Churchy Kinky

[Deleted Member]

I live in the NYC area, and I’ve been a strong Christian for over 30 years, but I’ve been a latex/leather fetishist for the same amount of time. Dating for me is incredibly difficult, because non-fetish Christian women view me as “too kinky/freaky”, whereas non-Christian fetish women totally accept me...I feel so alone and trapped. What should I do?? How do I meet someone like me?? Or should I just start dating non-Christian fetish women with hopes that they’ll be open to Christianity one day?? Any feedback will be greatly appreciated...I feel like I’m the only religious (Christian) latex/leather fetishist alive. 

[Deleted Member]

Why should they have to be open to becoming Christian? If they accept you for who you are that should be enough. If your Christian friends are going to judge you then it doesn’t sound like they are Christians at all. Just be happy and respect everyone. I really doubt god cares. 

[3S****]

There are other christians on here, i'm sure they'll be along at some point and introduce themselves. I'm not one of them.

[BigPolly]

Ohhh I was just going to putt EXACTLY what @Darkminotaur just put! Why do the 2 need to follow side by side? If you’re enjoying kink etc why does the person sharing that with you then have to share the same religious faith? If they accept you for who you are then even if they don’t share the same religion they’re not going to stop you doing what’s important to you. ....& you’re not telling me half those women in church aren’t dying to be shackled to the bed & let their inner wild s of take over! Stop over thinking things. Keep enjoying your religion & keep enjoying your leather & latex & stop trying to over complicating everything. So you’re a little weird, so what we’re all a little weird that’s what makes us all wonderful 😊

[Deleted Member]

3SumQueen, thank you for your encouragement - I sure hope that I’ll connect with others like me. Darkminotaur and BigPolly, thank you as well - your feedback makes sense. The only reason why religious continuity is important to me (whether Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish, etc.) is because I want to be in a long term relationship and possibly have kids with this person. Having a similar perspective when it comes to sex, ***, and religion enables a household to function fluidly - albeit, there will always be problems. If she accepts me for who I am (whether she’s Christian or not), then great...But if she abides by a different ethos when considering how to raise kids or manage a household, then things can become problematic quickly. I went thru an ugly divorce years ago, so I’m just trying to prevent foreseeable missteps...But like you said, maybe I’m thinking too much - who knows. 

[BigPolly]

Right now you’re doing something completely different...you’re comparing something that hasn’t yet happened, to your past. I’m pagan & I have never been in a pagan relationship. My way of life is passionately important to me but I’ve also accepted that when I practice I do it alone & would never expect anyone to have to do things my way. In all relationships there are compromises but just because something ended badly previously, your next partner could be totally atheist but accept that way of life isn’t the same for you.

Don’t step away from who you are, be it religion or kinks but also don’t let the fact that we’re all very very different & may not ever find anyone quite like ourselves define your life or you’ll never be happy.

you will only ever find true genuine deep happiness within yourself, once you’re truly happy with who you are & what you are, the rest will either follow or won’t matter anyway. You know your religion is important to you but so are your kinks & not everyone will like that but that doesn’t matter because we don’t like everyone either. Stop worrying & enjoy every challange that is thrown at you treating it like an amazing adventure 😊

[Tyskiethebear]

Sorry to hear that you have been accepted by people and are still lonely! Perhaps religion is not ready for sexual fetishes yet! Many people live duplicitously opposing lives because of it! It can be difficult but I do not think it is wrong! Fulfilment comes from realising oneself.

[Deleted Member]

I'm not only a Christian, I'm an ordained Minister to the kinky. 

I'm sorry you are feeling so torn in two over this. There are whole swathes of Christianity that are not very accepting (a whole other topic could be written on that) but there are accepting Christians out there too. 

But I really don't think you need a Christian per se, for a relationship. I am quite liberal in my leanings, I accept that, but I think God can be found in a million different ways, not just through church and the bible and all that jazz. 

As long as you are happy in your relationship with God and your relationship with your fetish, then it's all good. Find someone who likes you for the unique, awesome human you are

[Lugnut-4292]

I'm not a Christian so maybe I don't understand. However, finding a kink partner appears to be more difficult than I had thought (as people tell me) so finding a Christian kink partner just adds more obstacles. I asked a Christian friend of mine (who I did not give the full context to) would he have married his wife if she was not Christian and he said probably not. Clearly finding somebody with the same religion is important for some people. Not judging, just don't get why? Mrs LugNut isn't religious but I would have had no issue if she was. I'm all for diversity. The most important thing kids need is loving parents I believe and if that crossed different religious, race etc boundaries then I don't think it matters much, to me anyway.

L

Edited June 4, 2018 by lugnut

[Deleted Member]

BigPolly and VictoriaBlisse, I’m sending you two huge kisses from the US    I can’t thank you two enough for your expert opinion as women - it really helped ease my mind     Tyskiethebear and lugnut, thank you gentleman for your valuable insights as well - you guys are too cool for words...It’s times like this when I wish I lived in Europe! I definitely feel better about how to approach this now - watch out world