August 12 25 minutes ago, joesarciii said: The tasks I require are more disciplines that work. A daily message. A picture of something that they think is interesting. A report that they ate, showered, worked-out, went to work, kissed someone, fed the cat; things like that Yeah, that’s a bit different from what I meant. Those aren’t really random tasks, they’re little anchors in the dynamic. I actually like that approach. When there’s a reason behind the task, it becomes part of the relationship rather than just another thing on a checklist. I think the key for me is knowing when enough is enough though. A few meaningful anchors can strengthen a dynamic, but if every part of her day needs to be reported, it can start feeling more like administration than D/s. The task itself isn’t that important. It’s what it means between the two people.
jo**** Posted August 12 16 minutes ago, TomWhttt said: Yeah, that’s a bit different from what I meant. Those aren’t really random tasks, they’re little anchors in the dynamic. I actually like that approach. When there’s a reason behind the task, it becomes part of the relationship rather than just another thing on a checklist. I think the key for me is knowing when enough is enough though. A few meaningful anchors can strengthen a dynamic, but if every part of her day needs to be reported, it can start feeling more like administration than D/s. The task itself isn’t that important. It’s what it means between the two people. Agreed. I like touch points to have a value on both sides
ey**** Posted August 12 4 hours ago, TomWhttt said: Some good ideas here, but I think there's a trap in trying to keep a sub constantly occupied. For me, D/s isn't about having a never ending list of tasks, rules and punishments. If the dynamic is good, even something very simple can carry a lot of weight. yep, I agree. I think in general if you are constantly coming up with stuff for your sub to do - on one hand it's a lot of emotional labour, and also micromanaging at times - on another it puts the mode of performance onto the Dominant you can have repetitive daily tasks - show me you ate today, give me a good night/morning, tell me something interesting that happened today - especially if it is a distance thing - but otherwise it risks leading to burnout Over time it might be new tasks/rewards/punishments become applicable based on your dynamic - but ultimately having a sub is to make your life easier, not harder. Even if there is work to being a Dominant. If you are having to constantly think of new ways to keep them interested, who is serving who?
Mr**** Posted August 13 I require my s to send a photo of her face every morning when she first wakes up. Sure, it's a task, but it instilling a solid reminder, everyday as to who's her daddy, and treks me that I'm on her mind first thing every day.
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