Where's the art of flirting? 😈

[Te****]

Can we talk about flirting for a minute? 😅

I swear, sometimes opening my DMs feels like Groundhog Day.

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"You're beautiful."

"You're gorgeous."

"You have pretty eyes."

And listen, I appreciate compliments! But sometimes I feel like Odette from The Swan Princess.

"Thank you. But what else?"

Because seriously, what else? 😂

I literally have sapiosexual in my profile. I love intellectual banter, witty comebacks, playful teasing, and conversations that make me think. So why does every conversation seem to start with the same five lines?

One of my favorite opening messages was someone asking me what kind of sea creature I'd be.

Was I confused? Absolutely. 🤨🤣

But was I intrigued enough to respond? You bet!

And I've had people give me compliments that made me blush so hard my cheeks hurt. Not because they were explicit or particularly elaborate, but because they were unexpected, imaginative, and felt personal.

That's the difference for me.

I want to flirt! I want to tease and be teased. I want someone who notices the little things, makes me laugh, challenges me, and occasionally leaves me s***chless.

And as a brat, that carries over into D/s dynamics too.

The sexiest thing a Dom can do isn't demand my submission/obedience. It's make me want to give it. 😈

Someone who can match my wit, turn my teasing back on me, and make me grin because they got the better of me? Oh, that's attractive.

You don't have to be a genius. You don't have to write poetry. Just show me there's a curious, playful person behind the profile.

And please, for the love of flirting, give me something more to work with than "How are you?" 😩😂

I KNOW I'm not alone here. What makes someone actually stand out in your DMs? What's the most memorable opener you've received?

[Da****]

The “how are you” kills me every time. Same with the “what’s up”. I will only respond with the ceiling or sky at this point. What do you mean that is all you got. At least pick something from my profile or ask an interesting question. Something!

Best question I got ask was “what kind of tea would I be?”

Let me know if you ever find meaningful conversation that doesn’t abruptly stop when you aren’t the one carrying the conversation. Just so I can have a little hope it isn’t all doomed on here.

[De****]

Soo my husband and I share an acct… I basically manage it/send messages. Soo many people don’t respond it’s crazy. Like I’m genuinely looking for a couple or female and not sure if it’s that they aren’t looking for anyone currently.. not sure if we aren’t their type and don’t even deserve a response.. not sure if they even read the message, but it’s underwhelming when we send messages and it’s to the point where I’m down to just “hey how are you” or “hey.. interested”.. just to see if I get a response… happy to spark a conversation and QUICK.. but can’t even barely get responses to start one. 😕

[hot-springs206194]

I have a well equipped dungeon.
People text me with “I want to visit your place”.
I ask, “Why?”.

[Se****]

YESSS. I agree. It’s becoming hard to feel something when I read a message. But I’m the same way.. I require intellectual conversation. I get bored extremely easily. Words are everything. Esp in my head. If you can’t get me going with words alone then there’s no hope for you. It’s sad bc I don’t want to leave them feeling like damn I’m not good enough but at the same time I’m like dying of boredom. I just don’t respond sometimes bc there’s NOTHING to respond to.

[Da****]

I’m right there with you. I know I look good but I like to hear I like your commitment, or style or friendship. I live a guy that helps me ease into relaxing around him. It helps me let down my guard. Isn’t saying supposed to be fun?

[Sh****]

Yes! The conversation is how I learn about my potential partner, because it's not all put on a profile to read. I'm not there to read minds either.
I will feel respected, safe and comfortable sharing myself if that person makes conversation. If you give me nothing - you get nothing. It's a mood killer! Take the time to read the profile and pick a detail to make conversation about.

[d_guglieme]

I generally try to give some room for error.

Someone new to the app might want to open with something more direct or "stylized" than they would normally use. (They probably learn pretty quickly that it doesn't work.)

I was guilty of this with one of my early messages here. (I tried it on somebody just far enough away that failure would be "low cost".)

And, I have got a few messages that all but say "trial balloon". I just ignore them.

[Dadbod-7035]

17 minutes ago, DeviousDuoSwitch said:

Soo my husband and I share an acct… I basically manage it/send messages. Soo many people don’t respond it’s crazy. Like I’m genuinely looking for a couple or female and not sure if it’s that they aren’t looking for anyone currently.. not sure if we aren’t their type and don’t even deserve a response.. not sure if they even read the message, but it’s underwhelming when we send messages and it’s to the point where I’m down to just “hey how are you” or “hey.. interested”.. just to see if I get a response… happy to spark a conversation and QUICK.. but can’t even barely get responses to start one. 😕

This is the correct response and to be honest if we match and I sent good first message then they can’t hold a remote conversation

[Je****]

Alot of these woman just on here to flaunt ...not to really be about it...just my honest opinion

[Je****]

If u give me nothing u get nothing

[ta****]

I LOVE that you took the time to not only share this thought, but to elaborate.
I feel the SAME.
Here I am thinking that I’m wanting too much, after all here we are - on this site.
And yes I LOVE banter and chit chat- it gets me goin😉

[wo****]

Probably doesn’t help that some don’t read the whole bio or even more do not know what sapiosexual means.

[ch****]

Appreciate this ... im curious when does flirting become a bunch of small talk and not flirty leading to actual meetings? Also when did demi and sapio become a thing? What happend to "You're cute...Wanna "Get Together"?"

[Ur****]

I absolutely agree!!!!! And also would like to stress as well…… DO NOT send the first message about breaking into my home or anything along the lines of “taking me”…..just absolutely not as a first message. Get to know a person and then discuss dynamics. Grab my attention in a good way.

[Bi****]

I always try and make a comment about something on their profile, introduce myself, and ask an engaging question. I still get blocked, deleted or put behind the paywall.

[ch****]

1 minute ago, BigJohn1964 said:

I always try and make a comment about something on their profile, introduce myself, and ask an engaging question. I still get blocked, deleted or put behind the paywall.

Happens....I see im not the only one this happens too...

[ch****]

There's a major disconnect with how genders and sexes communicate in the gamified digital age

[Bi****]

Absolutely. I understand that women get absolutely swarmed on these applications that doesn’t make it any easier for those of us that legitimately want to meet you and wanna talk. Take you for example. I can’t just send you a message complementing you on the pics on your profile because you have set a age range. I’m guessing that excludes me you were totally within your right to do so I just accepted as a fact of life.

[So****]

The issue for me is when I come in respectfully it's considered "bland" or "low effort" both parties have to show mutual interest for flirting to be done properly. I prefer a few solid "who are you" kind of conversations prior to anything else.

[au****]

This whole app is full of basics. That’s why they are here. Realistically if anyone was that much of a draw they wouldn’t be on the I yet net begging for attention so you’re gonna get the same basic story every time. This is a fetish app. My approach is, “hey, how gross are you? 2/5 people on here actually admit to having herpes, do you have it too, Or what? Let’s hang out for the week and schedule std testing so you’ll hopefully test clean and we can fuck for like the next year+ and not have to worry about anything?” Would you believe how many times I get blocked? And I’m like, “ok, take your disease ridden ass back to fakebook where the sniveling cowards dwell.” 🤣

[he****]

Very nicely said Terraklvsh

[li****]

47 minutes ago, Sexcgirl said:

YESSS. I agree. It’s becoming hard to feel something when I read a message. But I’m the same way.. I require intellectual conversation. I get bored extremely easily. Words are everything. Esp in my head. If you can’t get me going with words alone then there’s no hope for you. It’s sad bc I don’t want to leave them feeling like damn I’m not good enough but at the same time I’m like dying of boredom. I just don’t respond sometimes bc there’s NOTHING to respond to.

so, I am new to the site, but the first impression is many, many people are new and many people say they are new to this. That includes me. So, while I might have some things of interest in my head, it might not be easy to express to someone in a text message. I am the exact same way. I want to get to know someone first. And, I have been in a LTR for many years and recently out, so every part of me is craving something and I do not know what it is. On the other side though some have expectations and I cannot read their minds. To ghost someone after a short exchange is not a great way to connect with someone.

[he****]

Terraklysh

[to****]

The most memorable for me was your so pretty I'd like to at least try to impregnate you lol 😆