How To Handle Conflict In Case The Dominant Is Wrong?

[Deleted Member]

To submissive/bottoms:
Has there been a time when your Dominant has made a decision that you knew 110% that it was going to be a wrong call? How did you bring it up? Did they make the same decision after hearing you out, and how did that make you feel?

To Dominants:
Has there been a time when you made a decision and were faced with a refusal of your sub because they thought it was wrong or immoral? How would you like to be approached when your call might not be in the best interest of each other?

Any input and experience is welcome and appreciated.

Thank you.

[Se****]

Communication. I can't give much advice, as myself is new to this lifestyle. But my dom always asks for my consent. He told me I have an every right to say NO and if there is a need to discuss, we communicate.

[Da****]

SexretSinz is right, Communication is key. I like to have a ‘semi safe word’ which basically breaks the play for a minute and just gives either side a chance to say they aren’t entirely sure about something and can air any concerns. I’ve had it before whereby I made a decision and a sub used the word and we paused the play, had a chat about the concerns and then acted accordingly. No dom worth their salt wouldnt listen to their sub.

[DA****]

Exactly what these two said never *** and always discuss before or like 9227 said semi safe word always make sure your sub is respected and treated right and you’ll be rewarded with more and sub would be willing to do more if they know you have their safety and concerns in mind

[it****]

I think there has to be a line between reality and fantasy, when you are with someone it doesn’t matter anymore who’s the dominant and who’s submissive. There has to be serious discussion and proper communication.

[Ba****]

I have absolute trust in my Dominant and he has absolute trust in me. Part of that is because I will speak up if he’s mistaken or something feels wrong or unsafe. In urgent situations, I will use my safe word, but mostly, I just approach him respectfully and ask to discuss things. We research together as needed. If, however, he opted to go along with something anyway… (assuming here it isn’t unsafe or a breach of limits) well, I would do as instructed but the consequences would be his alone to shoulder.

[do****]

Hi Pneuma! 👋🏻
This is my general opinion on the subject:
A Dom has to take into consideration your input just as much as you do theirs. Discussions beforehand always help to have a cleae idea of what is expected of all parties involved. Listening, understanding and compromising can help tremendously in creating a safe sapce. As a sub, if you feel you aren't being hear or have your opinion considered you have every right to speak up, refuse or use your safe word to convey to your dom you aren't ok with something or do not feel comfortable with a situation. The dom has to abide and respect your wishes as well. After all it is s a partnership where you both play their roles but work together .

[Deleted Member]

Anyone here perfect? Anyone? No? Of course not. We're humans and we make mistakes, we fail, and it's what we choose to do afterwards that determines if we deserve our role.

As a Dominant, I promise I am trying my best to take care of the people I'm in charge of. I put their best interests first. But I fail sometimes, I miss something, I forget something, and someone is at risk of being hurt because of it. So first, I acknowledge my failure, I then check my person and provide apologies and aftercare as if a scene had gone badly, then we talk about it, we find what caused the failure then we fix it and move on.

Consent is Paramount, and withdrawing consent is never punished. Never. If someone punishes you in anyway for withdrawing consent regardless of your reason, then they are not fit to serve or be served by. Period, end of discussion.

[CopperKnob]

Answering outside of the D/s arena because most questions in the forums are answerable without it. D/s isnt special nor does it negate what is moral/ethical.

Context is everything. It very much depends on what the decision is as well as the consequences to self/others.
As adults we make numerous decisions every day and, as long as we can rationalise them and they dont impact others in/directly in a negative way they are ours to make. Of course we will all make rash/impulsive/wrong decisions from time to time, that's life but, in that instance it's more about what happens next. Did we learn from it/what did we do with that learning.

[do****]

Per our contract rules

Rule #45 - ******** will ask permission to ask questions and ask politely to speak freely when she believes Mr. Trouble is making a bad decision.