Dominants

[Pr****]

I am convinced that labeling one’s self as “dom” is just a cover for “***r”. I would love to be proven wrong, but it seems like that’s all I’ve ran into.

[as****]

Emotional intelligence... reads their partner's reactions and understands their needs.

Confidence... leads without arrogance or needing to prove themselves.

Communication.. listens, discusses boundaries and respects consent.

Patience... builds trust rather than demanding submission.

Adaptability... understands that everyone is different and adjusts accordingly.

Self-control... manages their own emotions and impulses.

Attentiveness... takes an interest in their partner's pleasure, reactions and experience.

Aftercare... recognises that their responsibility extends beyond the scene.

Integrity... is honest, consistent and keeps their promises.

Psychological awareness... understands that dominance is as much about the mind as the physical experience.

Ultimately, a good Dom doesn't simply want control over someone. They understand the responsibility of being trusted with that control.

And that trust is the sweetest part of all ❤️

[Cl****]

1 hour ago, ashford845664 said:

Emotional intelligence... reads their partner's reactions and understands their needs.

Confidence... leads without arrogance or needing to prove themselves.

Communication.. listens, discusses boundaries and respects consent.

Patience... builds trust rather than demanding submission.

Adaptability... understands that everyone is different and adjusts accordingly.

Self-control... manages their own emotions and impulses.

Attentiveness... takes an interest in their partner's pleasure, reactions and experience.

Aftercare... recognises that their responsibility extends beyond the scene.

Integrity... is honest, consistent and keeps their promises.

Psychological awareness... understands that dominance is as much about the mind as the physical experience.

Ultimately, a good Dom doesn't simply want control over someone. They understand the responsibility of being trusted with that control.

And that trust is the sweetest part of all ❤️

I like the integrity part of this probably the most - oddly 🙈

[po****]

5 hours ago, ClaireBear21 said:

Someone who got my question. 🤭 this is why I asked. Some just don’t implement their part in the role.

I've been struggling this for a bit now as it hasn't been a singular situation. I just didn't expect to come across this as much as I have i suppose.

[sc****]

Thank you for this explanation everybody. I thought a Dom was a jerk in the bedroom. I now know that I am a dom. I love the psychological game of finding what she wants and helping her get there. To give my devotion to them, to earn trust and ensure safety. To take her to deep waters and find herself. To break the intensity with a playful remark or action then bring them back. My pleasure is not important, only hers. I need to learn more. My deep dive into my sexuality has been so much more fulfilling than I ever imagined. Thank you folks for helping me find myself again.

[de****]

It's not all about sex. It's taking care of the submissive physically, mentally, emotionally, then sexually. It's about making them feel wanted and loved. Most of all AFTERCARE IS A MUST!

[Pr****]

15 minutes ago, dehuntusmc said:

It's not all about sex. It's taking care of the submissive physically, mentally, emotionally, then sexually. It's about making them feel wanted and loved. Most of all AFTERCARE IS A MUST!

I love this 😭😭😭

[de****]

31 minutes ago, PrettyVice said:

I love this 😭😭😭

There are so many smutty fuckboi doms nowadays and subs. It's hard to find the real ones

[sc****]

I hope i didn't come across as a fuck Boi. That wasnt my intent. I agree with the aftercare. In fact, I should learn more about it. I think I do well but I should be prepared.

[De****]

It’s about companionship. While we are dominant the support does go both ways. Those who are willing to put in as much as they get out.

For me personally I enjoy the push and pull. Someone who is willing to brat when they can and challenge, but also know when to fall into a role.

Sex is great, but the mental and emotional connection is what brings it all together and provide the deeper satisfying meaning to the dynamic.

[Stilllife82]

Posted it on my page, I also posted some directions for newbies.

Competent BDSM dominants are extremely rare. There is also a difference between top and Dom, someone holding flogger for a scene or in the bedroom or in scenes is called a Top.

You can use those questions below to quiz them.

⬇️

few questions to ask to a potential top/ Dominant:
1. can you please tell me what BDSM stands for?
Are there different traditions? Where does it come from?
2. What are the different safety protocols you put in place in order to protect your bottom/sub physically and mentally? Safewords? Aftercare? Can you explain them?
3. In a scene where rope is involved what else do you think a top/dom needs in the room for safety?
4. When do you discuss limits and which tools do you use in order to discuss those limits?
5. What is the difference between top/bottom and Dominant/submissive?
6. Can you tell me more about punishments or discipline?
7. What is the extent of D/s? Only in the bedroom or outside?


If they don't get those basics questions right:
RUN.
As a new individual discovering D/s, ask those questions, don't assume anyone is a Dom because they so.
Quiz them, vet them, no mercy, your safety first.
Of course you need to be able to answer those questions yourself hence why knowledge is power and....safety.

Sir Marius.

[DominantesHerz]

Responsibility

[Nylon-Nellie]

Ask a Dom/D-type and see what their answers are.

[DominantesHerz]

16 minutes ago, Nylon-Nellie said:

Ask a Dom/D-type and see what their answers are.

? I dont know what u mean

[DominantesHerz]

17 minutes ago, Nylon-Nellie said:

Ask a Dom/D-type and see what their answers are.

I cant see that i asked u sth...

[as****]

20 hours ago, ClaireBear21 said:

I like the integrity part of this probably the most - oddly 🙈

I don't think that's odd at all. For me... integrity is the foundation of everything else. Confidence, chemistry and the dynamic itself are all well and good but without honesty, consistency and trust, what have you actually got?

I think how someone behaves when they have another persons trust and vulnerability in their hands says an awful lot about their character. 🤷

[Do****]

Confidence, big picture thinking, good ability to communicate and be direct. Respectful of others, kind and technically knowledgeable and experienced to name a few.

[Mi****]

Clear communication, takes the time to learn their sub and what they are looking for, Confidence, commanding tone, self-control, ability to read body language, understanding of the physical body for all the reasons including safety, honors all boundaries at all times, knows how to take and maintain the lead, knows when to stop, knows when it's ok to keep going.

[ro****]

Comms. Understanding the role and expectations. Safety and security. Good hygiene practices!