Dominants: how often do you let your subs share their fantasies?

[Ge****]

I am always amazed at what submissives will come up with when you give their imaginations free rein. And they seem to come up with ways to “***” them that are far crueler than I’d think they might want.

So I’m curious… if you’ve ever allowed your sub(s) to share their fantasies… what’s the most surprising (realistic!) fantasy they have come up with?

This isn’t gender specific, but I honestly believe women are far crueler than we give them credit for. Prove me wrong? I’ll gladly change my mind. But holy shit the stuff I’ve had tossed at me when they feel safe to let go and share!

[Hu****]

I am constantly asking as part of needing to continually push boundaries and explore together experiences that bring joy and excitement to the dynamic.

[Deleted Member]

I’m always open to hearing my subs fantasies lol. I actually like knowing where their minds go and what they secretly crave. One of the more surprising ones was a sub wanting me to have complete control over decorating his apartment, including adding some feminine touches for him. Of course, just because they tell me a fantasy doesn’t mean I’m automatically agreeing to it we still discuss boundaries and what we’re both comfortable with. But women being crueler? Yeah…I’m not going to be the one to prove you wrong 😂😈

[No****]

My Dom’s and my dynamic has been built on shared fantasies. I’ve always been able to tell him what I’m fantasising about.

[Wi****]

Why wouldn’t you “allow” your sub to share their fantasies?

[Ge****]

17 minutes ago, xxCallMeMommyxx said:

I’m always open to hearing my subs fantasies lol. I actually like knowing where their minds go and what they secretly crave. One of the more surprising ones was a sub wanting me to have complete control over decorating his apartment, including adding some feminine touches for him. Of course, just because they tell me a fantasy doesn’t mean I’m automatically agreeing to it we still discuss boundaries and what we’re both comfortable with. But women being crueler? Yeah…I’m not going to be the one to prove you wrong 😂😈

😂😂

I think this comes from the number of times I’ve had a request that’s had me think “Really?? You WANT that??”

Often it’s well within my comfort level just more than I’d expect to be enjoyed. Sometimes it’s more “yeah, that’s a bit fantasy, but that’s where it needs to stay” so yes, definitely negotiation can become a need, if only to better understand it.

That’s a fun (and surprising) request you got. Love it!

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Willis253 said:

Why wouldn’t you “allow” your sub to share their fantasies?

I don’t see how there could be a healthy relationship if a dom isn’t lol

[Ge****]

4 minutes ago, Willis253 said:

Why wouldn’t you “allow” your sub to share their fantasies?

Well I agree it’s definitely something healthy. Maybe it was more about encouragement and creating a space where they want to and feel enabled. “Allowing” might mean the obverse, and I agree that would be weird and unhealthy. My use of the word “let” could be misconstrued, but this is what I was really getting to.

[Deleted Member]

20 minutes ago, Gentleman-Sadist said:

😂😂

I think this comes from the number of times I’ve had a request that’s had me think “Really?? You WANT that??”

Often it’s well within my comfort level just more than I’d expect to be enjoyed. Sometimes it’s more “yeah, that’s a bit fantasy, but that’s where it needs to stay” so yes, definitely negotiation can become a need, if only to better understand it.

That’s a fun (and surprising) request you got. Love it!

Exactly 😂 Sometimes I’m shocked by what they ask for, but I love that they feel safe enough to tell me. I mean I’m not that mean 😂😈👀. Some things are definitely better left as fantasies, while others can be adjusted into something we’d both enjoy. Honestly, figuring that out through negotiation is part of the fun 😈

[Ge****]

Just now, xxCallMeMommyxx said:

Exactly 😂 Sometimes I’m shocked by what they ask for, but I love that they feel safe enough to tell me. I mean I’m not that mean 😂😈👀. Some things are definitely better left as fantasies, while others can be adjusted into something we’d both enjoy. Honestly, figuring that out through negotiation is part of the fun 😈

Absolutely it is!

[Zis]

I think, in the after care they are so cute and bubbly, so its the perfect timing to let them fantasies, while they are safe in my arms.

[Fl****]

I prefer during after care or foreplay circumstances because the open dialogue promotes an environment where by they feel safe and secure enough to open up

[81****]

Never!!!!!

[ey****]

I can't see why you wouldn't have a discussion about what you both would like to try in a healthy kink relationship 

[Wi****]

2 hours ago, xxCallMeMommyxx said:

I don’t see how there could be a healthy relationship if a dom isn’t lol

My thoughts exactly. I’m only allowed to dominate in the areas that my sub allows me to. My sub has the ultimate control and authority.

[Mr****]

Its an enlightenment to say the least

[Th****]

I’ll tortur@ it out of them

[Cu****]

😂😂😂

[Cu****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I can't see why you wouldn't have a discussion about what you both would like to try in a healthy kink relationship 

Because men that have zero power over their lives and ability to firm healthy normal relationships us these situations to pretend they are powerful. It's sad.

[Cu****]

2 hours ago, 810daddy810 said:

Never!!!!!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I hear the ladies beating down your door 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[tr****]

As a sub (AFAB), no one has ever asked me.

[Ar****]

Do you not just allow your submissive to freely share their fantasies no matter what? How do you plan scenes together otherwise?

[IvanEvan]

I've done enough writing in various capacities to know that, if you give people an inch, they will take miles. But, I also do not have a specific sub at the moment. If I did, I would hear them and their fantasies out, often. And often regulate based on those.

[MasterDarcy79]

Let's face facts, men are generally selfish creatures who take, take, take. And that's vanilla men! Add Dominant to the mix and the selfishness goes Godzilla.

Personally, i would classify myself as a hard Dom, a sadist who likes taboo and extreme.

However, my ego isn't as fragile as the majority of men/Doms. If I had a sub/slave, I would actively encourage her to tell me her fantasies and generally what gets her juices flying.

For me it's not even a debate. I'm not saying that there's a rule book and all Dominants should follow the same rules, etc, but any Dominant/Domme worth their salt should be aware of their submissive's/slaves fantasies and what makes them tick.

Communication is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It isn't difficult to listen.