Cry for release

[jinxed]

5 hours ago, WestsideGuy44126 said:

Ladies,
I find this especially interesting as I have been involved in this lifestyle since 2013 and have had several submissive women in my life since then and this thread is the first I’m hearing of this. I’m not here questioning this. Just trying to understand a bit more.

Recently I keep hearing it’s an emotional release. And it leaves me wondering what type of emotions are you purging? Is it helping you release negative emotions from prior experiences? And if not, what do you think might be the common denominator between you ladies?

I believe in always evolving and learning and this ***ked my curiosity.

I look forward to any positive feedback.

I'd be surprised if there was a 'common denominator'. After all, each person comes with their own stories and neural pathways to a scene. 
Speaking for myself, it tends to happen when old wounds have been triggered and have then been held or counteracted by the interaction with a partner. So far, this mostly has happened in vanilla moments but a few times through BDSM play. So to answer your question: I wouldn't say it's about releasing negative emotions but rather experiencing positive emotions for the first time which leads to a short overwhelming wave of gratitude. But again, this might be completely different for someone else! 

Also, @chubiebunie13 thanks for this brilliant question! Crying has become my new favourite kind of somatic release since I've started IFS therapy and as you say, once the tears have ebbed away, you find yourself in the calmest, most peaceful place imaginable. 

 

[Sa****]

I feel like crying is just an expression of emotional honesty. Its a release in a similar way an orgasm is. Because you can happy tears, sad tears, angry tears, excited tears, etc. I think its a sign of how comfortable you are with being *** with your play and/or sexual partner, which is intimate in a way that not many people will ever experience. So I don't there's anything wrong with crying. Honestly, I'd be shocked but also just...weirdly honored that someone I am with trusts me that much to show that side of themselves.

[Ro****]

If that’s what they need to release, it’s welcome here. If it’s from a place of *** and anguish clearly things are going wrong and we need to stop immediately in order to address the situation.

[ha****]

I think I’ve cried for different reasons at different times. Sometimes it was because my partner turned something previously traumatic into a beautiful experience and it was a release of that trauma in part. Other times it was just an overwhelm of sensation and crying is a terrific pressure release. And still other times it was because I realized feelings I hadn’t known were there or how deep they went. That’s the scary part for some people. When feelings start to get involved. But when my partner held me through it, an overwhelming sense of gratitude enveloped me. As someone else said, “release” can mean different things depending on the situation, but any way you look at it, that release is what it’s all about isn’t it?

The only time to be concerned is if the crying is due to being in pAln or new trauma. It’s definitely something that needs to be discussed beforehand or afterword for everyone’s security and comfort. If you know you’re a crier, let your partner know ahead of time to avoid confusion and panic on their end.

[fi****]

I cry sometimes but only when Daddy gives me a good ass beating 😀

[Fi****]

My ex would laugh like get the giggles sometimes after intense orgasms I never understood it though lol

[Cryinks]

Fire1958 above I would love to make you cry if you weren't so far away!

[Maerose420]

I would certainly be worried but go about it however they'd prefer. Like if we're in the middle and wanted me to keep going I would. And for if it's after, I'd hold and comfort them ofc!

[fi****]

Thanks

[Th****]

Learning and knowing your partner is important part of vetted bf. If their response to play is crying, screaming or other noises is good knowledge to have. I have spoken to 2 partners who get to a point where crying is their release to a scene from impact and wants the play to go that far. Checking in during a scene regularly will also give you hints of if your partner is having issues.

[MasterDarcy79]

This is why communication is so important.

If a submissive/slave, etc, has a predisposition to crying then their Dominant/Domme must be aware of it. If that isn't the case, if it comes as a surprise, it would be a deep concern.

Everything should be discussed beforehand, as well as consent given. Boundaries and limits and habits should be known by all parties.

Personally, it turns me on. My sadistic side comes out. I love it.