Can all handle a woman who kneels by choice?

[Va****]

I’m fiercely independent, intelligent, opinionated, stubborn as hell, and perfectly capable of running my own life.

I don’t need a man to lead me. But God help me, I love one who makes me WANT to follow.

Dominating an alpha submissive isn’t about overpowering her. It’s about captivating her mind, earning her respect, matching her wit, and having the confidence to handle the absolute menace she occasionally becomes just to see what you’re made of.

Imagine a woman who answers to absolutely no one choosing to surrender to you. The loyalty, enthusiasm, playful defiance, and breathtaking obedience when you’ve earned it. A woman that could and would tell you to go fuck yourself, instead, smiling with a “yes, Sir.”

My submission is a privilege, not a participation trophy.

So, Dominants and submissives alike, what do you think makes a strong-willed submissive genuinely want to surrender, and what makes a Dominant worthy of that trust? I’m particularly interested in hearing both sides.

[Ne****]

I feel like i could've written this myself! The life I've lived has made me this strong, independent, I can do it myself woman. But I crave someone who makes me feel like I want to be soft and feminine. One who makes me feel secure and safe enough to drop my guards because I know he'll take care of things. One who slowly works at making a door in the walls I've built that only he has the key for.

I don't think there's one specific answer for what I feel makes a Dom worthy. But for me it would be one who is patient, takes the time to build that trust, to show me they can lead with kindness and are safe for me to lower my drawbridge to let them start building that doorway. One who will take the time to get to know me, too know why those walls were built. And can genuinely show me that if I let him see the most fragile pieces of me he won't break them more and maybe he'll even be able to help me fix them.

[Se****]

Self control.
Every intelligent woman, and i found that, invariably, alpha submissives are intelligent, know that a woman can use sexuality, sensuality, and flirting, to influence men to get what they want. They figure it out at a young age. They also learn there can be risks and outright danger to it if some men misconstrue the signs.
An Alpha sub will, in all likelihood, be very good at turning up her feminine powers to 11. And in this domain she might be restrained. That makes her actually *** to real danger. She needs someone who has real self-mastery. She submits because she has found someone she cannot influence, and hebce who she trusts is safe even when she loses herself in her submission.

[Vo****]

It’s a requirement

[Go****]

@@valomar nbsp;my lord I feel like you have written down my soul with this… my submission is of the highest gift and it’s cute to see who thinks they can deserve/handle it… thank you for putting this into words!!

[Pu****]

This!! This is what I scream and no one hears!!

[ba****]

In my experience subs have been people who are always super high strung always stressing and worrying and have wanted to submit as a way to deal with all that stress and just turn their brain off and just do as they were told in my personal opinion I’m not worthy of that trust but I do everything in my power not to damage it

[IM****]

ValOMar, that is a very unique question? After reading everything you wrote, I have a come up with a pretty simple answer but decline to share it for three reasons: 1. Your question is more on the rhetorical side (actually, it's a loaded question) and you have your answer already that fits your narrative. God couldn't even make you change it now; 2. Referring to answer 1., this question is your way of solidifying your thought and you need people to co-sign with you (your thought being whoever should be grateful just knowing you and the ground you walk on); and 3. Actually your post has given exactly what type of person you really are and it doesn't exactly jive with what you wrote. There is two points that could easily be of mention. However, it's not my place to say anything because even though your behavior is not unique, I don't know you and, more-than-likely, would have difficulty accepting the truth because I believe you know the truth. You are an intelligent woman, entitled, and believe your aggressive approach to situations makes you an alpha.

Take this with a grain of salt and enjoy your week.

[ki****]

As a switch I can completely understand where you're coming from. It's very hard to trust a dominant to allow them to control that it takes to actually dominate me. That being said I have found in my experience at least that that comes with time and trust. Communication is the key. There are some instances when I crave being submissive and yet I can't find anyone to dominate me because I do have those barriers up. So I have to allow myself to trust myself with the person that I want to play with. It's not always about the other person and what they provide sometimes it's about my own internal boundaries that I have set due to other things that have happened in my past.

On the flip side as a dominant when I'm in a dominant rule I have run into several submissives that hesitate to relinquish any type of control. What I have found in that situation is it's a slow burn type process we're running a marathon we're not sitting here running a sprint. So you take your time you show them the things that you control in your day-to-day life without ever having to explain it to them or show them make them feel submissive and day-to-day life and slowly they will open up to you and allow you to take control and take care of them. It's once again not a Sprint it's a marathon. I will also say any submissive that gives me total control from the very beginning is a red flag it shows me that they don't understand themselves they don't have autonomy and they don't feel comfortable taking care of their own lives which in itself is a red flag for me because I also want a partner outside of the lifestyle because let's be honest you can't live the lifestyle 24/7/365.

[bl****]

Love when that happens

[Sl****]

Go off sis ❤️

[Tr****]

Not just handle an alpha sub, I seek them out. I'm not attracted to people who are by default meek and submissive. I'm attracted to confident, intelligent, high performing women. I need with, challenge, and stimulating conversation to be interested. I know they have the means to get anything they want. But they can't buy or install for themselves the dynamic that develops between us....Me fully understanding what they want and creating that elusive element and safe space in their lives. Once trust and care are established, it's an honor to be the one to provide the D/S dynamic for them. The dichotomy of alpha in the "everyday" and submissive with me creates a stronger dynamic.
 

[on****]

1 hour ago, kindafitsortathicc said:

As a switch I can completely understand where you're coming from. It's very hard to trust a dominant to allow them to control that it takes to actually dominate me. That being said I have found in my experience at least that that comes with time and trust. Communication is the key. There are some instances when I crave being submissive and yet I can't find anyone to dominate me because I do have those barriers up. So I have to allow myself to trust myself with the person that I want to play with. It's not always about the other person and what they provide sometimes it's about my own internal boundaries that I have set due to other things that have happened in my past.

On the flip side as a dominant when I'm in a dominant rule I have run into several submissives that hesitate to relinquish any type of control. What I have found in that situation is it's a slow burn type process we're running a marathon we're not sitting here running a sprint. So you take your time you show them the things that you control in your day-to-day life without ever having to explain it to them or show them make them feel submissive and day-to-day life and slowly they will open up to you and allow you to take control and take care of them. It's once again not a Sprint it's a marathon. I will also say any submissive that gives me total control from the very beginning is a red flag it shows me that they don't understand themselves they don't have autonomy and they don't feel comfortable taking care of their own lives which in itself is a red flag for me because I also want a partner outside of the lifestyle because let's be honest you can't live the lifestyle 24/7/365.

dudes the fucking bdsm philosopher

[Va****]

1 hour ago, IMGallant said:

ValOMar, that is a very unique question? After reading everything you wrote, I have a come up with a pretty simple answer but decline to share it for three reasons: 1. Your question is more on the rhetorical side (actually, it's a loaded question) and you have your answer already that fits your narrative. God couldn't even make you change it now; 2. Referring to answer 1., this question is your way of solidifying your thought and you need people to co-sign with you (your thought being whoever should be grateful just knowing you and the ground you walk on); and 3. Actually your post has given exactly what type of person you really are and it doesn't exactly jive with what you wrote. There is two points that could easily be of mention. However, it's not my place to say anything because even though your behavior is not unique, I don't know you and, more-than-likely, would have difficulty accepting the truth because I believe you know the truth. You are an intelligent woman, entitled, and believe your aggressive approach to situations makes you an alpha.

Take this with a grain of salt and enjoy your week.

😘

[x-****]

Good morning and thank you for your topic of discussion.  

Kneeling represents a healthy BDSM relationship/dynamic.  It shows mutual trust between two individuals that have negotiated, and chosen to do so freely.  It is a gift that shows respect, along with our submission.  It is a choice, never ***d.  

With all due respect, when you say “handle” in reference to your topic name, it gives me the sense of entitled, and more bratty to me than confidence, or “Alpha” as you say.  
 

Being a strong submissive isn’t always loud, you can lead quietly, and respectfully.  But at the end of the day, I feel, we are looking for emotional balance when seeking a Dominant.  We set boundaries, and do not compromise them.  That in itself is powerful.

To answer your question as to what I seek in a Dominant: They lead, are emotionally mature, caring, communicate well, and care about your psychological and physical safety.  
 

I wish you all a beautiful day,

Blue 💙

[Va****]

21 minutes ago, x-BlueDiamond-x said:

Good morning and thank you for your topic of discussion.  

Kneeling represents a healthy BDSM relationship/dynamic.  It shows mutual trust between two individuals that have negotiated, and chosen to do so freely.  It is a gift that shows respect, along with our submission.  It is a choice, never ***d.  

With all due respect, when you say “handle” in reference to your topic name, it gives me the sense of entitled, and more bratty to me than confidence, or “Alpha” as you say.  
 

Being a strong submissive isn’t always loud, you can lead quietly, and respectfully.  But at the end of the day, I feel, we are looking for emotional balance when seeking a Dominant.  We set boundaries, and do not compromise them.  That in itself is powerful.

To answer your question as to what I seek in a Dominant: They lead, are emotionally mature, caring, communicate well, and care about your psychological and physical safety.  
 

I wish you all a beautiful day,

Blue 💙

Thank you for taking the time to put together such a well thought out and beautiful response.

Every woman has her own unique gift of submission, and I think that’s part of what’s beautiful. Just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It’s the definition of submission belongs to the One being given the gift. 😉

[Sp****]

3 hours ago, IMGallant said:

ValOMar, that is a very unique question? After reading everything you wrote, I have a come up with a pretty simple answer but decline to share it for three reasons: 1. Your question is more on the rhetorical side (actually, it's a loaded question) and you have your answer already that fits your narrative. God couldn't even make you change it now; 2. Referring to answer 1., this question is your way of solidifying your thought and you need people to co-sign with you (your thought being whoever should be grateful just knowing you and the ground you walk on); and 3. Actually your post has given exactly what type of person you really are and it doesn't exactly jive with what you wrote. There is two points that could easily be of mention. However, it's not my place to say anything because even though your behavior is not unique, I don't know you and, more-than-likely, would have difficulty accepting the truth because I believe you know the truth. You are an intelligent woman, entitled, and believe your aggressive approach to situations makes you an alpha.

Take this with a grain of salt and enjoy your week.

Bro her question was about as rhetorical as "What kind of sandwich do you like?"

[ey****]

I think if she's choosing to kneel, and keeps choosing to do so - then it's cos it's with someone she feels can handle what she personally wants from it 

[De****]

I think when a dom creates an environment where I can be safe, speak my thoughts and feelings without being dismissed and having open conversations without boundaries being disrespected us what will make a strong submissive to truly submit

[Ta****]

An alpha sub actually has 2 meanings in today’s kink world. The traditional meaning applies to BDSM dungeons/families where one sub has a leadership role among subs even to the point of acting an a den mother to other subs. The more recent definition is what you’re using: a sub with independence in the sub’s personal life (which, can be a red flag for a sub who has problems with truly surrendering control even in a long term relationship although you seem to have your balance under control).

Yes, submission and surrender is a gift, given freely in trust. The Dom should guide through nervous boundaries to help the sub experience “new highs” and hopefully subspace.

[ma****]

I’d love to pick your brain one of these days! I’m actually a sapiosexual myself.

[x-****]

6 hours ago, onecalmpenguin said:

 

dudes the fucking bdsm philosopher

 

7 hours ago, kindafitsortathicc said:

As a switch I can completely understand where you're coming from. It's very hard to trust a dominant to allow them to control that it takes to actually dominate me. That being said I have found in my experience at least that that comes with time and trust. Communication is the key. There are some instances when I crave being submissive and yet I can't find anyone to dominate me because I do have those barriers up. So I have to allow myself to trust myself with the person that I want to play with. It's not always about the other person and what they provide sometimes it's about my own internal boundaries that I have set due to other things that have happened in my past.

On the flip side as a dominant when I'm in a dominant rule I have run into several submissives that hesitate to relinquish any type of control. What I have found in that situation is it's a slow burn type process we're running a marathon we're not sitting here running a sprint. So you take your time you show them the things that you control in your day-to-day life without ever having to explain it to them or show them make them feel submissive and day-to-day life and slowly they will open up to you and allow you to take control and take care of them. It's once again not a Sprint it's a marathon. I will also say any submissive that gives me total control from the very beginning is a red flag it shows me that they don't understand themselves they don't have autonomy and they don't feel comfortable taking care of their own lives which in itself is a red flag for me because I also want a partner outside of the lifestyle because let's be honest you can't live the lifestyle 24/7/365.

In my opinion, if you have an issue with trust, perhaps you should work on loving yourself first.  Self love is of the utmost importance, and is fundamental for a healthy relationship/dynamic.  It starts with you, not a Dominant 💙

[df****]

This hit hard. I'm interested in reading all the comments on this

[Adam2034]

You first need to feel comfortable with the person you are submitting to. It’s basic BDSM that it’s all in the mind. As where the pleasure is found that’s where the domination is found that’s where the submissive is found. All starts and ends there.

[Br****]

A dominant is worthy of the trust by the empathy, understanding, control and flexibility they show.

I know the Master of the Scarlet Chamber in Southampton, a title well deserved. I’ve seen him discuss clear limits beforehand thoroughly and professionally, check in regularly, he always takes a person to their comfort zone +1 and I’ve been in a hotel with a partner 24 hours later with him checking in by phone and text to help manage the sub drop.

As I’m a pleasure dom, I outsource all of the heavy BDSM to him. My subs love it, and all four of us benefit from the arrangement (although bratting sometimes occurs just to get a proper beating it turns out).