pl**** Posted 1 hour ago Completely fair and totally agree! It’s the plight of dating apps. If I may offer my honest take “from the other side” lol; it’s that, yes you’re right, many guys throw out low effort messages and hope something sticks. I’ve even done the same when the person just has NOTHING on their profile for me to go off of. Most of the time though, I do genuinely try to craft something unique to each person I reach out to. But when the average response is silence, single word answers, or even just “hey”, it gets challenging. I’m more than happy to put the extra effort to break the ice, set the tone, and lead the dance! But my god please you gotta at least dance with me 😭 the amount of times it’s felt like I’m talking to wall, or have someone reciprocate only to fall off the earth… drives me nuts😂 and that’s not even mentioning the bots, scammers, and ppl just straight up asking for *** lol I understand it’s not anyone’s fault, it’s the unfortunate reality of the dating app landscape. Women get bombarded with hundreds of low effort and creepy messages from dudes, and guys feel like they’re talking into a void. As a result, everyone becomes jaded and unwilling to put in effort, which sucks 😔 But to end on a positive note, there ARE lovely amazing people on here that I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting! 🥰 So in my opinion, putting in the effort is still totally worth it, you just gotta get through the NPCs 😂
li**** Posted 1 hour ago 5 minutes ago, torontodanielle said: The most memorable for me was your so pretty I'd like to at least try to impregnate you lol 😆 wonder what the at most would have been
Ba**** Posted 1 hour ago Well I can feel both sides actually. Men struggles to get attention. And put their hands down already. Women get overwhelmed. So one more “hi” feels like an attack. And nothing grants a good match))) it can start with just hi.
ch**** Posted 1 hour ago 19 minutes ago, Solomon89 said: The issue for me is when I come in respectfully it's considered "bland" or "low effort" both parties have to show mutual interest for flirting to be done properly. I prefer a few solid "who are you" kind of conversations prior to anything else. This.
BZ**** Posted 1 hour ago I 100% agree. And gentlemen, allow me to add another perspective, because the struggle is not exclusive to just one person ! My inbox has seen its fair share of linguistic catastrophes: “S’up!” “Hey, cutie!” “Wanna touch you!” And, of course, the occasional word vomit that seems to bypass the brain entirely on its way to the keyboard. Now, don’t misunderstand me. I appreciate a compliment, and I enjoy being desired. But there is a considerable difference between expressing attraction and making a woman feel like the next available body on someone’s shopping list. Desire is wonderful. Expressing it with intelligence, humour, and imagination? Now, that is seductive. Read her profile… if she wrote some things … take the time to read them - find the things she talks about with enthusiasm - then make an introduction and mention what you enjoyed reading from her and what else sparked your curiosity! Make her feel truly seen, heard, and desired in her entirety ! Well done Terraklvh !! Hope you find your Savy-Lover out there!! All the best - Bee 🐝
Te**** Posted 1 hour ago Author 1 hour ago, DeviousDuoSwitch said: Soo my husband and I share an acct… I basically manage it/send messages. Soo many people don’t respond it’s crazy. Like I’m genuinely looking for a couple or female and not sure if it’s that they aren’t looking for anyone currently.. not sure if we aren’t their type and don’t even deserve a response.. not sure if they even read the message, but it’s underwhelming when we send messages and it’s to the point where I’m down to just “hey how are you” or “hey.. interested”.. just to see if I get a response… happy to spark a conversation and QUICK.. but can’t even barely get responses to start one. 😕 I can appreciate that, but how are you is basically dead in the water for me. I think there was one person where when I was asked how I was i responded with "dealing with a chronic condition of being asked how I am. So far there's no cure in sight."
Li**** Posted 1 hour ago I wish the men who alter their path of travel multiple times to stare at me in public could manage a hello. All this effort goes into perfect profiles and openers for a format where it’s not physiologically possible to know if I’m even attracted or not. Zero courage and zero effort happens in person where anything is actually possible.
Ve**** Posted 1 hour ago I am looking for a training about that!! My AuDHD makes me feel like "do I need a info dump sharing?!" "Can I say X or Y to break the ice?" "Am I searing too much?!" 😁😁😁😁
pl**** Posted 54 minutes ago 24 minutes ago, BZBEE said: I 100% agree. And gentlemen, allow me to add another perspective, because the struggle is not exclusive to just one person ! My inbox has seen its fair share of linguistic catastrophes: “S’up!” “Hey, cutie!” “Wanna touch you!” And, of course, the occasional word vomit that seems to bypass the brain entirely on its way to the keyboard. Now, don’t misunderstand me. I appreciate a compliment, and I enjoy being desired. But there is a considerable difference between expressing attraction and making a woman feel like the next available body on someone’s shopping list. Desire is wonderful. Expressing it with intelligence, humour, and imagination? Now, that is seductive. Read her profile… if she wrote some things … take the time to read them - find the things she talks about with enthusiasm - then make an introduction and mention what you enjoyed reading from her and what else sparked your curiosity! Make her feel truly seen, heard, and desired in her entirety ! Well done Terraklvh !! Hope you find your Savy-Lover out there!! All the best - Bee 🐝 Lovely advice!! Couldn’t agree more!
Te**** Posted 52 minutes ago Author 26 minutes ago, BZBEE said: I 100% agree. And gentlemen, allow me to add another perspective, because the struggle is not exclusive to just one person ! My inbox has seen its fair share of linguistic catastrophes: “S’up!” “Hey, cutie!” “Wanna touch you!” And, of course, the occasional word vomit that seems to bypass the brain entirely on its way to the keyboard. Now, don’t misunderstand me. I appreciate a compliment, and I enjoy being desired. But there is a considerable difference between expressing attraction and making a woman feel like the next available body on someone’s shopping list. Desire is wonderful. Expressing it with intelligence, humour, and imagination? Now, that is seductive. Read her profile… if she wrote some things … take the time to read them - find the things she talks about with enthusiasm - then make an introduction and mention what you enjoyed reading from her and what else sparked your curiosity! Make her feel truly seen, heard, and desired in her entirety ! Well done Terraklvh !! Hope you find your Savy-Lover out there!! All the best - Bee 🐝 This all of this. And I do understand that putting yourself out there is hard with women. I've been on HER and other apps, have been ghosted by many women who swipe on me first. Any lesbian can also atest to this. now I will say I have found genuine connection and gems on this app, but because my time is not infinite, the ones I find interesting are the ones that get my attention. 🤷♀️
Va**** Posted 45 minutes ago OMG, your post hits so close to home, girl! I'm the wife half of our couple account. I'm both demi and sapio, so I understand what you're saying 100%. "Hi, how are you?" may be boring to start with, but I'll give it a chance to see if something more interesting develops. It's the "Yo" dudes that I can't stand. That is literally the entire message. Just, "Yo". Talk about low effort! I roll my eyes & pass on those. I usually won't even respond. My husband likes to joke that being on apps like this is like fishing for a lot of men. They throw their "Yo" out there like a fishing line. It's their equivalent of - "hey, wanna fuck?" - over and over, hoping someone will eventually bite. Makes me wonder how often their extremely low effort at conversation has paid off? Or when someone sends something like, "Hey, you're hot. Would love to hang out with you sometime." as their opening message, you reply, then they don't respond to you for 3 or 4 days. I understand that not everybody is glued to their phone 24/7. I'm a nurse and a mom. There are times where it may take me a few hours to answer because I'm taking care of a patient at work, doing something with my kids, or just sleeping during the day because I work night shift, but I still make the effort to get on here a couple of times per day to at least check for messages or respond to people!
Ki**** Posted 44 minutes ago “I want [this], [that], and [the other]”… ”Give me [this]”… “Show me [this]”… You ask, “Why does every conversation seem to start with the same five lines?” Perhaps you should take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Why do I expect someone else to put in the effort to write an intriguing, funny, challenging, sexy, witty, imaginative, personal, and/or thoughtful message to me, when I’m either too lazy or too entitled to send an initial message to someone else?” I’ve sent literally over 100 initial messages to women on this app alone, and in every message, I have tried to be witty, imaginative, personal, funny, thoughtful, challenging, and/or intriguing—NEVER writing something as simple or cliche as “Hey, how are you?”, “I think you’re beautiful/gorgeous”, or even “You have the most enchanting/sparkling/beautiful eyes!”… I put significant time and effort into each of those messages, and I’m a talented and skilled writer. Nevertheless, after sending those 100+ messages over the past year, during which I’ve been a premium or VIP member of this app/site, I’ve received no more than THREE replies. The vast majority of my messages are either deleted (as indicated by a 🗑️ symbol next to the message in my inbox), hidden by the recipient (as indicated by the 🚫 symbol—but colored white), never read (as indicated by a single check mark ☑️, whereas messages that are read are indicated by two check marks ☑️☑️)—sometimes even after I’ve used points to “highlight” my message in their inbox in an attempt to get their attention—or ignored (as indicated by two check marks ☑️☑️, meaning they’ve read my message, in combination with my inability to send any further messages to them unless/until they reply)… I’d be gracious and understanding if I even received a reply simply stating that they appreciated my message but weren’t interested, yet, I’ve only received such a message ONCE! To think that you (and several of the commenters) are complaining, not about betting ignored constantly and rarely receiving replies to your carefully crafted and thoughtful messages, nor about receiving crass and/or vulgar messages from classless or even disgusting guys, but about receiving TOO MANY messages which ask you how you are doing and/or PRAISING you—telling you how beautiful someone thinks you are, or how petty your eyes are?! Shame on you—you self-entitled, lazy, selfish, ungracious snobs!
au**** Posted 36 minutes ago 1 hour ago, auburn78667 said: This whole app is full of basics. That’s why they are here. Realistically if anyone was that much of a draw they wouldn’t be on the I yet net begging for attention so you’re gonna get the same basic story every time. This is a fetish app. My approach is, “hey, how gross are you? 2/5 people on here actually admit to having herpes, do you have it too, Or what? Let’s hang out for the week and schedule std testing so you’ll hopefully test clean and we can fuck for like the next year+ and not have to worry about anything?” Would you believe how many times I get blocked? And I’m like, “ok, take your disease ridden ass back to fakebook where the sniveling cowards dwell.” 🤣 *Internet
Ra**** Posted 33 minutes ago I agree, even though this app is for fetishes, it's also for people who are kinky, who are more into the BDSM scene whether they want a dynamic with a Dominant or submissive or a play partner or whatever. I find it so difficult to just have a conversation with others because I feel most just want easy sex. As a Demisexual it's very difficult to find someone who is patient, trustworthy and interested in the lifestyle, and wants a submissive. Most want sex within two weeks or you get ghosted. Most aren't patient to be vetted or interested to come to a munch to meet in public. But then again most don't read my profile.
JC**** Posted 13 minutes ago We are taught basic social skills as ***. A conversation starts with “hey 👋” not “if we lived in a fairy tale land what kind of *** tail would you have”. A lot of guys aren’t going to start off with something elaborate, especially if the folks they’re messaging aren’t going to even reply. Being a man on this app is kind of a waste of time unless you’re super hot. The normal fellas end up with with prostitutes and scammers in their inboxes. The ladies end up with a bunch of dudes they’d never fuck in theirs. But if you wanted to you could pick a random weirdo from your inbox at any moment. Yall can’t be shallow AND expect us to put forth 100% of the effort in the beginning.
au**** Posted 8 minutes ago 1 hour ago, torontodanielle said: The most memorable for me was your so pretty I'd like to at least try to impregnate you lol 😆 Lmfao. No one. Not one person had ever said that. But yeah. 👍
Ry**** Posted 5 minutes ago Maybe answer the "hey" or "hello" and see where it goes? Both sides need to recognize the challenges the other is facing and give a little consideration to that when they feel it's worth it.
Daddybrains Posted just now @Terraklysh I love this. And. I find that an opening message is a crapshot, even if the sender reads and understands the recipient’s profile. All of the overthinking the guys you’d actually like probably do: Is she a “smarts” sapiosexual or a “good taste” sapiosexual? Is she a brat from the first response, or a brat only once the dynamic is established? Is she real (10% chance) or a scammer (90% chance)? Does she actually have words, curves, and imagination herself, or is she just gold digging for a guy with a good white collar job? Personally I love to flirt, and I find a profile is almost never a reliable flirting roadmap. I try to at least demonstrate that I’ve read it, that I’ve looked for small details in the photos (I love small details). Often, I fail with the very first message. “But we just keep trying, like fools.” I hope you find someone who will, to their own good fortune, get the first few moves of the convo right and build something you love!
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