Dominants

[TripleXHexxx]

Effective communication, check ins, accountability, transparency, integrity, the willingness to continue to learn, flexibility, a strong knowledge base, self restraint, core values that they honor and a strong set of ethics.

[Un****]

if aftercare feels NATURAL because you actually CARE for the sub, instead of doing a duty, THEN you are on a good path

[Ma****]

Respect is the foundation of BDSM. Without it, there can be no genuine trust, consent or healthy power exchange. A Dominant must respect boundaries, limits and safe words, while a submissive must respect agreed rules and their Dominant’s boundaries. Communication, honesty, safety and aftercare all depend on mutual respect. Power is a privilege built on trust, not a right to control someone without limits. BDSM should empower both people, never diminish either person’s worth.

[Th****]

A good dominant is someone who has 100+% respect for his submissive, someone who has no selfish motives towards the submissive & understands that having her submission is the ultimate gift & privilege, not a right that he has to demand from them. Is willing to totally park & suppress any desires that do not match his submissive's needs, personality, limits, etc. From there is willing to build & earn her trust, respect, & submission from the very first day & not demand that they are given. Is willing to guide, protect, & cherish her submission, support her & help her grow in happiness, does not suppress or *** things on her, respects her limits & constantly supports & checks in on her happiness & feelings.

[Mo****]

Gaining full trust of the sub should be a good doms goal. That doesn’t mean obedience, just the sub knowing they are safe and can believe the doms words and actions are genuine.

[st****]

One who reads between the pages and understands the sub in a way she has not known before. Patience and compassion that garner respect. Care that builds trust. As for kinks and desires it’s all about mutually consented power exchange.

[va****]

I don’t submit to just anyone. It needs to feel like natural dominance, not ***d. I’ve ODD, I’m naturally defiant. Try to exert your control over me by saying you’re “going to make me submit” is just gunna make me call dishonor upon of your whole family.

[po****]

One of my biggest things and issues I've found looking for a LTR dom is not feeling like he's my kind of dominant.
For me, dominance is that masculinity of handling your shit so I won't have to. If I see off the bat you can't take care of yourself, I don't see how you truly can't take care of anyone else, or at least how my mind works.
So far, my experiences have been with men who want a submissive, but don't match efforts or just lack that strength that would give me confidence to follow their lead.
Having a dom say " if you won't stay at my parents with me while I'm at work, this is a problem".. why yes, yes it is because now I no longer see you in a dominant role, but more as submissive. Or they give rules and expectations for responses but then take hours to reply.
I can be truly submit but only if I'm confident in the leadership.

[BB****]

Reading comments.... seems dominant is more of a leadership thing... what about setting rules and expectations up front?

[va****]

2 minutes ago, chocobbcLA said:

Reading comments.... seems dominant is more of a leadership thing... what about setting rules and expectations up front?

Rules can’t be respected if the person in charge can’t be respected.

[po****]

2 minutes ago, valentinesghost said:

Rules can’t be respected if the person in charge can’t be respected.

Thisssssss! This entirely!

[pu****]

Empathy.

[Do****]

43 minutes ago, poision_ivy5696 said:

One of my biggest things and issues I've found looking for a LTR dom is not feeling like he's my kind of dominant.
For me, dominance is that masculinity of handling your shit so I won't have to. If I see off the bat you can't take care of yourself, I don't see how you truly can't take care of anyone else, or at least how my mind works.
So far, my experiences have been with men who want a submissive, but don't match efforts or just lack that strength that would give me confidence to follow their lead.
Having a dom say " if you won't stay at my parents with me while I'm at work, this is a problem".. why yes, yes it is because now I no longer see you in a dominant role, but more as submissive. Or they give rules and expectations for responses but then take hours to reply.
I can be truly submit but only if I'm confident in the leadership.

Thank you for writing this, it just put a couple things into better clarity and connectedness for me to better hone my leadership. Hope you've a great day, feel free to match with me if you're interested! Wish you the best!!

[H0****]

As a dom, I’ll take every pro and con and reflect on it. Thanks for this thread.. 😁

[Cl****]

1 hour ago, poision_ivy5696 said:

One of my biggest things and issues I've found looking for a LTR dom is not feeling like he's my kind of dominant.
For me, dominance is that masculinity of handling your shit so I won't have to. If I see off the bat you can't take care of yourself, I don't see how you truly can't take care of anyone else, or at least how my mind works.
So far, my experiences have been with men who want a submissive, but don't match efforts or just lack that strength that would give me confidence to follow their lead.
Having a dom say " if you won't stay at my parents with me while I'm at work, this is a problem".. why yes, yes it is because now I no longer see you in a dominant role, but more as submissive. Or they give rules and expectations for responses but then take hours to reply.
I can be truly submit but only if I'm confident in the leadership.

Someone who got my question. 🤭 this is why I asked. Some just don’t implement their part in the role.

[bu****]

I think the truth is most doms arent really doms. They have fallen into it because they have a lack of confidence outside of the role and this enables them to get women and fake confidence. It all falls apart though because they cant live up to their requirements.

[BB****]

2 hours ago, valentinesghost said:

Rules can’t be respected if the person in charge can’t be respected.

Makes sense. How you be a person promoting good health but you smoke?

[va****]

17 minutes ago, chocobbcLA said:

Makes sense. How you be a person promoting good health but you smoke?

Who said I promote good health? Tf are you talking about.

[BB****]

43 minutes ago, valentinesghost said:

Who said I promote good health? Tf are you talking about.

Metaphor

[BB****]

Curious.... Is being dominant control, being aggressive or what consensual parties agree on?

[wi****]

Emotional maturity, and empathy.

[BB****]

Is it fair to ask... How and what is a clear blanketed definition of a dom and role?

[BB****]

Minus side quest definitions

[ta****]

Trust, know the others limits and how close to or how far pushed they want them. Consistency

[ss****]

Excellent communication, empathy, desire, commitment, improvisational skills and great after care. Simple things matter!