Manners and politness.

[Deleted Member]

So your new to the site and looking to chat and meet new people. Some of us have to hide our identity untill a communication is formed with a person. And once happy then a photo of said self is shared. And yet they see the photo. Might not be what the person is looking for but rather than have manners and say sorry not my type.instant block for non reason. That i do not understand. But like being on pof and swipe left or right. Bit of decent courtesy still does not go amiss even on here.if you start a conversation still be polite if they are not to your liking.

[Deleted Member]

With the anonymity on the internet good manners and politeness are apparently lost, very recognizable.

[ge****]

The problem is - if they say "sorry not my type" then there is the potential for things to go quickly downhill to messages questioning why at best and *** at worst all because the recipient (who has often been sent the pic unsolicited) was "polite" - now that's not always the result of course but some people can get butthurt very quickly at rejection, so I understand why some people protect themselves from the potential of it.

[ey****]

I'm assuming the photos were both asked for and appropriate ?

[Deleted Member]

Yes absoulty clean and face pic.and was requested

[ge****]

7 minutes ago, Handcuffyou2 said:

Yes absoulty clean and face pic.and was requested

In that case then a polite "thanks but no thanks" would be more appropriate - however I can still understand why people don't for the reasons I gave above - whilst you may have exchanged a few messages they still don't really "know" you well enough to know that you're not going to send *** etc.

It's frustrating but it's also the way it goes on sites like this.

[Deleted Member]

I totally get why people don't want to share face pics on here and will take their time garnering trust. But it does mean that you might start to take steps towards someone and then not want to proceed once you've gotten a peek at their face. It is definitely more about personality to me, but physical attraction does matter. I feel like an absolute dick when I've started getting to know someone and then I feel I'm not attracted, but I always try to softly back off. A block or a ghost is not a good response.

[Deleted Member]

It happens all the time to many people on these things. This is why I don't bother messaging anymore. 

People use these sites like a McDonald's and expect a gourmet meal. It has to be instant attraction. Nothing else will do. 

People have forgotten personality matters most in today's throw away culture. That's why they jump from one fling to the next. 

Relationships are built, not found on the internet.

 

[SexxyMoeFoe]

While I don't block someone if I am not attracted to them, I have gotten very nasty messages from people when I tell then they aren't my type.  Often being told I am a slut or whore to being called the n-word.

Again, I don't block but sending someone a polite "not my type" is anxiety-ridden since that's the kind of thing that triggers nice-guy syndrome...

I've also had it happen to me after sending a face pic.  While I am attractive, I don't assume I am everyone's cup of tea.  Also, based on some of my pics (not here) people are expecting a full-on-glam IG model and while I *can* look like that, I always send a very plain-Jane little to no makeup pic since that's what I look like most of the time.  Anyone looking for a fantasy vs a real person doesn't really want that so they ghost really fast. LOL

[Deleted Member]

22 minutes ago, SexxyMoeFoe said:

While I don't block someone if I am not attracted to them, I have gotten very nasty messages from people when I tell then they aren't my type.  Often being told I am a slut or whore to being called the n-word.

Again, I don't block but sending someone a polite "not my type" is anxiety-ridden since that's the kind of thing that triggers nice-guy syndrome...

I've also had it happen to me after sending a face pic.  While I am attractive, I don't assume I am everyone's cup of tea.  Also, based on some of my pics (not here) people are expecting a full-on-glam IG model and while I *can* look like that, I always send a very plain-Jane little to no makeup pic since that's what I look like most of the time.  Anyone looking for a fantasy vs a real person doesn't really want that so they ghost really fast. LOL

Fascism and racism don't belong anywhere, so they don't belong here either. Such behavior is not acceptable and must be reported immediately. It is strange that an environment such as this open minded community is in practice less open minded than many people claim. Being open minded is accepting and respecting that when an adult woman voluntarily chooses to earn her *** in prostitution, it is seen as any other profession. If you are going to call a woman a whore in a humiliating way when you are rejected, then you are not half as open minded as you claim, and you are quite narrow-minded. It's one of the many issues this world has, unfortunately.

[SexxyMoeFoe]

4 hours ago, FreeUrMind said:

If you are going to call a woman a whore in a humiliating way when you are rejected, then you are not half as open minded as you claim, and you are quite narrow-minded. It's one of the many issues this world has, unfortunately.

Agreed.  The irony of course is being called a slut or whore for NOT easily sleeping with a total stranger. LOL

[Deleted Member]

I think threads like this just show how much control women have over men. And so they should. Its their safety on the line. Men only have to worry about protecting their wallets from scammers. 

The tide has turned. The matriarchy is destroying the patriarchy. Whether you're Dom or sub, get on your knees because women have the power now and I love it. 

[ey****]

27 minutes ago, Axlsub said:

I think threads like this just show how much control women have over men. And so they should. Its their safety on the line. Men only have to worry about protecting their wallets from scammers. 

I feel your point is *almost* there but a bit contradictory.

It's not necessarily about power, or control - it's about safety.

In older surveys the man's biggest *** in a date would be that the woman he was meeting was fat. A woman's biggest *** was that he would be abusive.

(A paper actually did a little 'experiment' based on that survey and a lady who was slim and pretty in her pictures, turned up to the date in a fat suit and with prosthetics - 4 of the 5 guys didn't go through with the date.  They also tried this with a guy and while all 5 women did make a comment he looked a little different to the pictures, they all actually went through with the date - 2 of which arranging second dates)

And this isn't about power, or control - but about safety.

That was 7 years ago.   I think now a man's biggest ***s are going to be that "she says no", that he will be scammed, or that she's only interested in the meal out.

A woman's biggest *** is STILL that the man is abusive.

And this is central to so much.  So when someone hits block, or ignore, or whatever - it might seem drastic, it might seem impolite, but in doing so they're protecting themselves - because there's been times when they've done the "I'm sorry, I'm not interested" and either been met with some form of "Oh, what can I do to improve", "oh but why not", and the, ahem, "what don't you know" which drags out a conversation in a hope that being cute will change her mind - or - been met with ***.

[Deleted Member]

I dont think it has anything to do with power or control for either sex. Not everyone we meet is a match.like I said it's a swipe left wipe right like pof or tinder. Point i was making was you start a conversation with a simple polite message. No reply no problem. The issue i find is when you accept that conversation and reply to the message and chat quite normally and polite.you both ask to exchange photos of each other and suddenly blockednone further conversation .no politness or if you ask to see a photo of them as they are now as things are not adding up ie location. Manner of speaking or asking the wrong questions. Or straight in into it saying you want to bow down to your mistress and are yet 5000 miles away. And they expect 200 dollars for the privilege, that just screams scam. Manners goes both ways. Judging people by how they look in a photo before knowing them will always be the downfall of internet sites no matter what they are.

[Deleted Member]

22 minutes ago, Handcuffyou2 said:

I dont think it has anything to do with power or control for either sex. Not everyone we meet is a match.like I said it's a swipe left wipe right like pof or tinder. Point i was making was you start a conversation with a simple polite message. No reply no problem. The issue i find is when you accept that conversation and reply to the message and chat quite normally and polite.you both ask to exchange photos of each other and suddenly blockednone further conversation .no politness or if you ask to see a photo of them as they are now as things are not adding up ie location. Manner of speaking or asking the wrong questions. Or straight in into it saying you want to bow down to your mistress and are yet 5000 miles away. And they expect 200 dollars for the privilege, that just screams scam. Manners goes both ways. Judging people by how they look in a photo before knowing them will always be the downfall of internet sites no matter what they are.

Yeah, I was being slightly tongue in cheek. 

Blocking is very rude and offensive to genuine men. From what women say on this and other posts, it's their go to resolution for some, because its not uncommon for them to receive all sorts of *** from men who get turned down. Leaving them with the impression that most men are dodgey in some way. Its a real shame.

Its easy to say "I'm a genuine polite gentleman". Proving it is something else. People have to be open to giving the benefit of doubt and taking a chance to talk on video and meeting for a coffee. 

Women need all options necessary to protect themselves. A lot of men online don't realise or help the plight of "genuine" men. They have the choice. It has to be that way. 

Best thing to do is take it all with a pinch of salt. It doesn't really matter. Its only online. We have to respect women's cautiousness. Real life is what counts. You can only be yourself and have self assurance that you're a good one.