What kind of Dom is this?

[an****]

Pleasure Dom? Service Dom? Caregiver? Or am I just ridiculously happy making someone happy? 🤣❤️

I just spent the most wonderfully uneventful three days with the sweetest little thing, and I'm genuinely trying to figure out what to call the enormous amount of joy I got from doing absolutely nothing extraordinary.

No ***, no job, no social media, no endless notifications or obligations demanding her attention. Just this sweet, beautiful little creature who came over Sunday afternoon and somehow turned my house into the most peaceful place on earth. 😊

And before anyone gets the wrong idea, we didn't kiss. We didn't have sex. We didn't do anything particularly sexual at all.

We cuddled. We laid on each other. We shared a bed, watched movies, and just existed together.

And somehow, it was absolutely wonderful.

We watched movies. A LOT of movies. I rented four of them and made three trips to the store because she'd casually mention something she wanted, and apparently my brain interprets a passing thought as a mission requiring immediate execution. 🤣

And I LOVED it.

She'd mention wanting takeout, and I'd be delighted to go get it. She'd remember another movie halfway through the one we were watching, and suddenly we were switching films.

And the funny thing is, I didn't care about the movies at all.

I loved that she'd remember a particular scene and get excited because she wanted to show it to me. We'd be watching something completely ridiculous, and she'd tell me to pay attention because her favorite part was coming up.

She wasn't just watching a movie. She wanted to share something she enjoyed with me, and she didn't want me to miss it.

I absolutely adored that. 🥹

And then there was the chocolate milk. ❤️

At some point, she'd mentioned that she needed a toothbrush. During one of the shows we were watching, she'd also casually mentioned that it had been forever since she'd had chocolate milk.

Just two little passing thoughts.

So naturally, I went to the store and came back with a toothbrush, milk, and chocolate syrup.

I sat down beside her with a cup and a knife to stir it.

I asked her to point to where on the cup she wanted the milk filled.

She showed me.

Then I asked her how chocolatey she wanted it.

And she told me.

Every question I asked, she answered precisely, calmly, and in the sweetest way imaginable.

No impatience. No awkwardness about asking for something. No making me guess what she wanted. Just this incredibly gentle, positive, kind energy.

She was perfectly comfortable telling me exactly what would make her happy, and I was absolutely delighted to make it happen.

And I think that little cup of chocolate milk might have been one of my favorite moments of the entire three days.

Not because there was anything special about chocolate milk.

But because of how she interacted with me.

The calmness. The kindness. The simplicity. The way she could communicate exactly what she wanted without demanding anything, and receive it with this wonderfully sweet disposition.

It was an energy I hadn't realized I'd been missing for so long.

There was no tension to navigate, no uncertainty to decode, no feeling that I was doing too much or that my attention was somehow unwelcome.

Just two people sitting beside each other, making a cup of chocolate milk exactly the way one of them liked it.

And I was ridiculously happy. 🥹❤️

We also spent something like two hours on the back patio, singing songs she picked while we rocked together and bum*** into each other, singing, smiling, existing.

Nothing planned. Nothing accomplished. Nothing that needed accomplishing.

Just her singing, me singing parts I knew, me listening to her beautiful voice, and the two of us sharing space.

And then there were the clothes. 🤣❤️

She'd been staying long enough that her clothes needed washing, so naturally, I offered her some of mine to wear while I did her laundry.

Now, I'm considerably bigger than she is, so everything I gave her was hilariously oversized.

She looked like the world's most adorable flying squirrel.

And every time she'd come back to bed wearing my clothes, she'd pounce on me.

Imagine this tiny, happy little creature launching herself in a fabric wingsuit. 🤣🤣

I cannot adequately describe how ridiculously happy that made me.

I was delighted to be washing her clothes, delighted that she was comfortable wearing mine, and absolutely melting every time my little flying squirrel came bounding back into bed.

How is doing someone's laundry and getting tackled by a bundle of oversized clothing this rewarding? 🥹❤️

There were work-from-home hours, lazy mornings, ridiculous movies, snacks, cuddling, and entire stretches of time where absolutely nothing happened.

At one point I asked her to lay her head on my chest and just exist with me.

I swear I about died of happiness. 😊❤️

And then there was the ongoing departure ceremony.

Her: "I should probably go home."

Me: "Okay."

Her: "You probably want me to leave, don't you?"

Me: "I don't want you to leave. I'm perfectly content."

And she'd roll over and snuggle back in. 🤣

This happened repeatedly.

I'd tell her, "I'll never ask you to leave."

Not because I needed her to stay. Not because I expected anything from her. I was simply that happy having her there.

She'd fall asleep, I'd get up for work, and she'd make some adorable muffled noise and roll over in bed.

And somehow that was wonderful, too.

There was no kissing, no sex, no sexual gratification, and no expectation that any of those things would happen.

Just this overwhelming enjoyment of taking care of another person.

But more specifically, I loved hearing her have a thought and immediately wanting to make it happen.

Not because she demanded it. Not because I needed to earn affection. Not because I expected anything in return.

Her happiness was the reward.

And maybe even more than that, I loved how easy she made it to care for her.

She didn't have to perform gratitude or make some grand gesture. She could just tell me how much chocolate syrup she wanted, curl up beside me, point out her favorite scene in a movie, or sing on the patio.

Her willingness to let me care for her, and the gentleness with which she received that care, made the whole experience feel effortless.

I loved getting takeout. I loved running errands. I loved finding movies. I loved doing her laundry. I loved making chocolate milk. I loved listening to her sing. I loved her sharing little moments that mattered to her.

I loved that she was comfortable enough to simply exist in my home without feeling obligated to entertain me.

And I loved that she kept choosing to stay.

I don't know if she'll ever come back after this wonderful little stretch of hibernation. 🤣 And strangely, that doesn't diminish how beautiful the experience was.

So here's my question:

What exactly is this?

Is there a particular name for the almost overwhelming satisfaction that comes from anticipating someone's desires, fulfilling the simplest little wants, and watching them become completely comfortable and content?

Because I don't particularly want someone to serve me.

I want someone to have a thought, let me turn it into reality, and then curl up beside me while we enjoy it together.

Is the pleasure in providing, in nurturing, in being useful, or in being trusted enough that someone can simply relax and exist beside you?

And what about the pleasure of someone being so gentle, positive, and comfortable in receiving that care that even the smallest interaction feels meaningful?

Does it even qualify as a kink when there's absolutely nothing sexual happening?

Or is my kink apparently just being a butler whose making perfect chocolate milk and getting tackled by an affectionate flying squirrel? 🤣❤️

[Ry****]

If you had to use a generic label it sounds like caregiver, if you wanted to create your own I'd say Comfort Dom could work.

[SD****]

Sounds like love, but like, that once in every 1,000 person love. There are those who to date for, and those who are absolutely struck at the start. Those who are absolutely struck dont really give af about naughty as much as just being around the person that draws them, its quite fulfilling and feels awesome, can you see them at your wedding opposite to you?? a more real love than is on this app. Kinda a scary thing once you think about it in its Genuine nature. Id hold on to that one and uninstall this app. ive been searching for a reciprocated version of what you just found my whole life and its lead to a severe lack of Expirience, so i dowloded apps like this to escape being genuine. Dont be me ESCAPE BRETHEREN

[Ry****]

38 minutes ago, Rynne89 said:

If you had to use a generic label it sounds like caregiver, if you wanted to create your own I'd say Comfort Dom could work.

Oh its most definitely something deeper than a sub-dom from how you described it. But if you're asking for what type of dom I'd say comfort/all in.

[Pl****]

That reads like a caretaker. I’m a pleasure dom. I enjoy the female form, and love to give them physical pleasure. That being said, the pleasure is a reward that also gets me going. My experience is take care of her first, then I get to unload.

[Th****]

40 minutes ago, Rynne89 said:

If you had to use a generic label it sounds like caregiver, if you wanted to create your own I'd say Comfort Dom could work.

I would agree with the caregiver umbrella but it reads as the absence of D/s to me so I wouldn't consider Dom of any sort to be accurate. Not all kink and BDSM is inherently sexual nor is it inherently D/s.

Lots of archetypes can exist on either side of the slash depending on framing or without D/s entirely. 

[ch****]

To me as a sub/LG this reads Daddy in a lot of ways. The aspect of care and attention to their needs.

[Ju****]

So happy for you!
This sounds like a perfect time 🧡🧡

[Te****]

This honestly just sounds like love to me. And I'm with ThaliaV: I don't see why you'd need to label it under some kind of domming anyway; not everything has to be shoehorned into some label, BDSM or otherwise  Just enjoy it! Vanilla isn't a bad thing. 

[Xl****]

Yourr a giver a pleaser, no not weird at all

[an****]

Maybe some combination niche Comfort, or All-in, or Love Dom is interesting 🤔 and pleasure Dom could be in there somewhere.

I am the same way when sex is involved, she just didn't need that, she needed to sing sad songs and be held and watch stupid movies and drink chocolate milk and sleep and hang out.

If she wanted to build a bookshelf or plant something or work on a resume, or have limits pushed until she can't walk I would care for these things all the same. All the things are the same to me.

It's when they ask, it's the asking and wanting and the needing that gets me. It doesn't matter what it is, just want it. And all it takes is a thought said out loud.

During sex scenes it so much more directive, lead up, music, lighting, then heavier petting, then the toys, then the equipment, then the exhaustion, then aftercare. It's all me orchestrating and designing like a conductor conducting one more concerto.

Sex is fun and getting off is great and all. And it's better when she says deeper, slower, faster, keep going, I'm close, I'm cumming and communicates and we are one connected unit.

But this was different because she was asking specifically for exactly what she wanted and it was the way she was asking, it was so gentle and genuine and simple and comfortable.

I want to see Wicked. I pick it, rent it, play it. She is happy. When a part that is important to her comes up, she physically looks at my face and says "are you watching?", confirms, then explains the scene. I liked that a lot and told her. This happened a dozen times.

Then halfway through Wicked 2, "I wanna watch Ant-man", "yes baby".

"Do you want food"? "Yes, from (local place), pull up the app?", then I asked her every question and she didn't hesitate once, just answered my questions, then she fell asleep waiting, I leave to get her order, come back, wake her, and she eats while I rub her back and we continue the show. And she enjoys her food, doesn't offer me anything, not that she won't share, just because I don't ask.

And there was this calm with everything.

Like I wasn't "playing by myself" we were just functioning.

What is that?

[Se****]

I would say a Daddy/Caregiver also Soft Dom. What you described was essentially how every visit with my little goes. She barely has to move a muscle except to go to the bathroom everything else I take care of. My advice is to do some research and figure out what role suits you, which one calls to you. Also, it might not be just one that fits so be open to that as well. Daddy was what called to me and I haven't looked back ever since.

[Da****]

What a wonderful story you shared. I love the emotion s you’ve expressed. Are you saying you don’t want to have sex ever? Is this a new situation ( you just met) or it’s always been this way between you .

[Daddy4You01]

Little flying squirrel is the best! Love that.

[Daddy4You01]

I miss my little with everything in my soul. :/