Ro**** Posted September 29 You are definitely not alone in feeling this way, and your feelings are totally valid. As a woman who experiences a lot of fetishization due to my body type, I completely understand that feeling of being reduced to an object or a "trophy" rather than a real person. Even in spaces centered around kinks and desires, it is completely reasonable to want a partner to see and appreciate you, not just your physical traits.
Sp**** Posted September 29 17 hours ago, SeekingSwitch said: Idk man, this sounds like a "steak too juicy, lobster too buttery" deal. I could see it if it was just a feature you couldn't hide. Being targeted for being petite/fat, for your race, gender, whatever and being treated like a novelty is a bummer for sure, and can feel dehumanizing. But by the point they know the specifics about your genitals, you should be way past the vetting process for that. I'd say if it's really an issue, up your communication game and figure out if a person is trustworthy with the information. I'm well endowed, and inside the local community, I have definitely felt like I'm just a 🍆 as people only recognize me by my package from FL at parties. So it can make it difficult to find people who actually care about me more than below the waist. BUT as SeekingSwitch says, this is also a choice on my end by posting pics of my package. And if I'm opening a convo early about it, I'm making that choice. I could leave my size to mystery and pursue people who only see the person first.
Do**** Posted September 29 12 hours ago, Terraklysh said: No. I understand and as some other people pointed out, you're not alone. For me it's being a redhead. I almost prefer people to meet me when I'm in cosplay because then I don't get fetishized, or I do, but it's more because of a similar interest. Not just-"ooh! Red hair!" It's really annoying actually. Ooooo, I'm red hair as well. The pure disgust when I tell them that. Because I dyed my hair due to ME liking it a different color. And now its shaved down to the skin (bald). Every time without failure. But i like your natural hair, you should grow it out and not dye it blahblahbleh....stfu. I love my wigs tho 😊 wish people cared about MY feelings and what I like about MY body
to**** Posted September 29 I've had that men just curious about us cross dressers but that's the way it is people are people I do believe we all do it in 1 way shape or form especially us cross dressers we all want to look like total divas or gorgeous female rock stars just kinda goes with the territory
Ne**** Posted September 29 8 hours ago, DommeYandereOwner said: Ooooo, I'm red hair as well. The pure disgust when I tell them that. Because I dyed my hair due to ME liking it a different color. And now its shaved down to the skin (bald). Every time without failure. But i like your natural hair, you should grow it out and not dye it blahblahbleh....stfu. I love my wigs tho 😊 wish people cared about MY feelings and what I like about MY body Hey, for what it's worth, I do love redheads, but between someone being happy with their appearance and me being happy about their appearance, the former is always preferred. How we choose to dress and carry ourselves is a form of expression on our part. So we're the ones who have to like it, not anybody else.
Re**** Posted September 29 As a black goth woman with a curvy build people constantly push their fetishes on me. It feels so restrictive and makes it impossible to show all sides of my interests bc they focus on the side that pleases them the most. Whether its a sub or dom they want me to be of full service to their fantasy and it is so fucking exhausting. Bc of this behavior i havent had an opportunity to explore what i prefer or want.
Re**** Posted September 29 Yesterday at 09:36 PM, BonBonBunni said: I get tired of hearing "I want you to be my first black girl", or something about my race. I'm always a first or a secret for others. And the over sexualization of something I cannot hide or turn off makes conversations impossible. I have big breasts, I have a fat ass, but I am not someone who just fucks and pleases others...I am more than just my outward appearance. Also, I'm not as sexual as I am made out to be. Instead of talking to me about art, literature, and history I am asked "What are you willing to do for me." This hit so hard
lu**** Posted September 30 Monday at 05:39 PM, Danni44 said: I get fetishised as a goth a lot which ***es me off because I’m not even a goth. Omg same. It’s like, hello I’m more of an emo if anything but honestly I’d rather just be pretty, not “goth.”
Mi**** Posted October 1 There haven’t been a ton of these type of comments in this discussion, but don’t listen to anyone who is saying you’re wrong and should be happy they are fetishizing something about you. There is a very big difference between something you’re attracted to and a fetish—but I think sometimes we throw around the term fetish too easily. Merriam-Webster defines a sexual fetish as, “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.” This goes far beyond something you’re attracted to—it basically is something that without you cannot have sexual gratification. However, we often say something someone is attracted to is a fetish. But that can both convey a negative connotation or judgment of a person, or when directed at someone it can be extremely damaging and make them feel as less than a person. Sadly, men often treat women with this sort of hyper fixation, but anyone is capable of doing this. No one wants to be reduced to just a single feature or trait. And no one should have to be. At the same time, just like over use of the term gaslighting can harm or make those who are truly being gaslit feel like they’re overreacting or can cause people to downplay when someone confides in them that they are being gaslit. Similarly, over labeling or accusing people of having a fetish when it may just be an attraction to, downplays the seriousness when someone is truly fetishized. I’m sorry this is something you have had to experience and I hope that people show you the respect and dignity you deserve as a human being—as all human beings deserve.
da**** Posted October 1 People are so individual on what they like don’t like, what is fetishized and not fetishized. Honesty about what you want and don’t want is key. There is also a balance between having to disclose every like, dislike and limits before hand. Sometimes those can be discovered together. A decent, respectful, nonjudgmental person and a safe word can help. Not everyone wants a huge cock. Not everyone can take a huge cock. Sometimes is a disadvantage. If you’re used only for your size and nothing else, only you can decide if that’s ok. Some people are into that.
sa**** Posted October 10 I know a lot of women say, size doesn't matter, and men really don't believe that. But the truth is, I'd rather have someone that's into the foreplay, more than the actual act. It's funny when I was younger. The big ones used to Excite me, but now it seems I'm tightening up a little in my older age. I just want someone who enjoys the rest of the fetishes and is willing to take the time and effort to enjoy the woman. He's with.
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