Tis the curse of the black tongued subbie…

[Deleted Member]

(Best read in your besteth pirate voice!)

…RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Currrrse? I hear you crryyyy!!! What currrrse? But heedeth my warning I say!!! Heedeth my warning! For it is a tale of woooee and misfortune!

RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! I say. Heedeth my warning I say or face thy dooooommmmm!!!! RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! For the black tongued subbie doeseth haunt these pages to this veeerrry daaaayyyyy! RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!

For it was, I saayyyy, in the days of yore, in the year of nine*** hundred and eighty five that a poor misguided fellow fell foul of the foulest of foulest of foul deeds and was thereafter cursed and doooommmed, doooommmed I say, to haunt these pages to this very day as the black tongued subbie. RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

….to haunt these pages to this day I say, to wreak his revenge on those who mighteth perpetuate the foulest of foulest of foul deeds on yet another poor innocent misguided fool of a subbie. Revenge I say, revennnnnge!!! RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Whateth I hear you asketh was this foulest of foulest of foul deeds that befell this poor misguided fool of a subbie so long ago? RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Heed me well and learn, learn I say, what once befell a poor misguided fool a subbie so long ago. RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

It was a dark, dark dreadful day, in the year of nine*** hundred and eighty five when a poor misguided fool of a subbie was kneeling, kneeling I say, at the feet of his beloved Mistress. RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! And this Mistress, this Mistress I say, who was wearing black thigh length boots, does sayeth unto her kneeling devoted misguided fool of a subbie, “Boy, I want you to polish my boots with your tongue. Make them shine! Make them glean like new! Make me proud of you!”

Wwoooee and misfortune! Woe and misfortune follow I say. RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! For this poor misguided fool of a subbie, devoted as he was, devoted I say, to his beloved Mistress dideth useth his tongue to polish those black thigh length boots using a tin of black boot polish.

Nnnooooooo!!!! I hear you crryyyy!!! Nnnooooooo!!!! Use a fucking cloth, you cry, not your tongue you idiot!! But that was the year of nine*** hundred and eighty five and this is now and your cries cannot be heard and this poor fool of a subbie was misguided, misguided I say, by his Mistress, a Mistress that he was once devoted to and adored very much.

RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! So in the year of nine*** hundred and eighty five that poor misguided fool of a subbie, devoted to his Mistress, and aiming to please her as best he could, would forever after live with a tongue blackened, blackened I say, with black boot polish. RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! What a tale it is!

….and thateth how he, that poor misguided fool of a subbie, became from that day forward to be known as the black tongued subbie. RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! For is it not a tale of woooee and misfortune!? Woooee and misfortune I say!? A permanently blackened, blackened I say, tongue all for the sake of a pair of black thigh length boots!!

But what about the curse? I hear you cry!!! What about the curse?

The curse?? RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! The curse I hear you cry!

From that day forward, that once poor misguided fool of a subbie, who was forever to known as the black tongued subbie swore revenge, swore revenge he did. Revennge!

RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! From that day forward he swore that no other poor misguided fool of a subbie, no matter how devoted to their Mistress, would suffer as he had for the sake of a pair of black thigh length boots. RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

And so he swore, swore I say, to haunt these very pages seeking out those Mistresses who would sacrifice the tongues of subbies for the sake of their boot and shoe collections. Revennge! RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Revenge!

The black tongued subbie haunts I say, haunts these pages and beguiles Mistresses, beguiles them with tales of boot and shoe worship until he is in position so that he can exact his revenge on the very essence of the being, their boot and shoe collection. RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!

….and his method of revenge I hear you ask? For his revenge he now uses brown boot polish, brown boot polish I say, on every black boot and shoe he is asked to clean and polish! Nnnnnnnooooooooo!! I hear you cry. Brown shoe polish………!! That’s pure eeevilll!! RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!! Evil it is I say, evil it is and that’s the curse of the black tongued subbie!

So I say. Heedeth my warning I say or face thy dooooommmmm!!!! For the black tongued subbie doeseth haunt these pages to this veeerrry daaaayyyyy seeking his revenge! RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!! You have been warned!

Thank you for reading this public information weblog which was brought to in association with Cherry Blossom Black Boot Polish. RRRrrrrrrrrrrr!!

(originally written in 2005 - so long ago...)